Thought I'd say 'hello' and give a quick update.
Just been reading some of the latest threads and nothing changes, same old, same old. Quite depressing really, so many people going through what I've been through as newbies. Anyway.....
To recap - got mum home (my home) almost a year ago now. She came by ambulance and unconcious. Now she's put on weight up and about and driving us all insane. But that's not bad going for someone that should have died 12 months ago (according to NHS). In fact, she recently celebrated her 91st birthday and wasn't at all impressed!
Haven't been around as it has taken over my life and no time or energy to do anything else. Don't know how some of you manage to regularly do blogs and threads, respect.
Anyway, we're at a plateau at the moment, most of the time things are quiet and then when we all think I can do this, she ups and attacks us (both physically and verbally).
Some of you may recall I was in great difficulties all round and once having succeeded in getting mum home could then get no more help. No doctor, SS, care manager, nurse - you name it, I tried it - would touch us. All because I'd brought her 200miles down the motorway. This is still a problem by the way - both Notts and Kent refuse to accept responsibility. In brief - this made me terribly ill and in the end I had to have emergency respite after mum gave me a particularly bad beating. However, nothing, NOTHING happened until I brought my local MP into the situ, then they all beat their way to my door and some of them not very happy for involving the MP.
Unfortunately mum continued to suffer neglect and abuse(in respite home) as witnessed by Xrds sitter who had volunteered to continue visiting mum. Natch, the home denied everything and had the cheek to tell me they would have to seriously consider having mum back before I could tell them we wouldn't be coming back thank you very much.
Mum's recovery is in part due to the fact that I no longer allow anyone to 'cosh' her with drugs. This does cause problems with GPs, care workers, etc. But it only makes their life easy not mum's.
Mum goes to daycare one day a week. She doesn't particularly want to go and they don't particularly want her there, but it does her good and she comes home almost 'normal' for interacting with others. At least it gives me the opportunity to give her room a good clean. But sometimes I wonder if the stress is worth it as the daycare staff always have a complaint about her. For example, she's difficult, she shouts, she can't remember things, she wets herself, she wanders, she wants to go home. Shocking isn't it,you'd think she had some sort of dementia and that they were not advertised as dementia specialists. I can't understand it really!
Care Agency continue to defraud, send inexperienced, untrained staff in - best was last week - young girl, 1st visit to mum, sent in on her own, suddenly came running out of mum's room and cried, Ooooooh, I'm so scared your mum just said she's going to shoot me'. I replied, 'not met my mum before, have you, not experienced dementia patients before, have you, don't think you should come back again, do you?' Haven't seen her since, but did ring agency office to confirm that mum hasn't actually got a gun, so she won;t be shooting anyone soon.
Sorry for the irreverance (or however its spelt) but I'm bordering on crazy myself these days, what with all the battles for rights and conversations with mum and that man in the corner (who's not there, just in case you've lost the thread of my rambling!). I wouldn't mind if he were young, rich and good-looking - but she never seems to be able tell me that bit!!!
Like I said same old, same old. I don't know how long I can do this 24/7 but one thing's for sure, I'll die doing it before I put her into the hands of some of the animals out there.
Don;t know when I'll be back but love to all - Sylvia, Connie,Margaret,Joanne and everyone else who regularly supported and advised me (and who unselfishly continue to do so to all newbies). Have not fogotten you all.
ellie
Just been reading some of the latest threads and nothing changes, same old, same old. Quite depressing really, so many people going through what I've been through as newbies. Anyway.....
To recap - got mum home (my home) almost a year ago now. She came by ambulance and unconcious. Now she's put on weight up and about and driving us all insane. But that's not bad going for someone that should have died 12 months ago (according to NHS). In fact, she recently celebrated her 91st birthday and wasn't at all impressed!
Haven't been around as it has taken over my life and no time or energy to do anything else. Don't know how some of you manage to regularly do blogs and threads, respect.
Anyway, we're at a plateau at the moment, most of the time things are quiet and then when we all think I can do this, she ups and attacks us (both physically and verbally).
Some of you may recall I was in great difficulties all round and once having succeeded in getting mum home could then get no more help. No doctor, SS, care manager, nurse - you name it, I tried it - would touch us. All because I'd brought her 200miles down the motorway. This is still a problem by the way - both Notts and Kent refuse to accept responsibility. In brief - this made me terribly ill and in the end I had to have emergency respite after mum gave me a particularly bad beating. However, nothing, NOTHING happened until I brought my local MP into the situ, then they all beat their way to my door and some of them not very happy for involving the MP.
Unfortunately mum continued to suffer neglect and abuse(in respite home) as witnessed by Xrds sitter who had volunteered to continue visiting mum. Natch, the home denied everything and had the cheek to tell me they would have to seriously consider having mum back before I could tell them we wouldn't be coming back thank you very much.
Mum's recovery is in part due to the fact that I no longer allow anyone to 'cosh' her with drugs. This does cause problems with GPs, care workers, etc. But it only makes their life easy not mum's.
Mum goes to daycare one day a week. She doesn't particularly want to go and they don't particularly want her there, but it does her good and she comes home almost 'normal' for interacting with others. At least it gives me the opportunity to give her room a good clean. But sometimes I wonder if the stress is worth it as the daycare staff always have a complaint about her. For example, she's difficult, she shouts, she can't remember things, she wets herself, she wanders, she wants to go home. Shocking isn't it,you'd think she had some sort of dementia and that they were not advertised as dementia specialists. I can't understand it really!
Care Agency continue to defraud, send inexperienced, untrained staff in - best was last week - young girl, 1st visit to mum, sent in on her own, suddenly came running out of mum's room and cried, Ooooooh, I'm so scared your mum just said she's going to shoot me'. I replied, 'not met my mum before, have you, not experienced dementia patients before, have you, don't think you should come back again, do you?' Haven't seen her since, but did ring agency office to confirm that mum hasn't actually got a gun, so she won;t be shooting anyone soon.
Sorry for the irreverance (or however its spelt) but I'm bordering on crazy myself these days, what with all the battles for rights and conversations with mum and that man in the corner (who's not there, just in case you've lost the thread of my rambling!). I wouldn't mind if he were young, rich and good-looking - but she never seems to be able tell me that bit!!!
Like I said same old, same old. I don't know how long I can do this 24/7 but one thing's for sure, I'll die doing it before I put her into the hands of some of the animals out there.
Don;t know when I'll be back but love to all - Sylvia, Connie,Margaret,Joanne and everyone else who regularly supported and advised me (and who unselfishly continue to do so to all newbies). Have not fogotten you all.
ellie
