Hello everyone, I'm new to this site and only registered as a user recently. I have read a load of postings and wish I had subscribed a long time ago when things were tough. I am an only child and mum first started seeming 'odd' when I was 25 and planning my wedding. She worried excessively about her outfit and some said it was 'mother of the bride' nerves, but it seemed out of character. Then she forgot how to make pastry, never finished a sentence, constantly checked for her keys, really silly things that then seemed trivial but odd. For years she was diagnosed as having anxiety or being depressed and was treated accordingly. I noticed more alarming changes as years went on but Dad wouldn’t hear of it. Mum by now was beyond the point where I could talk to her about it. So I took her to the Dr - Dad was furious. The Dr asked her to explain the meaning of a proverb. She couldn’t. Funny how its the oddest thing that tips the balance. Anyway, Dr sent her for tests, she was diagnosed as having Alzheimers. Dad decided not to tell her, by this time the Dr said she wouldn’t know what the disease was, or would not remember being told the day after. I never agreed with this, I would want to know if it was me....... Dad cared for her for 5 years. Painful. I remember they came for tea once with my 2 children at the table and she picked up her glass of orange juice and poured it like gravy over her roast dinner. I cried and cried more than ever before that day as it was awful.... my children were growing up, and she was passing them going backwards. Mum went into our local hospital in 2002, 3 weeks after my husband left us. Skipping over the next 2 years, as they are not good times, Mum died in 2004. I am so sorry I never knew what support was out there. It all seems so long ago, yet so raw still. Does that sound silly? I didn’t have a good relationship with her due to all kinds of teenage shenanigans, but I loved her with all my heart. I never told her that tho. I suffer with awful guilt that when she needed me most, I was not there because I had to deal with my children's pain at the break up of our family. I cannot believe that I was almost glad she died when she did, but I was watching my Dad slowly die inside with the pain of visiting and caring for her. I registered with this forum because when I was reading your posts I wished to God I had known you were all out there when I needed support. I don’t have any answers but Dad and I are coming out the other side of a hellish period, and I hope that anyone reading this will take comfort in knowing that the bad times do end. Life deals hideous cards sometimes but families are the strongest force against them.