hello
@Linny64
a warm welcome to DTP
I hope you are able to get help from the continence service
I do wonder whether your dad is no longer sure of the process of using the toilet and cleaning up afterwards ... maybe the stroke has affected the use of his limbs ... if so, it may be worth finding ways for your mum to be with him and help out .... I appreciate that this can feel as though it takes away dignity and independence; personally, I see nothing dignified in getting into a mess over toiletting when some instruction and support can prevent the mess
with my dad, I took to noticing when he went to the bathroom and just happened to be around so I could 'barge in', profusely aplogise and offer to help or take over by helping 'undress' or passing toilet roll or running warm water to wash hands .... I acted as though there was nothing unusual in doing whatever I did, and made sure any cleaning materials I might need were already to reach .... and I did any necessary cleaning of the bathroom after I'd got dad out of there, so he didn't feel he was causing a problem .... fortunately dad was accepting of help, and we had a biscuit and coffee immediately after so he had something positive to focus on
it may be worth looking into getting handrails, a raised seat, even a brightly coloured toilet seat (as white in a white environment gives no signal as to where the toilet is) ... and leaving the lid up so that isn't a hindrance