Hi, looking for help for my mum to care for my dad who has FTD

[Baby Bunty]

Hi hope your dad is sorted asap..please tell nurse in hosptial that as a family you cant cope and your mum needs help and support....they will do a thing called a section 2..which basically is a referal to social services..they will also get OT and physio..best wishes and hope your dad is ok and he gets all the help he needs..they might even suggest care home. Hugs to you and your mum.xx

 

[Amy in the US]

@xxKatwhixx, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad you sought medical help and hope that you get more information quickly. None of us like having our PWDs (persons with dementia) in hospital but sometimes you need the care.

Some very good advice above. To emphasize a few points:

Definitely contact the PALS team.

Tell everyone loud and often that he had a failed discharge, and you don't want another one.

Refuse for him to be discharged home. Get a discharge to an assessment bed, a rehabilitation facility, a respite bed, anywhere but home. You need information, an OT assessment of the house, and necessary supplies and equipment at the house. You need continence supplies. You likely need a carer package. You need the carers assessment for your mother and the needs assessment for your father. You get the idea.

Don't let them fob you off! Advocate not only for your father's medical needs, but also your mum's needs as a carer.

Hospital stays can be very stressful. I am sorry about this difficult and tiring situation and wish you all the best. When you have the time and energy and if you are so inclined, please keep us posted. Best wishes.

 

[xxKatwhixx]

Good evening all,
Dad is still in hospital, they are giving him antibiotics and have got his temperature under control. He seemed a bit better today, but he still can't stand on his own or walk at all now, and he is still not eating, or controlling his bladder/bowels.
He is slightly more responsive if you ask him something , I asked him what he'd like for his lunch at the hospital today "soup or chicken pie dad?" he looked at me and replied "where is your dog?" me : "Lola is at home dad" dad: " aren't you bringing her down?" . Then he looked back down at the floor and refused to eat anything. I have no idea what he was thinking about, but he used to love walking my dog before he started showing signs of dementia and stopped going out.
Mum has told them at the hospital that unless dad is mobile, she can't cope with him at home, one of the doctors seemed a bit shocked that he was still living at home without any sort of care package.
Thank you all so much for your advice and concern, I am passing it all on to mum and I will update you when things change. x

 

[Toluela]

My husband has frontal temporal dementia ,You must get social services involved you are entitled to a care package were you could get a carer in and your Mum could have a break and at least get out for the day ,it is means tested your Mum may have to pay towards your Dad' s care but it is worth it because it has kept me sane ,because like you said your Mum is looking after a toddler ,I feel like this in my circumstance.Also your Mum is entitled to council tax reduction .Hope this helps,I feel for you.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Toluela
welcome to posting on TP
I agree it's always sensible to have an assessment of care needs from Social Services
though the spouse should not have to pay anything towards a wife/husband's care - the financial assessment is on ONLY the person's income and assets and half any joint assets (not the marital home, of course), and the Local Authority should only take a contribution that the person can afford to pay
agree too, about the Council Tax reduction - after Attendance Allowance is in place
hope you'll keep posting