Hi, I'm new to this...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Michele, Oct 6, 2007.

  1. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007

    My name is Michele, and I have just signed up to this.

    The reason I signed up is because earlier this year my Mum was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's. It was very hard to get her to see the doctor, but myself and my sister got her there.

    Over a year ago my Dad was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and unfortunelty he passed away 5 weeks ago.

    Obviously, my Mum is finding this time very hard and she seems to be going down hill. We have noticed since my Dad died that she has started to get locked into situations in her mind and after about an hour it all gets ok again. She told me the other day that she was worried because she couldn't remember what she had for tea the night before.

    She is on tablets, but doesn't get seen by a doctor or anyone. Both myself and my sister and going to try and get her to the doctors.

    I just find all this really hard. I feel guilty when I can't be with her. I worry about so much, and all this is so new to me. I love her more than words can say. I just don't know what to do.

    Sorry, I just need to talk to someone.


    Michele xx
  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Registered User

    Feb 12, 2007
    Welcome Michele and condolences on the loss of your father. I'm not much good at giving advice but I'm sure someone else will come along who can be of some help to you.
  3. xx.lauren.xx

    xx.lauren.xx Registered User

    Sep 22, 2007

    :D hiya
    welcome to talking point, so sorry to hear about your situation - there is no need to apologise we have all been through very similar situations and know how worrying it is. However, you clearly make your mum very happy and just carrying on the way you are, helping her with little things will make a big difference to how she feels im sure. I cant offer much advice as im still at school so my mum does most of the caring for my uncle but i know that just seeing him or giving him a phonecall brightens his day, laughing at daft things and helping him out with various little things seems to make him smile. Keep us all updated and come on whenever you want to talk, there is always someone listening out.
    Keep smiling and good luck
    lots of luv
    lauren xx
  4. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007

    Hi lauren,

    Thanks for your reply. You have made me smile, which is good. I do have a laugh with my Mum about things and she even tells me that she is completely barmey which makes her laugh even more.

    Thank you.

    Take care.

  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Michele,
    Welcome to TP.
    So sorry about your dad's death. I think this will have caused a decline in your mum; the grief, the change in routine, the lack of your dad being there to mask some of mum's symptoms.

    You say mum is on medication- is this for the alzheimers? Is she taking the medication correctly? Just wondered if this might have become a problem.

    Advice? Continue as you are. Make the most of every moment that you can with your mum. Take lots of photographs. Read the advice sheets from the AS - make yourself aware of what help will be available when you need it in the future. Keep coming on TP - someone will be able to answer your questions - there is always someone who has walked the path ahead of you.

    Love Helen
  6. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    Hi Amy,

    Thanks for your reply.

    Yes the medication is for Alzheimer's. I am going to check tomorrow that she is still taking the tablets properly.

    I am really glad that I have found this site, and yes I will research it more.


  7. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    Hi Helen,

    Thanks for your reply.

    Yes the medication is for Alzheimer's. I am going to check tomorrow that she is still taking the tablets properly.

    I am really glad that I have found this site, and yes I will research it more.


  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Michelle.

    Please accept my condolences on the death of your father.

    If your mother has Alzheimers, it might be very difficult for her to remember to take her tablets. Also it might be difficult to remember if she has taken her tablets, and she could take another dose.

    This could happen even more so, as she is im mourning for your father. As well as the grief, it could add to her confusion.

    I suggeat you contact her GP and make an appointment. Tell your mother you are worried about her, if she doesn`t want to go. If you can`t get her to see her GP, try to make an appointment to go yourself, as as next of kin, I`m sure you will be able to discuss your worries.

    You could also phone the AS Helpline tel. 0845 300 0336. Mon-Fri. 8.30 a.m. -6.30 p.m.

    Please let us know how you get on.

    Take care

    Love xx
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Michele, welcome to TP. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You must all be grieving, and it must be so difficult for your mum to come to terms with.

    Does she live alone now? If so, she's possible suffering from depression and loneliness, which will be emphasising the symptoms of dementia. I think you need to get her to see a doctor as soon as possible. If she is on Alzheimer's medication, she should be being monitored by a consultant. I think you or your sister need to go with her to see the doctor and find out just what the situation is. She also needs a referral to Social Services to see what help is available for her -- and you. You should ask for a carer's assessment.

    Try not to worry. You must be upset at losing your father, and this added responsibility is bound to be a bit scary. But there is help out there, and lots of support on TP. Just post whenever you want to, and ask anything you need to know.

    There are a lot of factsheets available which might help you, just click the button at the top left of the forum page.

    Good luck,
  10. nemesisis

    nemesisis Registered User

    May 25, 2006

    just read your post and so sorry

    does your mum have a cpn assigned to her if she is is on alzheimer's medication she should have. when mum was diagnosed she was the only person on my side she was such a support to me she argued with social services about the support they were giving mum and got them to change it she insisted that they visit three times a day when they wanted to only come once and (bless) when mum had her second fall and broke her hip this time she has been a great support to me helping me to find respite/residential care for mum

    so if it is of any help to you find out your mums cpn they are there to look after you and your mum not like social services
  11. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hello Michele,
    Welcome to TP. I am also sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I can well imagine how hard this all is and especially to your mum. You have received good advice here and I would just like to wish you well and hope that your able to get support for mum to make her life easier. I am sure that you will get a lot of support here. Take Care Taffy. :)
  12. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Hi Michele

    (((hugs))) what a time you are having off it at the moment.

    You both must feel so down at the moment. Grief will really be affecting your MUm as she may be forgetting for a few minutes at a time what has happened and receive it all afresh again.

    If you can get her help and get her to the doctors it may help. You may even find that the GP will make a house call if you explain the situation to him and be able to help put steps in motion for more help.


  13. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    Thank you everyone. It is so nice to know that you all care and understand.
    I'm going to see Mum this morning and I will have a chat with her about seeing the doctor.
    I will let you know how I get on.
    Thank you.
    Michele x
  14. Devonmaid

    Devonmaid Registered User

    Sep 23, 2007
    Dartmoor Devon
    Hello Michele, sorry that I cant add anything to what has already been said but just wanted to say that I am sorry for your situation . There is help out there and I am sure that like me ( new member also ) you will find lots of support and very good info on this site , keep your chin up !
    Love Kate
  15. jes58

    jes58 Registered User

    Aug 27, 2007

    Hello, Michelle

    I'm so sorry to read about your mum. It must be really hard so soon after losing your Father to motor neurone disease to have your mum suffering from alzheimers.

    I only joined a few months ago and read talking point whenever I can. Believe me, until I joined I thought my family were alone. I can't talk about my feelings at work because my boss has very little sympathy and if caught talking to a colleague i'm made to feel stupid.

    Just keep reading - it really does help

    jes 58 x
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear jes,
    I`m sorry you have such an insensitive boss.

    You are welcome to talk your heart out on TP. No-one will think you`re stupid as everyone understands what you`re going through.

    Post as often as you like, don`t just read. You`ll be well supported, I can promise you.

    Love xx
  17. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    North East
    Hi Michelle

    So sorry to hear about your Dad - sometimes it's hard to grieve, when you're so busy worrying about another parent with AD.

    I was in the same situation a couple of years ago - we knew Mum had AD, but didn't realise how bad until Dad died.

    You can ask anything here, as (sadly), someone will have had a similar experience and will be able to offer advice or point you in the right direction.

    Take care

  18. Laylabud

    Laylabud Registered User

    Sep 7, 2007

    Hi Michelle

    Welcome to TP, like yourself and Jes58 have said i have only just joined and it has helped to have so many people offering support and advice.
    Iam so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing it is very hard to come to tems with and now you have the worry over your Mum's declining health.
    I cannot offer anymore advice than already given but just be yourself around her and make the most and savour all of the good times you have together, as time goes on these will become less.
    In the situation you find yourself in you do think you are alone but your not.
    When you read some of the topics on this forum you will relate to them and most will have you in floods of tears.
    If you need any help or advice or just use the forum as a sounding board then i am sure you will get the comfort, help and advice you need as most people on here have been through what we are going through or have been there already and have come out the otherside.

    Take care and very best wishes to you and your family

  19. mazzer

    mazzer Registered User

    Oct 3, 2007
    Hi Michelle,

    So sorry for your loss (my Dad died last year and it still hurts every single day) My Mum is also early stages Alzheimers - and life can get very interesting.;)

    I have virtually moved in with Mum as I am in a position to do this and I know she feels safer, - not everyone has that luxury, BUT whatever time you get with Mum and when you are down put on a CD and dance as much as you are able - My mum really likes this - it does depend on their mobility, but music I am convinced lifts the spirits -

    Take lots of photos, if you can get her out in the fresh air then do, I try to make every day special as I know beyond a doubt that blacker days are coming so live for now a little bit of what you fancy does you good.


  20. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    that is so true as my father died in Jan 02 and mum was told she had AZ in Jan 03 what a decline mum had , that we where told she was in the late stages of AZ so given medication for late stages , when dad was alive it surly did mask mum's symptoms

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