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Hi, I have a problem


Registered User
Jun 9, 2015
Hi all,

As I sit here and type this, my elderly neighbour is sat in the living room muttering to herself in Italian....

I have an elderly lady neighbour who lives with her son, she's Italian but has lived over here for over 50 years and still cannot speak english apart from a few words and phrases. Her son is about 45 and has learning difficulty, he isn't a stupid person just has difficulty speaking and reading/writing.

The son has a job cleaning so works evenings, and once he's away his mother comes to our house in a state of distress, we offer tea and sympathy, but draw the line at calling the police to take care of the ghosts in her house, which is one of the many reasons why she comes to our house. It gets worse when she starts telling us she's spoken with our dead son who died from cancer 12 years ago aged 11. Upsetting both myself and my wife.

We can only understand fragments, but it seems she gets frightened being in the house alone, the son knows this but needs the job. Her doctor is on holiday apparently, and has been for the past few weeks and she won't see any other doctor.

This is happening more and more, we are not sleeping properly as we have to wait for the son to finish work and collect her.

How can we get this lady the help she obviously needs?




Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
Brixham Devon
Hi and welcome to TP.

It sounds as though you and your wife are lovely people with big hearts; However, you have gone above and beyond being good neighbours. This problem is obviously having a negative impact on yourselves; the late nights, the references to your late Son is all too much.

Please phone your local Adult Services and mention that your neighbour is very confused and vulnerable (she is). Not even family members are forced to be carers-this is what you have become by default.

Take care

Lyn T XX