Hi i am Lizzy and my dad is awaiting diagnosis of alzheimers

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by lizzywizzy, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. lizzywizzy

    lizzywizzy Registered User

    Nov 5, 2008
    2
    uk
    Hi, I have been reading some of the messages and some jokes, i think this looks a really great website. Please forgive me for rambling, never written one of these thread thingys and i cant stop crying, for my real dad. My best mate came with chocs and tissues but as she said she hasnt been through this. I am really devastated, been to my dads again today and he's more confused than yesturday, I dont know how to help, what to say etc, I am taking him to drs tomorrow, my mum seems to be coping, but we havent been close for years but this seems to be bringing us together. I have two lads, 12 years and 14years the younger one is really close to his grandpa, what do i say, i lots of questions and dont know who to talk to. Thanks for listening. Lizzy
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,101
    Kent
    Talk here Lizzy and ask your questions. There will always be someone to listen, and answer if it`s at all possible.

    If your father is still awaiting diagnosis it`s early days for you and you are probably still in shock. Give yourself time. It`s a frightening future but all you can really do is learn as much as you can and support your parents.

    There are lots of us on Talking Point who will try to support you.

    Love xx
     
  3. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Hello Lizzy

    Welcome to Talking Point (TP).

    This is certainly the right place to bring your questions (& those of your boys) if we can help you & them understand the nature of what's going on with your Dad.
    There's a link here to a download form of a booklet called "The Milk's in the Oven", written in a straightforward, non-medical way for ordinary people & families who suddenly find themselves in the middle of this horrid situation. http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/Easy...ssetID=38632&type=full&servicetype=attachment

    There are lots of tear-stained keyboards here, & sometimes tears bring a little emotional relief when things are bad. We share anything & everything on TP, as you have probably seen.

    Your friend sounds really supportive, and yes it IS difficult for someone who hasn't had close contact with a loved one with Dementia to understand, but at least she's there for you now.

    How old is your Dad? Does he live alone at present?

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  4. mica123

    mica123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2008
    47
    england
    Hi Lizzie,I have been there,keen to get a diagnosis.Once it came,it was,whey hey,at last!then a few hours later it hit me like a brick.Mixed emotions to say the least,I wanted dad as i knew him,not as he was.Very selfish but a normal reaction.all i can offer is support,theres no answers.mica
     
  5. lizzywizzy

    lizzywizzy Registered User

    Nov 5, 2008
    2
    uk
    thanks for your replies

    my dad is just 80, has always been fit and well, apart from being a bit deaf, he lives with my mum, i have for a while thought it was his deafness that has made him not always understand what was being said, but now i realise it obviously wasnt and the more i have been up to support my mum i can see how confused he is. I took him for a blood test this morning and it was raining, after the test we went to asda and he was pushing the trolley, he asked me to cover the food in the trolley cos he didnt want it to get wet, so he is obviously getting mixed up messages. After spending the last few days in floods of tears adn reading lots of your messages of support to each other, I think this is such a great website, I feel that i am not alone, my hubby is trying to support me but it is all strange, scary and we arent sure what to say or do. His mum and dad are 6 months younger than my dad, his dad is still doing bits of work and came last night, I found myself comparing the such marked diffirence in them, they dont know yet, only my bestest mate and hubby know, suppose i need proper confirmation first before i feel i can tell anyone else. My mum seems to be coping, but she has always been the strong character in their relationship, though i do think she perhaps thinks if she lets her guard down she'll not stop crying. She said it was really bad yesturday afternoon, as my dad asked if she was staying for tea, she said that she lived there and he then said who are you, when she said its me Jessie, he burst in to tears and said he didnt know what was wrong with him, i had to stop myself crying at this and went to hug her but she touched my arm and walked into her bedroom as my dad was trying to put my shoes and coat on ready to go, I got him to sit down for a while and then mum came back and we got off. He seemed a bit more with it when he had something to eat when we got back, for a little while anyway, but i had to go to work for a meeting, fortunately i only work a few mornings a week. gonna go to bed now thanks for your support luv liz
     

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