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Hi I’m new

Kaylar2020

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
13
0
Just like to introduce myself to you all. My Mother has been diagnosed with Mixed Dementia last year 2019. My Mom abs I are struggling with the disease that I don’t know much about and have come here looking for answers and support.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,317
0
South coast
Hello @Kaylar2020 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

The Alzheimers Society has a list of publications and fact sheets that you might find helpful

Also, have a mooch around the site and feel free to join in the conversations, or start a thread if you wish to talk about something in particular
 

Kaylar2020

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
13
0
Thank you Canary. I’m struggling to navigate this site at the moment lol 😂 I’m a bit of a techno phobe
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,090
0
Hello @Kaylar2020 . Welcome from me too. It certainly can be a struggle but there will be lots of support and advice for you here, so don't feel lonely. You seem to have got the hang of posting, so you're off to a good start!
 

Kaylar2020

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
13
0
Thank you @lemonbalm big step for me to join. I have been in denial, anger, grief, anxiety, depression, acceptance and all the other rollercoaster emotions that go with this illness that I am doing my very best to care for
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,090
0
Well done for joining. I only joined after mum had moved into a care home and wish I'd joined before, when I was looking after her myself ! Lots of us out here to help you along.
 

Kaylar2020

Registered User
Nov 23, 2020
13
0
Is it true that someone with dementia their personality is highly magnified and can be childlike and tell lies. That’s my worry too when will I know when it’s time for a Care Home ?? Mom very good at putting in a show that she is ok at the moment
 
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lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,090
0
Well, I can tell you that my mum sometimes seems to be made out of fireworks (and nails!)! She's always been what we call "feisty" and that has certainly become magnified. I think she lashes out when she is confused and scared. Some of the social niceties that stop us behaving how we want to can disappear. However, there are also times when mum can be sweeter than she has ever been, almost as you say childlike. As for lies, the person with dementia will probably believe absolutely what they are saying and there is little point in arguing because you won't win and it will just cause upset. You learn to tell a lot of kind lies yourself.

Yes, a good show can be put on and we call that "hostess mode". This can be particularly frustrating when you are trying to convince other family members or health professionals that there is something wrong!

When is it time for a care home? In general, I would say when the person can't be kept safe at home any more, or if they are agitated or lonely when nobody is there. It depends on the person really. Several people have said that they chose a care home early on so that the person with dementia was able to enjoy the company and activities while they were able. Other members will be along with their thoughts. My little ramble won't have covered everything!

Do you have any help looking after your mum?
 
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Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,073
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome from me too @Kaylar2020

My dad didn't keep his old personality, which was rather controlling, but after a difficult time in the early stages while he was very angry (mainly frustrated at not being able to do things he used to be able to with his eyes closed) he became quite sweet and funny.

He always remained very stubborn though!

It's best not to worry about what might happen. Everyone with dementia is different.
 

silkiest

Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
198
0
Hi @Kaylar2020
lots of people with dementia can put on a show for a while, this is called "Hostess Mode", it can be quite convincing but very tiring for them, so each episode doesn't usually last long. My MIL can be very convincing for the first hour but then things slip a lot. This has been discussed on other threads - just put anything you want to know about in the search box at the top of the page and previous threads will come up.