Hi from a newbie


Registered User
May 21, 2008
Hi from a newbie,

My mum has vascular dementia caused by raised blood pressure, smoking, and heart problems. It's been a pretty tough couple of years all told. My brother died of lung cancer and as I lost my dad 11 years ago I am now the only one left. I have no aunties uncles or cousins but luckily I have two lovely children and a very caring husband. The dementia has been coming on for about the last 5 years but has now really tightened its grip. Although my mum is looking after herself reasonably well still I can tell that she is deteriorating rapidly. Sometimes in mid conversation her face changes - her eyes become blank and she cannot remember what it is that she has been talking about. If she is taken out of her comfort zone she becomes very confused and last Christmas did not recognise me on waking up at my house for a whole hour.

I find this forum helpful knowing that there are others out there just like me struggling to cope with this terrible disease. I find that my friends and my husband's family do not want to know about it preferring instead to bury their heads in the sand.

Thanks for listening.



Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hello Lisa and welcome to Talking Point.

As you will expect, what you describe will be familiar to many of us here - that doesn't make it any the less difficult of course.

I hope you find the forum one that helps you in any way it can, and that you return here whenever you want to.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Lisa, :)

I`m so pleased you have been helped by this Forum. You are one of many, and I include myself.

To be the only one left is hard. But I`m sure you will have realized how many members of the Forum are sole carers, even those who have sisters and brothers.

I hope Talking Point [TP] will be a source of support for you.

Love xx


Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Hello LisaJ

Although my mum is looking after herself reasonably well still I can tell that she is deteriorating rapidly
I was wondering Lisa, whether you are the carer of your mum and whether you feel you are getting to a time for some outside input now that mum is deteriorating rapidly as you mention above?

It must be so hard for you having experienced the loss of so many of your family and I hope you find some of the support you need on Talking Point.

Love and best wishes



Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Dear Lisa
Well done for finding TP. It is a wonderful support. It is very isolating when caring for a parent with dementia. Just when you need support, sometimes it just isnt there. Not only do you have to care for mums needs and look out for her, but you have such a lot to come to terms with yourself. As well as looking after a family and everything else that we are meant to be able to do. I am sure you will make lots of friends on TP
take care