Hi from a new person to the forum

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by irene, Dec 2, 2006.

  1. irene

    irene Registered User

    Dec 2, 2006
    1
    Lowestoft
    Well where to start im all alone and have enthasemia my husband my carer my lifeline was diagnosed with early stages of alzheimers last October, we moved from our small village into town and have kind of been left to it, I get no help from no one i went to hospital for a check up my consultent wrote a letter to my gp asking him to try getting social services involved, my gp wrote back telling us we should get reletives or carers to get in touch well if i had any here or had a carer i would of done so.
    I have tried getting in touch with social services but trying to get them out to do an assesment is like getting blood out of a stone im lost i just dont know what to do John is getting worse i dont know how to cope with this, the memory clinic as never got in touch since we have moved and well i dont even want to visit my drs because of bad patient relationship they took John off there list by the way for forgetting his appointment whilst i was in hospital with pneumonia.
    If someone can just give me some guidence on how or what to do to get help it would be very much appreciated best wishes Irene x
     
  2. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hello Irene

    Welcome to TP. I am sure you will find lots of help and support here.

    Unfortunately you have to acquire a thick skin when dealing with Social Services, I'm afraid its a case of he who shouts loudest gets the action. Whilst you continue to cope, they will let you.

    I would telephone Social Services and ask for a Social Worker to call on you and your husband urgently because you are in desperate need of help and assistance. Make sure you note the date, time and who you spoke to, if they dont appear within a week, call again, and keep calling until you get somebody out to you. Have it clear in your mind what you want of them, and make your requests e.g. home carers, respite care (if you feel you need it), meals on wheels, day care centre etc. etc.

    I would also telephone your Local Health Board regarding the allocation of a GP to your husband. Explain that the previous GP took your husband off their list due to a missed appointment, also pointing out that he forgot the appointment because he has Alzheimers, and you were in hospital, therefore unable to remind him. Poor show on the part of the GP to be so heartless.

    Chase the Memory Clinic, they may well have lost your new address, again ask for a Community Psychiatric Nurse to call and do a further assessment on your husband.

    I think this is probably enough to be going along with. As I said previously there are more experienced friends on TP than me, and I'm sure you will hear from them soon. They may well point you in the direction of some useful Fact Sheets on this site.

    Keep in touch Irene, there is always somebody around to listen and offer help and support.

    Best wishes
    Cate
     
  3. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Irene

    Welcome to tp............it sounds as though your stuck in a nightmare situation, but i agree with Cate.........change doctors and don't let social services off so lightly.........you'll find you have to fight for every inch with SS so don't leave it too long, as it takes a while for them to get you and your husband in the 'system' but you will eventually get sorted.

    As Cate says, there is always someone hear to listen and to help if possible.

    Love Alex x
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #4 Margarita, Dec 3, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2006
    I must say that I had the same problem, as you in getting social services to come out and do an assessment, it does get very stress full in getting someone to listen , but they do in the end. cate has given some really good advice ,

    Yes, the memory clinic is like that, they just let to get on with it after being diagnosed



    Also try to find out where your local AZ centre is, as they maybe of help also.

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Your_local_branch/index.htm

    Your doctor sounds like he need a kick up the ass , what a very unhelpful doctor , if you had the energy you could complain about it to the receptionist in a positive way , Just that as you must be feeling low with all the pursue, its stopping you expressing it rightly maybe ?

    I got a letter saying to me that I had miss 5 appointment , I did not know that they can legally take me of , because of that. I explain to them that as I care for my mother , that I forget about me , so I told them I got a diary , would not forget my next appointment .

    You should really go back and explain this to the receptionist, in why your husband miss his appointments. Tell them you are at your wits end, and need help ( Also tell that to social services ). have you found another doctor for your husband ?
     
  5. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Doctors

    They can strike you off their list without giving any reason at all!

    Lila
     
  6. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    I cannot believe the difference in attitude by SS in different parts of the country. So far I have been royally treated by SS who keep in touch and are very considerate. I mentioned to the person who runs the day centre Mary attends that I thought that she may benefit from another day in the centre. The next day SS contacted me to say that they were seeing what was available and within 2 weeks it was all arranged. When I expressed my gratitude the comment was "Every year we can keep Mary in her home by providing day centres and respite care we save the Local Authority £20,000".

    It is obvious that any SW who does not provide prompt and efficient help is not only doing a disservice to the carer but costing the council tax payer a fortune.

    If anyone is not getting the service they are entiled to I would suggest that they contact their MP, which is often effective.

    Dick
     
  7. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Well I know where I'm moving to :) You want to careful, Dick - you're going to have a flood of incomers.

    Jennifer
     
  8. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    help.

    have sent you a private message. hope u can get it. first step - get your GP out to see u ! YOU need a visit . take it from there . good luck...
     
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #9 Margarita, Dec 3, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2006
    Dick

    I have been offered a 3-bedroom house, am not moving until after Christmas. It has a toilet downstairs, the bathroom is upstairs with another toilet , yes they are going to have to do some adoption to the bathroom and stairs and mum will still sleep in front room, but I can use a wheelchair now to wheel her out front door and it has a garden


    I gave up hope of getting a house that is suitable for mum and went back to work , so I did not have to see my mother struggle up down those stirs, its been so depressing , now when I gave up hope after 2 years they offer me a house , so I have handed in my notice at work , because now I can care for my mother in a decent house, and the stress of working caring , moving is going to be to much for me , so I handed in my notice


    For the past year . I have been stressing to the SW , the problem I was having with mum and getting her up 24 flights of communal stairs to my flat , I keep telling her that in the long team mum is going to be house bound and that I wanted an OT to come out , oh she would not listen .

    Now that I have been offered a house, the cheek of the SW tell me that when I go to sigh paper work on Friday, the OT will be go along with me to see if the house is suitable for mum in the long team, and that see should of done that before .



    The only way I shall not take this house, is if the OT can grantee me in a written letter a 4-bedroom ground floor flat / house. That is not going to happen I know. So I am taking that house no matter what OT says, they can just a stair lift in house when my mother can not walk

    and I am going to tell them this OT, SW
    Thanks Dick
     
  10. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Good! Good luck with the move.

    Lila

     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Well done Margarita! Hope the new house is all you hope for. If it is, tell SS where to go!. Good luck with the move.
     
  12. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    HI Margarita

    Be calm, be strong and be resolute. Good luck.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Well I left work and did not have to do a week notice , I told them all my problems in my notice on Saturday and they where surprise to see me today , as all I was worried about that if I did not do my week notice they would not re employed me, if I was to ever want to go back.
    They reassured me that all would be ok if I ever wanted to go back :)


    But at lest I gave it a go, and yes sod the system thanks all , so another chapter closes and another door open , talk about revaluing my future angina:rolleyes: , just what I need to read Be calm, be strong and be resolute.

    emmm what does resolute mean please :eek: :eek:
     
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Determined, stubborn even. Not moving an inch from what you want to do!!!

    Glad M&S have been so caring. I'll go and spend some more money with them tomorrow!!
     
  15. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    support

    Irene , did u see your gp ? I am astounded u have received so few messages of advice or support. have any moderators been in touch ? try to keep going , all is not lost ! have u managed 2 work out accessing private messages. best wishes.
     
  16. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Irene and Bebee,
    Firstly can I repeat the welcome to TP that so many members have already given you Irene, and there has been so much good advice on contacting GP's and social workers. The Alzheimers Society helpline may also be able to give you some support over the telephone. Have you checked to see if you have a local branch?

    Unfortunately, we volunteer moderators flounder around as much in the dark as anyone else; if we feel that we have something to offer based on our own experience of dementia, then we offer it; but at times we are simply in awe of the advice and support that everyone else is able to give. TP is owned by all of us, we are all equally responsible for making new members feel welcome and supported.

    It's good to see you back on line Bebee.
    Love Helen
     
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Irean
    seem like we both use this advice , when we talk to SW and the rest of them




    Thanks skye Determined, stubborn even. Not moving an inch from what you want to do!!!

    Irean Please tell us how you get on
     

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