My suggestion dial 111, at least you will get a person to talk to who has access to a broad range of NHS services

 

I would phone an ambulance now. I dialled 111 when my mum was ill in August and I spent 2 x 45 minutes asking questions off a list. In the meantime, she had a TIA and things got a lot worse. If she's in this much pain and refusing food and drink, it's best that she is taken into hospital where they can take care of her health needs. She is clearly not going to do what you want her to do (not her fault, or yours, obviously - it's just how dementia is sometimes) and the health professionals have ways of dealing with patients like this. You and she need help. Get on the phone now!

 

I agree with nellbelles. Call 111. You will have to answer a lot of questions, that's how they work. Make some notes before you ring so that you'll have the answers to most of their questions to hand. Good luck!

 

Just reading these posts has helped me calm down and stop the tears of frustration.
I have a stinking cold and thought I’d convince oh to go for a nap then so could I. As we left living room a familiar smell hit me. I went into toilet but looked ok until I put lid down. Oh had emptied his bowels onto the lid then put it up. I swear he has the bowels of a horse. This is the second time in 3 days I’ve had the mess to clean up. The last one he transferred it from underpants to kitchen sink. He cleans his hands with hankies and the hides them. Today took me an hour as I had to remove toilet seat. Somehow the toilet was also blocked.
It took me 5 goes to get onto this site as I forgot password. More tears. I don’t cry often or turn to drink but today it hit me.
Not a pleasant post to read but it has calmed me down.

 

Oh my dearest, I am so sorry about this. This poo business is so often the last straw isn't it. Why is it all so perverse? I am so sorry. Well done on getting through it. That was a hard time. I do hope this cold of yours clears up quickly. Kindred.

 

Sadly I was in a similar situation in February this year. I had looked after both mum and dad for three years. Mum had advanced alzheimers and dad had moderate mixed dementia. Mum had to go into a home the day before he died. No one has ever told her her husband has died and on the one occasion when she mentioned him I said he had just gone for a newspaper. Mum did not attend the funeral and I feel, for our family, it was the right decision. It may not be the right decision for other people, but only you can decide.

Sending you my best wishes at this awful time for you all.

 

I had a similar problem with OH peeing onto the lid, so now I always keep the lid up.
Another thing that might help is having a brightly coloured seat (red is the usual colour) as people with dementia often have trouble seeing white - it seems to sort of fade away, so if you have a white seat on a white toilet they often cant see it.

 

Social Services sorry abbreviations can be a nightmare

 

You are a marvel! Pineapple juice is what the midwives used to recommend putting in my baby's water when he was constipated. Brilliant idea - good job you had some in the fridge.