Hi and what a Brill site, which supports and support those with Dementia

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by caringforfran, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. caringforfran

    caringforfran New member

    Jun 12, 2019
    2
    I may be on the wrong support group, but my Good Lady of 20 years, sustained a traumatic brain injury 11 months ago and is slowly getting better. Northwick Park Hospital discharged her as plateaued and would not improve. Fran was then discharged to a local Dementia care home in Kent . Dignity and personal wellbeing, seems to, not to be an issue, as Fran has asked, many times to go to the toilet. The staff; keep saying; you have magic knickers on, you can "go". in your special pad. I am upset and cry everytime the staff say this.
    As Fran looks into my eyes and says "I do not want to do it". Fran's; care plans describes, her as double incontinent. I consider this as physical and also mental abuse ; inasmuch as the care home are implementing; She can **** and **** in her pants and they will sort you out,later, in order, of their timetable and not as your needs are.

    Thank you all in this group and all the lovely caring staff at the care home Fran is in. But I believe that Fran, has been; misdiagnosed; from the hospital and the local CCG.
    Even the; solicitor that I have recently engaged with., Stated; Fran; SHOULD NOT BE HERE.
    Hi Mark, can your organisation, sort out:

    When someone is deemed double incontinent from the care home; but asked the staff 20 + times to go to the toilet.

    As she is classed as doubly incontinent,I wish to give her the dignity,to be given the right to be taken to the toilet. Rather than soiling themselves.
    I am, In pain watching Fran suffer the indignity an seeing her face of embarrassment. To be blunt, the staff are suggestion, that she ****'s herself.
    Mark, my question and to others in this group. Is it; legally allowable, for a member of; staff to ignore a cry for help; to be immediately; respond to your toilet needs. I am so lost
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,023
    N Ireland
    Hello and welcome to the forum @caringforfran.

    That reads like a very distressing situation and I understand your feelings.

    I wonder if it would be worth talking to the manager at the facility, or, failing that, having a word with the Social Worker responsible for your case.
     
  3. Amelie5a

    Amelie5a Registered User

    Nov 5, 2014
    93
    Scotland
    " But I believe that Fran, has been; misdiagnosed; from the hospital and the local CCG.
    Even the; solicitor that I have recently engaged with., Stated; Fran; SHOULD NOT BE HERE."


    It sounds as if you have big questions about your Fran's care, diagnosis and her human rights.

    As this all started with a traumatic brain injury, have you tried talking with the helpline at Headway? Or maybe also the Helpline at Mind, the mental health charity.

    Their numbers are : /https://www.headway.org.uk/supporting-you/helpline/

    and https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/ NB The lines are not 24/7. They seem to be working hours, Monday to Friday.

    That's not to say that people here won't have thoughts on the specific question you asked - but calls to the other organisations might guide you on your bigger questions.
     
  4. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    566
    Female
    High Peak
    Definitely talk to the manager - the attitude of the staff is all wrong. They should be prompting people to go to the toilet not saying, 'do it in your pants'.

    It seems lazy but it's probably more about not enough staff, not enough time. I remember a time when potty training my kids when I almost wished them still in nappies! Having everything 'safely contained' is much less of a worry, you can change it at your convenience, it's less time-consuming than taking them to the toilet every half hour.

    Not a great analogy but you get my drift.

    Also, you say Fran is recovering after a TBI, so I agree the prompting/assistance is even more important. Perhaps the CH is more used to people with dementia who only deteriorate so it's possible the setting is unsuitable for her in many ways.

    I hope you find a solution that helps Fran and works for you too.
     

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