Hi ! A new member....

Nina

Registered User
Dec 24, 2007
1
Devon
Hello ! I'm Nina, and I am looking after my Dad. He has had Alzheimer's for over three years now.
We are both feeling our way really. Every day he teaches me something..... about myself and about the world; it is quite a voyage ! Sometimes sweet, smooth and very loving; sometimes stormy, scarey and frustrating. But never dull!
So far, I am SO lucky. WE are so lucky, for he is terribly sweet, kind, considerate and loving.
Like so many others of you, there are certainly times when it is very hard though. Then we both muddle our way through... sometimes successfully, sometimes not.... and then, as I have read from others, the hair shirt comes out - the full guilt thing. I hate those moments.
But as long as the majority of the time we muddle along well together, then I feel so grateful.
So lovely to get some feedback from all of you out there. So good to feel that YOU understand! We all need a friend ... thanks..
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Nina said:
Every day he teaches me something..... about myself and about the world;
Hello Nina and welcome to TP,

I also feel that through this journey I take with mum that I have learnt so much about alot of things. I hope you and your dad continue along together PEACEFULLY! Best Wishes, Taffy.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,074
Kent
What an uplifting Post Nina. :)

There is so much anger around from both carers and the cared for, it is a pleasure to see your very positive attitude.

I hope you are your father go from strength to strength on your journey.

Love xx
 

BeverleyY

Registered User
Jan 29, 2008
716
Ashford, Kent
Hi Nina

Welcome.

I look after my Dad. He started hving problems about 5ish years ago, and him and Mum came to live with me. Sadly, we lost my Mum 4 weeks ago today, so I am now the sole carer for my Dad (well.. me, my husband and our 2 children).

Luckily, my Dad is sweet, mild and considerate. There have only been a couple of times that I have seen this illness bring a stubborn demon out.

You find there are ways to ask, persuade and cajole them into doing things without pressurising them. If I need Dad to do something, I will think beforehand how to ask him. As you say, it's all a journey!

Best wishes.

Beverley x
 

fiona4

Registered User
Feb 6, 2008
7
Southampton
Hi Nina
I'm new too, I just wish I had found this sooner. It is good to hear things are going OK for you. It certainly doesn't seem to be all bad at all with dementia, my Mother and I became close only because of her Alzheimers Disease and in many ways she is much nicer with it than before. She seems to have been left with the nicer, sweeter parts of her personality. That's not to say that times haven't been challenging but we have also had fun along the way too.
Love
Fiona
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Every day he teaches me something..... about myself and about the world; it is quite a voyage ! Sometimes sweet, smooth and very loving; sometimes stormy, scarey and frustrating. But never dull!
So relate to that . Welcome to TP :)
 

CraigC

Registered User
Mar 21, 2003
6,632
London
Hi Nina

We are both feeling our way really. Every day he teaches me something..... about myself and about the world; it is quite a voyage ! Sometimes sweet, smooth and very loving; sometimes stormy, scarey and frustrating. But never dull!
Wow, that was refreshing to read on a dull grey morning :)
I feel the same with dad, it has not been easy but a journey that has tought me a lot about the world and him. It feel like a privilege sometimes.

Hope you find a lot of good friends and support out here!
Welcome
Craig
 

Kit Kat

Registered User
Feb 10, 2008
16
Manchester
Hi Nina!

Welcome to TP. I only joined a couple of days ago and already I am identifying with people.

It was really good to read your upbeat and positive post.

My Mum was diagnosed with Alzeimers around 12months ago and my Dad is her Primary Carer. Since Mum was diagnosed I have noticed lots of changes in her and each day she gets worse a little bit more.

An change in her has occured which I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced. She has developed quite a cheeky sense of humour. Some days she has me roaring with laughter! :D

Pre-diagnosis Mum was lively, positive and great company. I do miss her so much - even though she is on this planet, she is in a world of her own. I am "making new memories" with Mum and I hope these times of laughter will carry me through.

Keep on keeping on!
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
WE are so lucky, for he is terribly sweet, kind, considerate and loving
Welcome to TP - what a refreshing lovely first post!

I feel as you do - my husband is also still sweet kind and considerate. (MOST OF THE TIME). We are very lucky as some have a more difficult time with aggression etc. That does not mean life is easy as there are some very bad moments - but then we have TP to air our thoughts and feelings.

Thanks for sharing your situation with us. Jan
 

christine_batch

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
3,388
Buckinghamshire
Dear Kit kat, Nina and fiona,
Welcome to Talking Point. It is so nice to read what you have observed because of this herendous illness.
It is a hard journey to go down but you three have come across as friends already.

As for a Mother showing a cheeky side, thank you for that, it reminded me amongst my memories of when my husband was diagnoised at 58 (he is now 61 and in last stage in E.M.I. Unit) my quite shy husband, turned into a cheeky chappie not with me, he had forgotten I was his wife, but with the lovely Carers who use to come in and also our Case Worker.

Valentine Day - going out with Carer and choosing box of chocolates and flowers, coming in and I used to think they were for me, naturally- no for the Carer !!!!

So ladies as we go down this path, there are memories to be made good or bad.

I wish you all the very best.
Christine