Hi ! A new member....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Nina, Feb 13, 2008.

  1. Nina

    Nina Registered User

    Dec 24, 2007
    Hello ! I'm Nina, and I am looking after my Dad. He has had Alzheimer's for over three years now.
    We are both feeling our way really. Every day he teaches me something..... about myself and about the world; it is quite a voyage ! Sometimes sweet, smooth and very loving; sometimes stormy, scarey and frustrating. But never dull!
    So far, I am SO lucky. WE are so lucky, for he is terribly sweet, kind, considerate and loving.
    Like so many others of you, there are certainly times when it is very hard though. Then we both muddle our way through... sometimes successfully, sometimes not.... and then, as I have read from others, the hair shirt comes out - the full guilt thing. I hate those moments.
    But as long as the majority of the time we muddle along well together, then I feel so grateful.
    So lovely to get some feedback from all of you out there. So good to feel that YOU understand! We all need a friend ... thanks..
  2. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hello Nina and welcome to TP,

    I also feel that through this journey I take with mum that I have learnt so much about alot of things. I hope you and your dad continue along together PEACEFULLY! Best Wishes, Taffy.
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    What an uplifting Post Nina. :)

    There is so much anger around from both carers and the cared for, it is a pleasure to see your very positive attitude.

    I hope you are your father go from strength to strength on your journey.

    Love xx
  4. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    Ashford, Kent
    Hi Nina


    I look after my Dad. He started hving problems about 5ish years ago, and him and Mum came to live with me. Sadly, we lost my Mum 4 weeks ago today, so I am now the sole carer for my Dad (well.. me, my husband and our 2 children).

    Luckily, my Dad is sweet, mild and considerate. There have only been a couple of times that I have seen this illness bring a stubborn demon out.

    You find there are ways to ask, persuade and cajole them into doing things without pressurising them. If I need Dad to do something, I will think beforehand how to ask him. As you say, it's all a journey!

    Best wishes.

    Beverley x
  5. fiona4

    fiona4 Registered User

    Feb 6, 2008
    Hi Nina
    I'm new too, I just wish I had found this sooner. It is good to hear things are going OK for you. It certainly doesn't seem to be all bad at all with dementia, my Mother and I became close only because of her Alzheimers Disease and in many ways she is much nicer with it than before. She seems to have been left with the nicer, sweeter parts of her personality. That's not to say that times haven't been challenging but we have also had fun along the way too.
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    So relate to that . Welcome to TP :)
  7. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    Hi Nina

    Wow, that was refreshing to read on a dull grey morning :)
    I feel the same with dad, it has not been easy but a journey that has tought me a lot about the world and him. It feel like a privilege sometimes.

    Hope you find a lot of good friends and support out here!
  8. Kit Kat

    Kit Kat Registered User

    Feb 10, 2008
    Hi Nina!

    Welcome to TP. I only joined a couple of days ago and already I am identifying with people.

    It was really good to read your upbeat and positive post.

    My Mum was diagnosed with Alzeimers around 12months ago and my Dad is her Primary Carer. Since Mum was diagnosed I have noticed lots of changes in her and each day she gets worse a little bit more.

    An change in her has occured which I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced. She has developed quite a cheeky sense of humour. Some days she has me roaring with laughter! :D

    Pre-diagnosis Mum was lively, positive and great company. I do miss her so much - even though she is on this planet, she is in a world of her own. I am "making new memories" with Mum and I hope these times of laughter will carry me through.

    Keep on keeping on!
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Welcome to TP - what a refreshing lovely first post!

    I feel as you do - my husband is also still sweet kind and considerate. (MOST OF THE TIME). We are very lucky as some have a more difficult time with aggression etc. That does not mean life is easy as there are some very bad moments - but then we have TP to air our thoughts and feelings.

    Thanks for sharing your situation with us. Jan
  10. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Kit kat, Nina and fiona,
    Welcome to Talking Point. It is so nice to read what you have observed because of this herendous illness.
    It is a hard journey to go down but you three have come across as friends already.

    As for a Mother showing a cheeky side, thank you for that, it reminded me amongst my memories of when my husband was diagnoised at 58 (he is now 61 and in last stage in E.M.I. Unit) my quite shy husband, turned into a cheeky chappie not with me, he had forgotten I was his wife, but with the lovely Carers who use to come in and also our Case Worker.

    Valentine Day - going out with Carer and choosing box of chocolates and flowers, coming in and I used to think they were for me, naturally- no for the Carer !!!!

    So ladies as we go down this path, there are memories to be made good or bad.

    I wish you all the very best.

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