Hey all... Lots happened..


Registered User
Nov 20, 2006
Well, not been here for a while, life has been incredibly busy, new baby and helping my Mum with Dad. Been a rollercoaster for sure. So what's happened..

Well Lucy is now 6 months old... And yet to sleep through the night:eek:

Dad... well, he got very poorly a few times early summer, he would get massively dehydrated and become completely unresponsive. Mum was having to heave him around out of chairs and stuff - around this time he become doubly incontinent too. Twice we called 999 for him, first time he was in hospital for a week and perked up amzingly once on a drip.
Next time was a couple of weeks later - wouldn't eat/drink Mum got very low at this point. Dr came out and called 999, air ambulance turned up:eek: Normal ambulance took him to Hospital for another weeks stay.. they put it done to a manifestation of his dementia..
( On the plus side My eldest daughter and all her classmates got to look round an air ambulance - they landed on her school field :D )

Once home the cycle started again ( Should mention Mum had carers coming in every morning at this point, SS came good after a rocky start ) Mum and the carer got Dad in the car and to the Day centre at the Mental Hospital. They were shocked and kept him in. Dr called Mum asking about resusitation - he was that bad

They suspected a stomach ulser or the like as they found blood in his toilet. Started treating for that and anemia. The difference in Dad after a couple of weeks was amazing, going from not expecting him to live to him coming home again!

Well he came home after a few weeks, Mum continued caring ( Getting tough due to the incontenence ) but she got into a routine and Dad was actually doing pretty well. Cheery enough and responding to us well. Mum knew it was only a matter of time before he would need to go into a NH but wanted to keep him home through the summer. All was going too well though - he seemed a little more agitated for a week leading upto a weekend, then after a trip into Asda he tripped out again - Mum called me ( I am at work 50 miles away ) saying she was in trouble - he didn't know her and refused point blank to get in the car..

Fortunatley one of the members of staff and a very kind passer by managed to get Dad in the car ( there are some great people out there!) and she drove straight to the Mental hospital where I met her. Very unpleasant afternoon - Dad threatening to kill us, himself and the hate in his eyes was very scarey. They gave him some lorazepam which eventually seemed to calm him down

Mum took him home but her confidence was battered again. Something had changed in Dad too - it went back to no sleep, and moving stuff around endlessly - also started breaking anything Mum showed an interest in. Managed another couple of weeks before the Centre took him in again. they have tried pretty much everything to settle him down but have ended up taking alot of the drugs away. He has been pretty challenging for them but they have dealt with everything he has sent there way. ( They are waiting for him to go before they repair all the door handes! :eek: )

They basically told Mum he was no longer suitable to be cared for at home ( I think we knowe that already ). He has continued to deteriorate Mentally but physically is not too bad. After taking their advice it seems there are only 3 homes in the area that could cater for his needs - one fairly close ( 20 min drive ) has accepted him.

Heard today that PCT funding has been approved such is the level of care he needs now and they are looking at moving him to the home soon now ( at least we don't have to go through the financial assessment lark again) Mum called earlier in tears as although she knew the time was coming it has still been a shock to the system.

So we move ito a new phase... been alot less stressful at home - not waiting for the call to say Dad has gone to bed - or she needs my help but it's been tough for Mum. We have her round a couple of nights a week but there is a limit to the amount of time you can give. Sister is working overseas until Christmas which hasn't helped.

Hopefully he will settle in the NH OK, seems pretty nice from our visit a few weeks ago ( Plenty of stuff for him to re-arrange :D )

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Can't believe it's 2 years since I posted this




Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
Hi Scott
Good to hear from you again.
What a busy time you have been having it must have been a nightmare.

It sounds like you have been lucky to find a home not to far away so I do hope it works out for you all.Will be thinking of you and your family keep us up to date with things when you have the time.

Love to you all and I hope little Lucy starts sleeping through the night soon.


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hello Scoop:

It is good to hear from you and about Lucy. At least you know with a little one the sleep pattern will get better. With my hubby its the reverse unfortunately:eek:.

Thanks for the update on your Dad. You have obviously had a bad patch but its great that you have a good NH for him and things seem to be going well.

Please keep posting - we mustn't wait another two years!


Registered User
Nov 20, 2006
Last posted a few months back, probably when Lucy was born. First post ever here was 2 years ago when we started to confront Dad's troubles. Been a long 2 years in someways and very short in others!

Good luck with the sleep Jan, one of the toughest things Mum had to deal with...


Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Scott,

Good to hear form you.

We have also reached the stage where my mum can no longer cope with my dad at home. He is currently in an assessment unit and we are looking for a care home that can look after him, at least on a temporary basis.

Unlike your dad, my dad behaves like an angel in the assessment unit. All the nurses think he is lovely and want to adopt him, making us feel like heartless monsters.

been alot less stressful at home - not waiting for the call to say Dad has gone to bed - or she needs my help
Although the assessment unit is not where I would want my dad to be, at least I know he is safe and my mum is safe. I no longer go into a panic when the phone rings.

I hope your dad settles well.