Dad (78) has been in a care environment for 14 months. Initially at a CH, who couldn't cope with his aggressive and violent behaviour. It would occur sporadically without any warning. He punched and pushed several carers and residents, and was eventually taken to an assessment unit after having attempted to strangle a female resident. He was there for 3 months. I then had to find him a nursing home, where he has been since April. It was limiting because I had to advice any potential NH of his type of behaviour.
Diagnosed with FTD, VasD, and possible LBD in late 2011; this makes for a very complicated illness. He exhibited a form of ' limb separation' at one stage, which involved him thinking my limbs were separate objects. He often thinks his limbs are objects, particularly his fingers. At times he can be very sweet and possibly knows who we are, but these times are becoming rare. He fluctuates so vastly that it's impossible to know what you are about to encounter at each visit. He was always a very complex, ultra intelligent, unusual character. But he was always so very, very chilled.
The staff are wary of him. Their view is that if he resists personal care, they'll leave him and return later. I can understand that, but quite often, and increasingly so, his personal care isn't being met. He is quite often left for too long in soiled pads. I have been told he dislikes female carers because he believes they are trying to molest him.
In 'his world' they are work colleagues, so why would they do that!
I have recently noticed that his nails are often dirty with faeces. His toenails are talons, because they are reluctant to have anyone in to do them. I have spoken to the Manager about this today.
The violence has recently returned again. 2 weeks ago he punched a carer in her back. Last Friday, he punched a frail lady resident in the face. She is tiny. He floored the poor lady.
He has been given every type of medication possible, which has been tweaked again and again. The MHT say there is nothing else they can try. He is regularly tested for UTIs.
The lady in question doesn't have any family, but the home have reported this incident to her social worker. I visited Dad today and saw the lady sporting a black eye and bruised nose. To hear about what he has done is bad enough, but to see the evidence is quite another. I know I can't do anything, but I'm finding this so very difficult.
I know it's pointless, but I tell myself that he would want me to stop him doing this. I can't, I know that. I do fear for what might happen next.
I know there aren't any answers, but I'm hoping to feel a bit better by just writing this down.
I miss my Dad, and I just want to do all I can to protect the person he now is, and the other residents.
Diagnosed with FTD, VasD, and possible LBD in late 2011; this makes for a very complicated illness. He exhibited a form of ' limb separation' at one stage, which involved him thinking my limbs were separate objects. He often thinks his limbs are objects, particularly his fingers. At times he can be very sweet and possibly knows who we are, but these times are becoming rare. He fluctuates so vastly that it's impossible to know what you are about to encounter at each visit. He was always a very complex, ultra intelligent, unusual character. But he was always so very, very chilled.
The staff are wary of him. Their view is that if he resists personal care, they'll leave him and return later. I can understand that, but quite often, and increasingly so, his personal care isn't being met. He is quite often left for too long in soiled pads. I have been told he dislikes female carers because he believes they are trying to molest him.
In 'his world' they are work colleagues, so why would they do that! I have recently noticed that his nails are often dirty with faeces. His toenails are talons, because they are reluctant to have anyone in to do them. I have spoken to the Manager about this today.
The violence has recently returned again. 2 weeks ago he punched a carer in her back. Last Friday, he punched a frail lady resident in the face. She is tiny. He floored the poor lady.
He has been given every type of medication possible, which has been tweaked again and again. The MHT say there is nothing else they can try. He is regularly tested for UTIs.
The lady in question doesn't have any family, but the home have reported this incident to her social worker. I visited Dad today and saw the lady sporting a black eye and bruised nose. To hear about what he has done is bad enough, but to see the evidence is quite another. I know I can't do anything, but I'm finding this so very difficult.
I know it's pointless, but I tell myself that he would want me to stop him doing this. I can't, I know that. I do fear for what might happen next.
I know there aren't any answers, but I'm hoping to feel a bit better by just writing this down.
I miss my Dad, and I just want to do all I can to protect the person he now is, and the other residents.
