Here We Go Again

[Pottingshed50]

Mum has been wonderful for quite a few months now since her bad spell last Christmas when she went down to about 6 stone, was not eating or drinking and just wanted to stay in bed. She has since put on about 2 stone in weight and was starting to be more like her old self. Last night I had a call from the Care Home to say that Mum had been pacing around the place and they had given her some of her medicine to calm her. They duly made her a cup of tea which she sat nicely with, then all of a sudden she tips this hot cup of tea right over one of the other residents.

What can you do? What makes them do such a thing for no reason. It is not as if she was in conversation with anyone as she has never spoken to anyone but the staff.

Has anyone else had this 'about turn' please?

 

[Grannie G]

That must have been awful for you to hear Pottingshed. Who knows what triggered this action?

 

[1954]

How distressing for you. I am sure the CH would be used to dealing with this sort of thing though x

 

[Noorza]

The one thing I do know about this awful disease is that there is nothing predictable about it.

 

[Pottingshed50]

1954 you practically used the words my sister did saying I am sure they can deal with the situation. I dont know why but this CH insists on letting me know every time there is something. It must be their policy I suppose but it doesnt help when you are over 160 miles away, I cannot just pop round.

I forgot to add that I did try to talk to Mum on the phone but after about two nanno seconds she dismissed me completely and handed the phone back. I feel we are losing her again.

Thank you so much for your input. TP members never fail to come to my aid when I am concerned. It really does help, because others do not understand who have not experienced all this , and saying that by all accounts Mum is not that bad compared to some and I say everyday how grateful I am for that.

God bless

 

[jaymor]

I am sure all care homes have to advise relatives if there has been an incident. My husband used his slipper to slap another resident on the leg. I was telephoned. I then had a call just a couple of weeks ago to say a resident had caught my husband's face and he had a small cut on his lip. So slipper, cut on mouth or a hot cup of tea are all assaults and have to be reported to relatives of both parties.

I visit every other day and get the calls.

I am sure they don't want you to do anything, they just need to inform you.

As to why these things happen I have no idea. Dementia has made my husband the compete opposite to what he was pre dementia.

Jay x

 

[Tigers15]

I consider that it is the moral duty of care homes to keep next of kin informed of any harm whether caused by a fall or an assault and the same goes for if your loved one is the one who is causing the harm. Depending on the degree / urgency of the injury and how often you are able to visit may dictate whether you are phoned or whether they wait until your next visit. I would certainly expect to be contacted if my father's behaviour changed dramatically i.e. he started to physically assault other residents or the staff. Only if we know what is going on can we work with the home staff to give the best appropriate care.
My father who is in a nursing home and has Alzheimer's also complains about not feeling well. He is unable to describe what it is that is causing him to feel unwell, therefore in addition to the regular blood and other tests carried out by the nursing staff he also gets regular visits from the GP. These visits and the outcome are always reported to me by the home manager or head nurse. If non-urgent they tell me at my next visit; if something more serious I receive a phone call - I wouldn't expect anything less. I appreciate that not everyone is able to visit their relatives regularly, but regular phone calls can keep you in the know.

 

[Jess26]

mum's home used to ring and inform me of every little incident. Usually while I was in the middle of asda . Even what they called 'a lowering to the floor' which two staff would do if they thought mum was at risk of falling or tripping.
Apparently this is part of the guidelines.

 

[Pottingshed50]

After a long conversation yesterday afternoon with the CH it appears that Mum is quite likely to hit out at staff for no reason.

On one occasion , hope this will bring a smile Mum was walking around the CR with her handbag swinging it as she went. She happened to catch one of the staff on the arm who yelped 'that hurt' and the staff member decided to investigate as to what she had got in the bag to make it have such an impact. Well Mum had only got a bottle of Port in there. This was removed before anymore harm could be done.

There has not been any more swinging Port Bottle incidents since.

 

[Noorza]

After a long conversation yesterday afternoon with the CH it appears that Mum is quite likely to hit out at staff for no reason.

On one occasion , hope this will bring a smile Mum was walking around the CR with her handbag swinging it as she went. She happened to catch one of the staff on the arm who yelped 'that hurt' and the staff member decided to investigate as to what she had got in the bag to make it have such an impact. Well Mum had only got a bottle of Port in there. This was removed before anymore harm could be done.

There has not been any more swinging Port Bottle incidents since.

Where the heck did she get a bottle of port from?

 

[Pottingshed50]

Good question. I have a feeling it was brought in by relatives in the early days of being in the CH. It was on top of the wardrobe at one time (early days) but no one had seen this unopened bottle of Port for months. To my knowledge it was never opened and good job too as it would have been a right mess if the stopper had come adrift.

I know that the residents are allowed Sherry and the like in their shopping. I suppose they have a right to buy the odd bottle the same as anything else they need or require.

Not all residents at this CH have A or Dementia. It is a mixture of everyone.

Some of the residents have recently been up to 'Buck House' to the annual Garden Party which was a treat for them. The old soldiers in the CH love those days out.

It is a very good CH run by a Charity , doesnt look very aesthetic but bricks and mortar are not everything. The CH is top notch in what they achieve.