Loo hope all goes well with Henry settling into the new home. look after yourself all the stress can take its toll without you being aware. keep us updated love Pam
Henry ill, I am concerned....
- Thread starter Loopiloo
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Loo, hi
Love and loads of hugs for you this evening, you are in my thoughts and I'm sending positive vibes for the CH visit over the weekend, oola you are going through it at the moment.
Take good care of yourself, with kindest regards from Jo
Love and loads of hugs for you this evening, you are in my thoughts and I'm sending positive vibes for the CH visit over the weekend, oola you are going through it at the moment.
Take good care of yourself, with kindest regards from Jo
Dear Loo,
I was given 3 days for Peter to go in the E.M.I. Unit. Peter had seen over the home whilst he was able to take things in.
No way was Peter going into the Unit at the Hospital. I had found a beautiful Home about 5 minutes from our home.
The Consultant was on my side and that he was not taking the pushy Social Worker.
His move went very smoothy but the emotional side for me was so hard.
Wishing you all the best Christine
I was given 3 days for Peter to go in the E.M.I. Unit. Peter had seen over the home whilst he was able to take things in.
No way was Peter going into the Unit at the Hospital. I had found a beautiful Home about 5 minutes from our home.
The Consultant was on my side and that he was not taking the pushy Social Worker.
His move went very smoothy but the emotional side for me was so hard.
Wishing you all the best Christine
Dear Loo
Good news that Henry has a place in your first choice home. I do hope all goes well for his assessment. I can't see any reason why it shouldn't, then perhaps, once Henry is sttled, you can get to bed before midnight!
Dave was in bed when I visited with my daughter today. Wish he had been yesterday then others wouldn't have witnessed my emotional meeting with the Sister. He was asleep for all our visit. A nurse tried to wake him for his painkillers but he wouldn't wake up and she said he'd been very sleepy all day. I said it's not his glucose level is it and she did say that she would test. When she did it was over 15- which was a surprise as I expected it to be really low with him being so drowsy.
I've not been present for any of Dave's nursing home assessments (the first 2 wouldn't take him, the first because he wasn;t going to be completely self-funding and the second because his dementia was too advanced for them.) Nobody suggested it as an option and I wan't informed of the visits until they had taken place.I hope you are more fortunate. Though, I dare say I can make sure the home is aware of all his needs once he moves,including the lack of pressure permitted on his remaining leg, which this hospital ignored for so long!
I do hope you hear good news over the weekend. Take care of yourself. Love X
Good news that Henry has a place in your first choice home. I do hope all goes well for his assessment. I can't see any reason why it shouldn't, then perhaps, once Henry is sttled, you can get to bed before midnight!
Dave was in bed when I visited with my daughter today. Wish he had been yesterday then others wouldn't have witnessed my emotional meeting with the Sister. He was asleep for all our visit. A nurse tried to wake him for his painkillers but he wouldn't wake up and she said he'd been very sleepy all day. I said it's not his glucose level is it and she did say that she would test. When she did it was over 15- which was a surprise as I expected it to be really low with him being so drowsy.
I've not been present for any of Dave's nursing home assessments (the first 2 wouldn't take him, the first because he wasn;t going to be completely self-funding and the second because his dementia was too advanced for them.) Nobody suggested it as an option and I wan't informed of the visits until they had taken place.I hope you are more fortunate. Though, I dare say I can make sure the home is aware of all his needs once he moves,including the lack of pressure permitted on his remaining leg, which this hospital ignored for so long!
I do hope you hear good news over the weekend. Take care of yourself. Love X
First of all I must say how great it is to see you back on TP, Pam! Thanks for your post.
Also for the warning that stress can take its toll without you being aware. After a nightmare six months I thought I was coping better but last night after talking to the SW and then the care home nurse I was rather shocked at how quickly I reverted back to the mess I was the first three months or so.
I am tensely waiting for the phone call I am supposed to get today from the care home nurse who is doing the care needs assessment at the hospital either today or tomorrow. Hope the call does come, that the message was passed on to her and I am not forgotten about...
Waiting for a phone call is awful, afraid to go and do anything out of reach of the phone as I am slow to reach it before it switches to answer phone. Afraid to go upstairs to the loo, which seems constant this morning!
Hope you are feeling much better, Pam, although it will take time. Welcome back and don't go away!
Love
Loo xxx
Also for the warning that stress can take its toll without you being aware. After a nightmare six months I thought I was coping better but last night after talking to the SW and then the care home nurse I was rather shocked at how quickly I reverted back to the mess I was the first three months or so.
I am tensely waiting for the phone call I am supposed to get today from the care home nurse who is doing the care needs assessment at the hospital either today or tomorrow. Hope the call does come, that the message was passed on to her and I am not forgotten about...
Waiting for a phone call is awful, afraid to go and do anything out of reach of the phone as I am slow to reach it before it switches to answer phone. Afraid to go upstairs to the loo, which seems constant this morning!
Hope you are feeling much better, Pam, although it will take time. Welcome back and don't go away!
Love
Loo xxx
Hello Loo, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and for a successful decision reached today. x
Thanks Jo for all your kind words, could do with a hug but then it might dissolve me to tears! Got to keep a grip.... Positive vibes appreciated.
If no phone call by 11.30am I shall phone the care home, which I don't really want to do, but....
Love
Loo xx
If no phone call by 11.30am I shall phone the care home, which I don't really want to do, but....
Love
Loo xx
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Good that Peter's move went very smoothly, Christine. I am doubtful about Henry. This is his 19th week in the Community hopspital, he is settled in, familiar routine, faces, stopped asking for ages where he is and why, although can't take in he is in a hospital. I do dread, to put it mildly, how the move will be for him, can only hope it is not too upsetting
Thanks for your good wishes
Love
Loo xx
I don't know when or how I will come to terms with the emotional side of it for myself. I have been trying, but it is not working, it will have to happen before I can really try to come to terms. If I ever do. At present I'm totally focused on Henry and the upheaval for him.
Thanks for your good wishes
Love
Loo xx
Thanks Deborah and Izzy. Yes it is traumatic Izzy, but it all has been over the six months, one scenario after another. The layers of tension, stress build up one on top of the other.
I'm clock watching, count down to phoning at 11.30am which I don't want to do but have to know what is happening.
Off to the loo yet again
Love
Loo xx
I'm clock watching, count down to phoning at 11.30am which I don't want to do but have to know what is happening.
Off to the loo yet again
Love
Loo xx
Hello Saffie
Yes good news about the care home of my choice, and the unit within it, although he is not there yet. I hope when he is assessed it is one of his better days....
15 was high for Dave's glucose, is he on insulin? I've no idea what Henry's is now, no one volunteers information and tracking down nurses has been dificult this week. Last week he was verbally kicking off but this week has been calm, quiet and sleeping for large parts of my visit.
Time dragging on, why do I have this feeling that I am not going to receive the phone call after all. Is it me being negative, with good reason from past experiences, or just over anxious.....
Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes, especially when you yourself are going through the mill.
Love
Loo xxx
Yes good news about the care home of my choice, and the unit within it, although he is not there yet. I hope when he is assessed it is one of his better days....
It was not suggested to me either. I asked and got advice on TP about being present at the pre-assessment for a care home. When I first mentioned it to the SW, ages ago, she was doubtful, but yesterday on the phone all for it when I again mentioned it. So was the nurse I spoke to yesterday at the care home. At all the care homes I visited in March I asked about being present and all were agreeable.
15 was high for Dave's glucose, is he on insulin? I've no idea what Henry's is now, no one volunteers information and tracking down nurses has been dificult this week. Last week he was verbally kicking off but this week has been calm, quiet and sleeping for large parts of my visit.
Time dragging on, why do I have this feeling that I am not going to receive the phone call after all. Is it me being negative, with good reason from past experiences, or just over anxious.....
Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes, especially when you yourself are going through the mill.
Love
Loo xxx
Phone call to care home re assessment
Phoned the care home at 11.30am, no reply. Phoned again 11.45am, in luck this time, and passed on to Eileen who will be doing the assessment. It will not be today as they are short staffed. She hopes tomorrow but depends on the staffing situation. Failing that she said definiitely Monday. She will phone me tomorrow. I asked when he would be moved to the care home, she replied that providing he is accepted... it can be very quick, withing two days.
We had a really good chat, she asked a lot, also told me what information she had, not a lot, but much of it wrong!! They were told Henry has a pacemaker which is not correct! Our GP had him tested for his slow hearbeat and had decided to hold off and "watch and wait".
They were also informed that I have MS. Not true! I had to explain that I have lymphatic cancer a low grade indolent follicular lymphoma (Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma). (Actually mixed grade, started off aggressive for a few years then became indolent)
Plus a bad lymphoedema leg caused by the lymphoma which damaged my groin lymph nodes and lymph vessels. Also that I had avascular necrosis (AVN), bone death caused by an interruption of the blood supply to the bone. Part of my femur and all of my hip joint were destroyed as the condition went undiagnosed for over 3 years. (told it was sciatica although I knew not that) Thought to have been caused by radiotherapy treatment. Latterly in a wheel chair. Surgery got me out of that but left me with pain and limited mobility hence the need for a 3 wheel walking aid.
How can whoever - Social Worker? - get things so wrong?
The care home nurse also asked a lot about Henry's diabetes, and I told her straight this has been mismanaged from after surgery in November and throughout by all three hospitals. They stopped giving him his diabetic tablets after surgery because his glucose levels dropped to 7 - due to not having eaten from lunch time the day he fractured his hip, on pre-op fast next day but surgery cancelled in late afernoon. (possibly a small meal then) No food the following day of surgery (heavily sedated, out for the count, nor the day after or only small pureed meals, and he was being sick. His meds should NEVER have been stopped. Possilby reduced when lower but not stopped. They have been controlling the diabetes for 7 years. After he started taking meals his glucose levels were very erratic and in 20s at times. Then supposedly stabilized at 10 (not low enough) by a diabetic specialist called in only 2-3 days before moved to present hospital on 5 January.
At the Community Hosptal I was told when I enquired he was "fine" or "alright", only to discover a few weeks ago that his glucose levels had steadily been rising well into 20s and eventually the 30s, as high as 36. But that was allowed to happen, nothing done until crisis point.
Anyway, writing too much and repeating myself re the diabetes. But the care home nurse was shocked that I had never been informed of this. She twice said "Really? Really!" and I replied "Yes really, I have not been informed about anything, and when I had asked only received vague minimal replies." She said "If your husband does come here you will be kept informed of everything".
Also discussed his dementia and other things. She is interested in what I have written about his health and care needs and will have a copy from me when we meet.
I found our conversation very reassuring. Having dreaded that in a care home I would be kept well at arm's length concerning being informed as has happened in all three hospitals over 6 months.
Sorry to write so much detail, but it was such a relief to talk with someone about it all, and to gauge her level of interest and concern, and that she sounds knowledgable about both diabetes and dementia, also how diabetes can affect dementia. Apparently someone with dementia going onto insulin injections can be problematic, which our GP had also said and she was trying to keep the diabetes under control and prolong a stage when insulin might become necessary.
The care home nurse also sounded understanding and sympathetic which brought tears to my eyes.
After 6 months of being ignored, not meeting a doctor until a few weeks ago, and then I had to ask, to be told that it is important for them to receive all the information I can give them, is such a complete change.
She wll definitely phone me tomorrow as soon as she knows what is happening. Such a sense of relief now, and I feel more positive about the move to the care home. Here's hoping.... the only niggling worry is the repeated 'providing he is accepted.....'or words to that effect.
I now know the Community Hospital has an EMI unit where those with dementia who are "not suitable" for a care home go, and I would not want that for Henry. Positive vibes please that they do accept him and that he does settle in, and that the verbal aggression of late towards men in the sitting room does not go against him. So far no physical aggression in hospital that I know of. I have asked. Only towards me at home, and only occasionally, and this had lessened over the past year or so. It was the verbal aggression which was constant. Only ever towards me, never anyone else.
I am writing far too much. This post is rather garbled, I must calm down.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for your posts and support, thanks for being there.
Love
Loo xx
Phoned the care home at 11.30am, no reply. Phoned again 11.45am, in luck this time, and passed on to Eileen who will be doing the assessment. It will not be today as they are short staffed. She hopes tomorrow but depends on the staffing situation. Failing that she said definiitely Monday. She will phone me tomorrow. I asked when he would be moved to the care home, she replied that providing he is accepted... it can be very quick, withing two days.
We had a really good chat, she asked a lot, also told me what information she had, not a lot, but much of it wrong!!
They were told Henry has a pacemaker which is not correct! Our GP had him tested for his slow hearbeat and had decided to hold off and "watch and wait". They were also informed that I have MS. Not true! I had to explain that I have lymphatic cancer a low grade indolent follicular lymphoma (Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma). (Actually mixed grade, started off aggressive for a few years then became indolent)
Plus a bad lymphoedema leg caused by the lymphoma which damaged my groin lymph nodes and lymph vessels. Also that I had avascular necrosis (AVN), bone death caused by an interruption of the blood supply to the bone. Part of my femur and all of my hip joint were destroyed as the condition went undiagnosed for over 3 years. (told it was sciatica although I knew not that) Thought to have been caused by radiotherapy treatment. Latterly in a wheel chair. Surgery got me out of that but left me with pain and limited mobility hence the need for a 3 wheel walking aid.
How can whoever - Social Worker? - get things so wrong?
The care home nurse also asked a lot about Henry's diabetes, and I told her straight this has been mismanaged from after surgery in November and throughout by all three hospitals. They stopped giving him his diabetic tablets after surgery because his glucose levels dropped to 7 - due to not having eaten from lunch time the day he fractured his hip, on pre-op fast next day but surgery cancelled in late afernoon. (possibly a small meal then) No food the following day of surgery (heavily sedated, out for the count, nor the day after or only small pureed meals, and he was being sick. His meds should NEVER have been stopped. Possilby reduced when lower but not stopped. They have been controlling the diabetes for 7 years. After he started taking meals his glucose levels were very erratic and in 20s at times. Then supposedly stabilized at 10 (not low enough) by a diabetic specialist called in only 2-3 days before moved to present hospital on 5 January.
At the Community Hosptal I was told when I enquired he was "fine" or "alright", only to discover a few weeks ago that his glucose levels had steadily been rising well into 20s and eventually the 30s, as high as 36. But that was allowed to happen, nothing done until crisis point.
Anyway, writing too much and repeating myself re the diabetes. But the care home nurse was shocked that I had never been informed of this. She twice said "Really? Really!" and I replied "Yes really, I have not been informed about anything, and when I had asked only received vague minimal replies." She said "If your husband does come here you will be kept informed of everything".
Also discussed his dementia and other things. She is interested in what I have written about his health and care needs and will have a copy from me when we meet.
I found our conversation very reassuring. Having dreaded that in a care home I would be kept well at arm's length concerning being informed as has happened in all three hospitals over 6 months.
Sorry to write so much detail, but it was such a relief to talk with someone about it all, and to gauge her level of interest and concern, and that she sounds knowledgable about both diabetes and dementia, also how diabetes can affect dementia. Apparently someone with dementia going onto insulin injections can be problematic, which our GP had also said and she was trying to keep the diabetes under control and prolong a stage when insulin might become necessary.
The care home nurse also sounded understanding and sympathetic which brought tears to my eyes.
After 6 months of being ignored, not meeting a doctor until a few weeks ago, and then I had to ask, to be told that it is important for them to receive all the information I can give them, is such a complete change.
She wll definitely phone me tomorrow as soon as she knows what is happening. Such a sense of relief now, and I feel more positive about the move to the care home. Here's hoping.... the only niggling worry is the repeated 'providing he is accepted.....'or words to that effect.
I now know the Community Hospital has an EMI unit where those with dementia who are "not suitable" for a care home go, and I would not want that for Henry. Positive vibes please that they do accept him and that he does settle in, and that the verbal aggression of late towards men in the sitting room does not go against him. So far no physical aggression in hospital that I know of. I have asked. Only towards me at home, and only occasionally, and this had lessened over the past year or so. It was the verbal aggression which was constant. Only ever towards me, never anyone else.
I am writing far too much. This post is rather garbled, I must calm down.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for your posts and support, thanks for being there.
Love
Loo xx
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Loo, hi
That is such good news, time for a cuppa
What a good thing you made that call and will have a chance to meet in the next couple of days, I hope it's tomorrow as hospitals, in my experience, are more relaxed on Sundays and you might have a better visit, sorry if I'm wrong about this but ...
Positive vibes and a little, gentle hug for you, I hope you have a good rest of the day.
With kind regards from Jo
That is such good news, time for a cuppa
What a good thing you made that call and will have a chance to meet in the next couple of days, I hope it's tomorrow as hospitals, in my experience, are more relaxed on Sundays and you might have a better visit, sorry if I'm wrong about this but ...
Positive vibes and a little, gentle hug for you, I hope you have a good rest of the day.
With kind regards from Jo
Hi Lou,lots of positive vibes from drizzly/damp Cornwall
Hope everything works out for you and Henry.You both could do with a period of relative calm in your lives.I do not know how you cope with all of this. Never mind a cuppa,you could do with a large glass of sherry,medicinal purposes only
Have a peaceful afternoon.
Best wishes, Angela.
Hope everything works out for you and Henry.You both could do with a period of relative calm in your lives.I do not know how you cope with all of this. Never mind a cuppa,you could do with a large glass of sherry,medicinal purposes only
Have a peaceful afternoon.
Best wishes, Angela.
Dear Loo,
I do so very much hope that Henry is accepted for this care home, the care home of your choice. Fingers and everything else crossed that the assessment goes well.
I know just what you mean, the relief that someone (the CH nurse) actually wants to know all that you can tell them about Henry's illness, needs, behaviour, etc..
Sending you positive vibes and all good wishes for a happy outcome - and lots of love,
Nan XXX
I do so very much hope that Henry is accepted for this care home, the care home of your choice. Fingers and everything else crossed that the assessment goes well.
I know just what you mean, the relief that someone (the CH nurse) actually wants to know all that you can tell them about Henry's illness, needs, behaviour, etc..
Sending you positive vibes and all good wishes for a happy outcome - and lots of love,
Nan XXX
Jo, you may be right about hospitals more relaxed on Sundays. Usually less staff, often the Sister not on duty... if she is part of the assessment, although could be a staff-nurse.
A strange day, I have calmed down but aching and tired and can't concentrate on what I would have been doing today.
Can't keep away from dementia... been trying to figure out what stage Henry now is compared with before he fractured his hip and last had a 'normal'conversation with me while lying flat out on the bathroom floor six months ago.
Wish I could turn off my thoughts... and I doubt if anything decent on TV as a distraction.
The positive vibes and and gentle hug appreciated.
Loo xx
A strange day, I have calmed down but aching and tired and can't concentrate on what I would have been doing today.
Can't keep away from dementia... been trying to figure out what stage Henry now is compared with before he fractured his hip and last had a 'normal'conversation with me while lying flat out on the bathroom floor six months ago.
Wish I could turn off my thoughts... and I doubt if anything decent on TV as a distraction.
The positive vibes and and gentle hug appreciated.
Loo xx
Hi Angela, from drizzly damp Scotland! A deep silence seems to have settled on outside. Not even the greedy wee twittering birds who empty the bird feeders faster than I can re-fill them!
A long time since I had a sherry! I miss a tipple but my body now mainly objects to alcohol.... Although daughter Elaine left wine and I may just be tempted to a glass!
Peace! Aaah! That would be bliss! As the younger generation say,
Loo xx
A long time since I had a sherry!
I miss a tipple but my body now mainly objects to alcohol.... Although daughter Elaine left wine and I may just be tempted to a glass! Peace! Aaah! That would be bliss! As the younger generation say,
Loo xx
Dear Nan
Thanks for your good wishes, here's hoping all goes well concerning the assessment, and a good outcome.
Oh yes, great relief when the CH said what she did. Such a change from being given the brush off by hopital nurses. Patients visitors should be seen and not heard. I did have a gut feeling this home nursing staff were better qualified and experienced than other homes visited, from discussions with one of the three Deputy Managers. Here's hoping I am right.
Re your earlier post two days ago (plus Saffie's concerns):
I've always been a night owl, so are both my daughters, but age has caught up with me! Also it was the only time I could wind down when Henry was home, if you know what I mean. A brief respite from dementia.
Although I do not sleep well, if I went to bed at a civilized hour I would awaken much too early when pain kicks in after four or five hours. Impossible to get a pain free positon, and after a spell it drives me out of bed. The later I go to bed the less time before this kicking in and getting up!
However tonight I think it will be a more civilized hour, struggling to keep my eyes open and not yet 6pm!
With love
Loo xxx
Thanks for your good wishes, here's hoping all goes well concerning the assessment, and a good outcome.
Oh yes, great relief when the CH said what she did. Such a change from being given the brush off by hopital nurses. Patients visitors should be seen and not heard. I did have a gut feeling this home nursing staff were better qualified and experienced than other homes visited, from discussions with one of the three Deputy Managers. Here's hoping I am right.
Re your earlier post two days ago (plus Saffie's concerns):
Yes I know you do,and I didn't take it that way! My excuses...!
I've always been a night owl, so are both my daughters, but age has caught up with me! Also it was the only time I could wind down when Henry was home, if you know what I mean. A brief respite from dementia.Although I do not sleep well, if I went to bed at a civilized hour I would awaken much too early when pain kicks in after four or five hours. Impossible to get a pain free positon, and after a spell it drives me out of bed. The later I go to bed the less time before this kicking in and getting up!
However tonight I think it will be a more civilized hour, struggling to keep my eyes open and not yet 6pm!
With love
Loo xxx
Hi Loo
So pleased that you had such a positive discussion with the home. hopefully they will be fully prepared for the assessment now - and for when he goes to the home which I'm sure he will.
Dave awake but non-communicative today. I took him in some melon but he wouldn't open his mouth for me to put it in and wouldn't hold a piece in his hand. Yes, he is insulin dpendent and has been for years - has had diabetes since he was 35 or so but tablets for a number of years first. His blood sugar is usually on the low side and I have had to call the ambulance a few times when he has had a complete hypo in the night. Those he has had during the day, I can usually stop by giving him a drink of warm water with loads of sugar poured in (usually in panic mode!) speedily followed by a jam sandwich or something similar. He's too far gone at night though by the time I'm aware of it. He gets no warning at all -and though this might be because of the dementia and him not recognising the signs it's also possible it's due to the type of insulin he is now getting. It was changed some years ago.
I do hope you sleep better - and earlier tonight,Loo. I can't tell you how pleased I am for you, you have had so much worry - hopefully some of this will now be relieved soon. Loads of love M X
So pleased that you had such a positive discussion with the home. hopefully they will be fully prepared for the assessment now - and for when he goes to the home which I'm sure he will.
Dave awake but non-communicative today. I took him in some melon but he wouldn't open his mouth for me to put it in and wouldn't hold a piece in his hand. Yes, he is insulin dpendent and has been for years - has had diabetes since he was 35 or so but tablets for a number of years first. His blood sugar is usually on the low side and I have had to call the ambulance a few times when he has had a complete hypo in the night. Those he has had during the day, I can usually stop by giving him a drink of warm water with loads of sugar poured in (usually in panic mode!) speedily followed by a jam sandwich or something similar. He's too far gone at night though by the time I'm aware of it. He gets no warning at all -and though this might be because of the dementia and him not recognising the signs it's also possible it's due to the type of insulin he is now getting. It was changed some years ago.
I do hope you sleep better - and earlier tonight,Loo. I can't tell you how pleased I am for you, you have had so much worry - hopefully some of this will now be relieved soon. Loads of love M X
