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Helpline?!

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,270
From what you've said: your Dad is angry/aggressive and you fear for your Mum's safety if she goes back home, he is refusing to speak with the memory clinic and isn't taking his medication.

Did the social worker call you back? If not I'd suggest contacting the social services emergency safeguarding team, on the basis that your Mum is at risk if she goes back home. They can contact the psychiatric crisis team if necessary. I understand your reluctance to get the police involved by contacting them directly but it isn't clear whether you've tried ringing 111? Explain to them that your Dad is a vulnerable person who is not taking his medication. If he is angry/aggressive towards them then they may call the psychiatric crisis team or police for assistance but your Dad needs to take his medication, or be given a change of medication, so has to be assessed. If the emergency services are involved then he will get the help he needs and as that seems to be the only way that your Dad is going to be assessed and given his meds then I don't see what other options you have other than those that have been already suggested. Unfortunately it often takes a crisis for someone to get the help that they need, and the situation isn't going to get any better for your Dad and Mum if things are just left as they are so you need to be proactive.

Did you try ringing the helpline again, or the live on-line support service?
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,615
Nottinghamshire
Your mum's needs are paramount here. You have to make sure she is safe. From what you've said she is not safe alone with your dad until his condition has been stabilised.

This is a crisis.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,922
South coast
Something has got to be done for your dad as he is at (great) risk of causing injury to your mum. Have you tried using that phrase to the Safeguarding Team at Social Services? I understand that phoning the police is a last resort and something that you do not wish to do, but it sounds to me as though you have tried everything else. Im thinking that the last resort has now arrived. The police can summon the Psychiatric Crisis Team and they will be listened to, whereas it sounds to me like no-one is listening to you.
 

Jilly606

Registered User
Dec 7, 2017
27
Thanks kindred, going to persuade mum to go to gp and tell them what’s happening and see if that route could get them to do something, also clinging to hope that he has a water infection that can be treated as this sometimes causes this rapid decline, if it’s not that I’ll ring social services as well as look at what the visit to GP comes up with, all advice lines I rung just say if he doesn’t engage nothing can be done which isn’t at all helpful so we’re muddking our way through trying to find a way ourselves (trucker dad into get an infection test by coinciding it with his usual diabetes blood tests) x
 

Jilly606

Registered User
Dec 7, 2017
27
Thank you all I do appreciate your help, yesterday he was back to normal for a few hours then changed again, it’s strange as this has only happened this week going from being ok to total fixation in a day, is it usual for when the disease progresses that one day they’re at one stage and literally the next they’ve skipped a few stages instead of a steadier decline between stages?
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,615
Nottinghamshire
In vascular dementia it is common for sudden changes rather than a steady decline.

I hope your dad does have an infection (sounds awful doesn't it?) so it can be treated and get him back to normal.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,270
As he has alzheimer's it could well be an infection. They can cause havoc in people with dementia. Call 111 so that any possible infection can be treated quickly if you can't get your Dad to the GP.
 

Jilly606

Registered User
Dec 7, 2017
27
We’ve got him in for Tuesday tricking him it’s part of his regular diabetes tests (fingers crossed the nurse doesn’t start asking why he’s having a water infection test)