Helpline?!
- Thread starter Jilly606
- Start date
Sorry your dad's condition has thrown up this horrible situation for you and your mum @Jilly606, and having trouble getting hold of the helpline. I found them to be useful and got through straight away a month or two back, so hopefully it is just a temporary problem.
If you post the more about your problems on https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/ you might get better answers than I or Bunpoots can offer. It might also be worth phoning Social Services again however and emphasising how vulnerable your dad is.
If you post the more about your problems on https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/i-care-for-a-person-with-dementia.70/ you might get better answers than I or Bunpoots can offer. It might also be worth phoning Social Services again however and emphasising how vulnerable your dad is.
Live on-line advice is available in the UK if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline/live-online-advice
Another helpline is via the Admiral Nurses and you can get details if you follow this link
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/dementia-helpline-alzheimers-helpline/
Another helpline is via the Admiral Nurses and you can get details if you follow this link
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/dementia-helpline-alzheimers-helpline/
I'm glad your mum is with you @Jilly606. I think you're right about her not being safe at home while your dad's behaviour is as it is.
If you feel your dad is not safe on his own don't be afraid to dial 999 especially if his aggression is making him dangerous to himself or others. I've no direct experience of this but I've read on here that the police or ambulance service, should their input be needed, deal kindly with people with dementia.
I hope you find some help soon.
If you feel your dad is not safe on his own don't be afraid to dial 999 especially if his aggression is making him dangerous to himself or others. I've no direct experience of this but I've read on here that the police or ambulance service, should their input be needed, deal kindly with people with dementia.
I hope you find some help soon.
Thank you everyone, duty officer called to see dad without speaking to us first eeeek, yep dad kicked off refused to see him and then rang me saying you've reported me!! They won’t do anything cos dad won’t speak to them, 3 years of Alzheimer’s, he can’t remember making his dinner today but i know he has with the pots that are left, he hasn’t taken his meds cos he’s no idea if mums not there to give them him, but as he chooses to not to let anyone know, they won’t do anything
That is true, but they do have the power to get someone who is the answer out and they have more clout than you do.
The police can be the answer.
We had three crises and the mental health crisis telephone number given to us by our CPN only covered adults with learning difficulties not dementia so no use to us. The advice that number gave us was to dial 111 or 999. 111 could not help, 999 were our saviours. They had a crisis number, two hours later two people from a crisis team arrived and the following day a bed was found in an assessment unit and 7 years of sheer torture for my husband came to an end. I can’t praise the police enough, they were understanding, kind and gave us the help we so desperately needed.
From the unit he went into a nursing home and we had a further four years that were as good as they could be and I was a wife once more. I dread to think what would have happened to both of us had they not given the help we needed.
It shouldn’t be like this but unfortunately the police are sometimes the only hope we have and they do report to social services.
We had three crises and the mental health crisis telephone number given to us by our CPN only covered adults with learning difficulties not dementia so no use to us. The advice that number gave us was to dial 111 or 999. 111 could not help, 999 were our saviours. They had a crisis number, two hours later two people from a crisis team arrived and the following day a bed was found in an assessment unit and 7 years of sheer torture for my husband came to an end. I can’t praise the police enough, they were understanding, kind and gave us the help we so desperately needed.
From the unit he went into a nursing home and we had a further four years that were as good as they could be and I was a wife once more. I dread to think what would have happened to both of us had they not given the help we needed.
It shouldn’t be like this but unfortunately the police are sometimes the only hope we have and they do report to social services.
Thank you, but we’re totally not at thar stage, he doesn’t need personal care, he does all that for himself and doesn’t need reminding, he can cook and clean without being told how, he drives about, takes my mum food shopping, goes to put a bet on in betting shop regularly, goes to pub on his own, he knows who we all are, never gets us mixed up, if you met him in street you’d think nothing was wrong, the only things he can’t do is remember what meds he needs to take and when, what day it is, or what happened yesterday, memory clinic said he still knows enough to be aware of surroundings and what’s happening but at the same time he’s stuck in this fixation/anger stage, he won’t go to docs, he won’t let anyone in to help cos he thinks he doesn’t need it, I can’t have police come and Cart him off just because memory clinic won’t do anything, change to meds could make all the difference, we’re stuck in limbo, if I take mum away he’ll not take his meds and get worse, it’s like were being asked to make the situation worse for him so we fit into what the system can do
I understand you may think police might arrest him, but not necessarily. They will probably make a report of the situation, offer advice and calm things down. But the point is they are duty bound to make a referral to social services, which will move the situation on and make authorities aware of the problem. Police have a lot of clout with other agencies
The problem is my dad won’t engage with the agencies, just the mere presence of them will make the whole situation 10 times worse, they’d end up arresting him because of the behaviour he’ll display at being unhappy they were there when it’s all to do with his mind, police may well have contacts but it’s the route they’ll take that isn’t the correct route, it shouldn’t have to reach a police stage
No they wont arrest him if he kicks off - they will call the psychiatric crisis team. And the psychiatric crisis team will come straight away because its the police that have called them.
Of course you have a right to see it that way but you have asked for our help and we are trying to give it to you. It's borne out of experience so don't dismiss it out of hand please.
L
With love Kindred
I understand. What can you do to keep your mum safe? Let's focus on that. I understand the police route is frightening. Can we look at this as a safeguarding issue and see what help you can get for that? GPS, social services etc.
With love Kindred
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