helping kin when your far away!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by soulsmilin, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. soulsmilin

    soulsmilin Registered User

    Feb 13, 2007
    43
    Tyne and wear
    :confused: Hello this is my first time on here, wanted to ask if any one has any coping stratergies for when you live a while away from your loved ones, at the moment seem to be spending most of my time traveling around the country when not at work, to help give a break to my family. Feeling really fustrated as most of the time theirs not much I can do and my worst fears are currently being realised in being"forgotten"by my pop, :(

    Every thing seems to be happening too fast, This time last year there was occassional confusion, now it seems good if he's able to recognise he is in his own home. As a nurse I have worked with so many people including those with this and simular conditions, and although it helps in keeping your cool, every thing else just seems to go out of the window. Been keeping every thing bottled up and tonight everything just hitting me and i'm just trying to stop the tears from continuously falling.

    I`m not usually one to talk so much about the things that upset me but just reading all of your songs and messages and poems on here tonight, have brought tears, smiles and laughter to me , sometimes all at once, and for that and feeling like there is a place in this universe where you dont have to explain yourself to be understood, I thank you all dearly,

    Would apprieciate any advice especially from those that have travelled to help care for family, many thanks

    soulsmilin
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya soulsmilin,
    Welcome to TP. You will soon find that you are not on your own in trying to care for a relative from a distance.
    If you don't mind I am going to move this to the main forum as you will receive more replies there (when people wake up).
    Love Helen
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,894
    Kent
    Hi soulsmilin, welcome to TP.

    From, not my own experience, but from the experience of a friend, I think one of the most difficult aspects of caring and visiting long distance is just how tiring it is.

    When you are working, instead of relaxing during time off, you are travelling, supporting others and trying to make up for lost time in caring.

    I also feel if your career is in the caring profession, it is impossible to keep the professional objectivity in a personal situation. Particularly when you are faced with visible deterioration in someone you love.

    Are you sure you are not being too hard on yourself. Are you expecting too much of yourself. It doesn`t surprise me that it`s hitting you hard, you are tired, upset, afraid and allowing the `guilt monster` to raise its ugly head.

    Do your best for your father, as you are doing, and be a bit kinder to yourself.

    With love Sylvia x
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi soulsmilin

    Welcome to TP. You've hit the nail on the head with that statement. It's a great place.

    You sound exhausted. Don't wear yourself out, your pop wouldn't want that. It's hard, caring from a distance, as many members have found out. But you can only do what you can do, and you need to stay strong for your pop's sake.

    Don't bottle up your worries and emotions. There is always someone here to offer support and sympathy.

    Love,
     
  5. soulsmilin

    soulsmilin Registered User

    Feb 13, 2007
    43
    Tyne and wear
    thanks guys, decided to get out some feelings by starting some poetry, and feeling brighter today:)
     

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