help

[brian6764]

hi there i have just joined and need a little advice my mum is 68 and has been diagnosed with the early stages she is on medication but i dont know what to do next i live 100 miles away from her and feel helpless she is verry forgetfull, has started draging one leg and refuses to use her right arm i dont know if this is to do with the condition so would love some advice

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Brian, welcome to TP.

You don`t say whether or not your mother lives alone. If she does, and you are her next of kin, I would contact her GP and ask for Social Services [SS] to arrange an assessment of her needs.

Social Services will tell your mother what help she can expect. If it is at all possible it would be best if you could arrange to be there too. You do not want to rely on your mother for information, you need to hear it first hand.

I would also contact her GP and ask for re-assessment of her medication. She really needs to see someone urgently re not using her arm and dragging her leg.

It is really difficult when you live so far away. I do hope you can get some help for her.

 

[brian6764]

Thanks

Thanks sylvia yes she does live alone on the third floor flat and she is finding it hard to climb the stairs so we (me and my brother) are looking into a ground floor flat or a warden controlled flat it all just seems to have got too much too soon for us
Brian

 

[Nebiroth]

You don't say what form of dementia you mum has been diagnosed with.

I should stress I'm not a medical person but...

The problems she is having with her arm and leg don't sound typical, particularly in the early stages.

This really sounds as though it should be at the very least reported to her GP. If I was with someone and they suddenly had these symptoms I'd be dialling 999.

 

[Grannie G]

Brian,

If she is confused and forgetful, I see problems if you move her now, even to a Warden Controlled flat.

It will be very difficult for your mother to find her way round a new living environment, however compact it is. I would be sure to discuss this with the Warden, before making a decision.

I do understand how concerned you must be that your mother is living by herself in a third floor flat, but at least it is familiar to her.

I think you have a problem on your hands. Sorry.

Love xx

 

[Nell]

Dear Brian,

So sorry to read about your Mum. I urge you to get urgent medical advice about your Mum - she needs a proper assessment to explain the physical symptoms. Altho' loss of mobility is one characteristic of dementia, I would think what you describe is not typical and may be something additional to the dementia . . . . ?? (I am NOT a doctor!!)

As for somewhere to live, it may sound extreme to say this, but you may be wiser to look at a Care Home that provides assisted living. If your Mum's decline has been reasonably rapid (?? not sure if this is the case) she may soon find the Warden controlled environment beyond her too. Each change for people with dementia is very hard on them and seems to result infurther deterioration - perhaps because of the need to learn new things and develop new living patterns. Learning anything new is almost impossible when one has dementia.

I'm glad to hear you have a brother to help you. This is one of (if not THE) most difficult times for us as children of aging parents. I wish you every success in finding solutions that work for you all.