1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. sunlover

    sunlover Registered User

    Dec 6, 2011
    Hubby has attendance allowance and help with council tax.
    He visits a Mental house Doctor Who tries to persuade him to go to a day care centre
    We're he will have a cooked lunch!
    I replied cook everything from scratch And love cooking
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I'm not sure what your question is and why you need help. Most carers would kill for the opportunity of a day care place, but if you and he don't want it, you don't have to accept it.
  3. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    I'm also confused, what is it you want help with?
  4. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    #4 meme, Jan 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2016
    he could go to day centre for other reasons..for you to have a break..for him to be with new people in different surroundings...I am sure your homecooking will still be needed and the day centre dinner will be no competition at all!! If you don't think it will be helpful in any way then refuse the offer.
  5. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    East Kent
    Hello Sunlover. If your Hubby goes to the day centre and enjoys it, it will gee you a few hours break a week.
    We all need a little time off to keep ourselves well.
  6. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    As has been said, if you or hubby do not wish to use day centre all you have to do is say no thank you.

    My hubby went to day care one day a week for a number of years but sadly no longer able to do so - due to physical ailments as well as dementia. How I wish he was still able to attend day care!

    I (mostly) cook things from scratch at home but he always enjoyed the lunch he bought at day care and it was a change for him to mix with others.
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    Hi sunlover
    I don't think any slight on your cooking was intended - it's just that saying there's a 'free' lunch available is often the way to entice someone to try out a day centre if they are a little reluctant - I know it worked for my dad, even though I too cooked at home and enjoyed doing so for the 2 of us
    there are lots of reasons people attend day centres - as others have said your hubby may enjoy the activities, the company, a change of environment AND you may well enjoy some time to do something you'd enjoy, whether going out or putting your feet up with a book
    it's no slur on you as a carer that this is being offered - it's an added support to you both and isn't available to everyone, unfortunately
    maybe give it a try?
  8. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    Day care centres are a lifeline for most of us, and usually you have to fight to get it approved. So consider yourself very lucky that you have been offered a place and don't dismiss it out of hand because you think your cooking is better! It isn't a slight on you, it's support for you both. My OH loves the day centre, they do so many activities with him, and it gives me the breathing space which every carer needs. You can read here the desperation when patients refuse to go: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?88838-refusing-to-go-to-day-care-now
  9. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    Did you misunderstand what the doctor said about day care and lunch! Day care would give you a break and hubby may enjoy it.

    Aisling ( Ireland)

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