1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. harper4

    harper4 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    #1 harper4, Jun 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2015
    I am seeking anyone out that can help our family....my husband is an acute alcoholic -He did very well most of his life handling this worked hard was in charge of a full crew of men and read blueprints on a regular basis. About 8 years ago he started changing seemed distant and forgetful used to be mad at the world -he has been off work for 5 years now drinks a case of beer everyday and seems like a total stranger. He falls asleep sitting up sometimes sleeps all day sometimes prowls around the house all night does not eat much has lost from 150 to 122 and is almost 6 foot tall-I have had him at his doctors and talked to his doctor he had a mri of the brain-I do not understand totally what it means...his report says advanced loss of cerebellium. and a few small signal abnormal in the cerebrai white matter consistant with small vessel ischemic disease. I looked all this up and do not understand I went and talked to the doctor he basically says his brain is shrinking but said everyone does his is just advanced for his age. He takes meds and was in the hospital for a week last year-I see another huge difference in him again. I have to make him take a bath take his meds and give him things to do or he will watch game shows all day-I am so worried I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO-lst week he had an accident in his clothes and never noticed -he still gets out and drives and goes to the store but his world consists of a 10 mile trip-I tried to get him to the doctor 2 different times and he cancelled both times. He has also had back surgery and is now having back pain so he has agreed to go to the doctor but only for the back pain-what can I do I hate to leave sometimes. I cook everything unless he grills out-I have to work we have bills...our kids just get mad at him because he drinks and they say that is what is prob wrong ...just drunk ..he no longer can keep a conversation and he does fall a lot-outside-I am devastated he is only 61 years old and I just do not know what to do-When I have talked to him he says it is me he does not think anything is wrong that I should not be upset if he forgets something..this is not just a few things it is every day. he could not remember that he read blueprints -he used to go fishing and hunting that has not happened in years-it is too sad he has not got a very good quality of life and I do not know how to help him.We are going tomorrow to his doctor as he has to get a referral from him to see the back doctor-if he does not cancel-family members keep asking why I have not taken him to get checked out something is wrong -my reply is he will not go they say make him -I do not know
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi harper4, welcome to TP
    You've posted on a UK website so although there are many people from all over the world on here comments at this time of night are much less, by the morning (to you) no doubt lots will be along with some advise.
    I am assuming you're in the USA I hope that's correct.
    You've mentioned so many different issues (and I mean that in a good way) you've painted a very real picture of your situation, but it's such a big picture please give people time to take it in, think about what you've said and offer some advice.
    The help available to you depends on where you are and what they provide but us helping you is universal so post for yourself and the support you need as well as him.
    Don't be a stranger as you folks say:)
  3. harper4

    harper4 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015

    Thanks Yes I am in the USA and a very rural area as well-I plan to follow along on this to see what others are doing. Thanks for answering..this has been a long haul the bad days used to be 25% and 75% good days..but recently the % has flipped I normally would Never get on the computer and ask questions about such private matters but I am so worried that I may miss an opportunity to try to help-Faith is what keeps me going..
  4. harper4

    harper4 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    oh well...he just cancelled another Doctor appointment....so the cycle continues....I have missed a day of work(only one working) scheduled and cancelled for the 3rd time..tired...thanks everyone
  5. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    Fife Scotland
    Hi harper4, welcome to TP, I know I had a boss once who's mother has Dementia and it turned out because of excessive drinking when she was younger, I'm sure there will be plenty people who could maybe help, but in the mean time keep safe , thinking of you.
  6. quish16

    quish16 Registered User

    Jul 21, 2013
    Don't have any advice but I have a 76 year old with similar issues - 2 years ago brain scan showed significant atrophy. He too is mega forgetful but in total denial and tells me I am imagining it. Sadly, if your husband has 'mental capacity' you cannot force him to seek help. Wernicke Korskakoff syndrome is linked to heavy alcohol abuse - excuse spelling. Could you visit the doctor on your own and/or write to him expressing your concerns? Also, it may be of benefit to put him on high dose vitamin B? My husband is on this. Best of luck - being the partner of an alcoholic is one of the loneliest places in the world to be.
  7. harper4

    harper4 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015

    thanks I will do the vitamin B. I will try anything...I have talked to his Doctor Sev times he tells me this will probably get a lot worse..you are right...it seems like I am alone most of the time just getting thru the day..thanks for the advice.
  8. Aaron88ong

    Aaron88ong Registered User

    Feb 28, 2016
    Hope he is getting his vit b1 (thiamine) regularly. I am not a drinker and had part of my small intestine removed. The recovery at hospital (42 days) was badly managed. I had no bowel movements during the period and was not given thiamine infusion. Was then transferred to another hospital where the neurosurgeon there did a blood test and confirmed I was lack (0%) of thiamine in my system. Now, after 15 months of thiamine pills and injections monthly I am slowly recovering to my former self. Gait not normal and my hands only 30% of former strength.
    Oh why such long intro???
    Please ask your husband to slow down his beer consumption better if he stop altogether plus make sure he gets his vit B daily.
  9. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    Massachusetts USA
    Harper4 There are others on TP from the USA (we're in Massachusetts- where are you?) with much more experience than me and who will be able to give you more advice than I can. I do know you should contact yours or your husband's PCP immediately. Ours has been quite helpful.

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

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