Registered User
Jan 28, 2006
Armagh, Northern Ireland
My granny has quite advanced AZ and my granda has early-moderate VD (with a noted deteriation recently), the problem is that we have care in for my granny from 10am to 7pm mon-fri, which is great because we really want to keep her at home for as long as possible. At the moment we don't require care for my granda and anyway, when the carers are feeding my granny they feed him too, so no problem.
However, recently my grandad has been very very confused and doesn't understand that my granny is ill or where they live, since last Thursday he has thrown out 4 of the carers! The carers have been very upset, etc. by it all. Plus it means that my Mum has to drop everything to go and take care of my granny.
The problem is we're afraid of him turning violent with the carers and them withdrawing the care that my granny vitally needs, in other words my granda's behaviour is going to jepordise the care my granny gets. Any suggestions on how to handle this.....
The Drs say that my Granda is alcohol dependant so that's a problem too, his Gp has told my Mum to put him in to respite for a while but we don't feel he's ready for it yet and if he's in a strange place he goes beserk.....eek! Thanks for listening/reading!!



Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
What a dilemna! Dont think I can be of any help. But maybe the respite is the way to go - would your grandparents go into respite together?
Let us know how things go.
Love Helen

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Sony,

The biggest problem with alcohol dependency and respite care is withdrawal symptoms. How would your grandad manage if he wasn`t allowed to drink?

Helen`s suggestion af respite for both of them might solve some problems, but coming off the drink is going to be a big one.

Perhaps you need to get some further advice from your grandparents GP.

Take care

Love xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi sony, it's quite a problem, isn't it. The one with the fewer problems is making the situation impossible for the one who really needs help.

If your granda went into respite they might break his alcohol dependency, which might make the sitation at home a bit easier.

I do think though that you are going to have to start considering permanent care for them both, either together or separately. If your granda is going to be violent, carers will refuse to come.

I'm sorry, it's an awful situation. Your granda will be beyond reasoning with, and even if you could convince him to stop drinking today, he almost certainly wouldn't keep it up, or even remember.

Have you had a word with their social worker? She may have some suggestions.

Best wishes,


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
alcohol dependancy

Hi sony'
maybe grandad has a UTI and thats why he is being aggressive.As for alcohol dependancy.if the care home knows of this if he goes into respite they can contact his G.P and ask for directions as to how much he can consume considering his medication.Even better is if he goes into respite and it is out of his G.P area he will be temporarily registered with a local G.P who would hopefully give care staff a limit that may be way below his normal intake.Temporary G.Ps tend to air on the side of caution.Care staff will have to follow either instruction.I'm no expert but work in the care industry and am happy to help if i can.take care elainex