1. Jilly88

    Jilly88 Registered User

    Aug 11, 2006
    Margate, Kent.
    Hello all. Is it common for suffers of dementia to scream and shout? I look after a neighbour..(she has moved in with me) who is 92 and can't cope on her own. Her short term memory is almost gone but her long term memory is relatively ok. She shouts and screams for me constantly... this morning was 5am and it continued until 8.30 pm. I don't know what to do to help her, but by the same token I can't be in her room 24 hours a day to stop her from shouting. She won't go to any day centres for the mentally ill, she won't move out of her room, even though she can walk as well as I can. She shouts at me then can't remember what she said yet I do everything for her. Is this typical of Alzheimer's suffers? It's all a big nightmare. I've given up my life as I knew it as I cannot leave the house - even for a minute. Can any one help to shed some light on this behaviour? I'm lost and at my wits end. Thank you for any help you can give me. Jilly. x
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Jilly88

    I have moved your message to the main section of Talking Point where you should receive more replies.
  3. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Yes, unfortunately.

    I hope you are trying to get as much help as you can from NHS and Social Services. It doesn't sound as if you should be your neighbour's sole carer.


  4. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006

    Yes, this sounds familiar.

    I think what you are doing for your neighbour is wonderful. but you don't need to cope with this alone (and you shouldn't have to)

    Contact Alzheimer's Society or your local Social Services to find out what support is available

    I know she needs care.....but you have the right to have a life too !!!!

  5. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    I second what Jarnee says ...... you're an amazingly wonderful neighbour, but you can't do this all by yourself. Unfortunately it does seem fairly typical to shout and scream. Dad didn't do that, but lots of the people in his nursing home did. And my granny did when my mother cared for her at home with dementia when I was a kid. Utter nightmare :eek:
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    I would contact social services if I was you as it can get very stress full for you. My mum use to scream in the past not as long as your lady , social services can get a carer in few times a week while you get out and do what you need to do. My mum like that wants to know every move I do where I am in the house ,someone always has to be in if I go out .

    Getting help does not mean that you cannot cope. It show that you have the sense to realize you just can’t do it alone .

    Do you live alone with her ?
    How long have you been careing for her ?
    Have you contacted Socail Services in the past if not why not ?
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006

    Hallo Jilly 88

    How on earth have you enabled your neighbour to move in with you?

    I cared for my next door neighbour, but he remained in his own home.

    We got Social Services involved and he had carers, from Social Services, to look in on him 3 times daily. I did his shopping, cooked him an evening meal and did his washing, all in his own house.

    I`m sorry if I sound judgemental, I don`t mean to be, but your neighbour will not get the help she needs as long as the authorities feel you are there to take on the responsibility.

    Being a Good Neighbour is admirable but you could be making a rag for your own back.

    Sorry again if I sound too hard but the elderly and infirm should be provided for in their final years.

    Let Social Services know this lady is at risk if she has to live by herself, and 24 hour caring is too much for you, especially as she is so agressive.

    Good luck Gannie G

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