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Help!

Nannyslittlechip

New member
Apr 1, 2020
8
My mum has Alzheimer’s. diagnosed three years ago. My brother, his wife and one year old daughter live with her in her house. My auntie sent me a very rude text saying my mum should live with me and I’ve made the wrong choice. I work 8 til one Mon to Fri and also look after my Grandson two afternoons a week. I take her out every Tuesday afternoon and she stays with me one weekend a month. I’ve only been with my partner 18 months and moved in to his house last year so they obviously don’t know each other that well. He has said he would never even consider moving his mum in with us! Maybe years down the line that would be an option. She has a carer every morning for personal care and medication as my brother can’t do it. I totally understand why! I’m 51 and feel like I’m being made out to be really awful and It’s making me feel so guilty. I’d really appreciate any help xx
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,374
My mum has Alzheimer’s. diagnosed three years ago. My brother, his wife and one year old daughter live with her in her house. My auntie sent me a very rude text saying my mum should live with me and I’ve made the wrong choice. I work 8 til one Mon to Fri and also look after my Grandson two afternoons a week. I take her out every Tuesday afternoon and she stays with me one weekend a month. I’ve only been with my partner 18 months and moved in to his house last year so they obviously don’t know each other that well. He has said he would never even consider moving his mum in with us! Maybe years down the line that would be an option. She has a carer every morning for personal care and medication as my brother can’t do it. I totally understand why! I’m 51 and feel like I’m being made out to be really awful and It’s making me feel so guilty. I’d really appreciate any help xx
I can only echo other posters. Ignore her
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,516
If your mum is settled and happy and your brother is happy, don't let what your Auntie said upset you. You are doing a fair share of the caring to give your brother a break, it sounds like a good set-up; Auntie is making mischief.
 

Nannyslittlechip

New member
Apr 1, 2020
8
If your mum is settled and happy and your brother is happy, don't let what your Auntie said upset you. You are doing a fair share of the caring to give your brother a break, it sounds like a good set-up; Auntie is making mischief.
She’s obviously going worse at the moment with being stuck in the house. My brother does get her out for walks but she’s deteriorating fast. I suppose people on the outside always want to give their opinion but they don’t have to live with it. I’ve wrote her a very long letter explaining my reasons why she can’t live with me because it’s pointless doing it over the phone because it’s obvious there’ll be raised voices. Thankyou for your reply xx
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,665
South coast
I guess Auntie is of the generation where it was seen as a daughters duty to look after their parents. Well, that not how it works anymore! You have explained to her why you cannot do it, so dont contact her again and block her phone number if necessary.
 

Nannyslittlechip

New member
Apr 1, 2020
8
I guess Auntie is of the generation where it was seen as a daughters duty to look after their parents. Well, that not how it works anymore! You have explained to her why you cannot do it, so dont contact her again and block her phone number if necessary.
Thankyou xx