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Lizzyw

New member
Apr 1, 2020
3
Hi
My mum is 83 years young a mother of 8 nan to 19 and great nan to 23.
She is living in sheltered accommodation.
Jan this year she was admitted to hospital with pneumonia stayed in the 2 weeks discharged and 3 days later was admitted again with hospital pneumonia and stayed in another 12 days.
She has diterated ever since. Monday of this week she was happy confused on tuesday she was a mess fallen twice no idea where she was etc. Gp tested for uti that was clear. Mum was so bad by Thursday she had left her flat in middle of night and was found wondering by a member of public. Gp was so concerned she admitted her to hospital. Test were done and she was discharged medically fit. I Spoke to dementia crisis team who arranged for a assessment to be done on Sunday.
Saturday was even worse for mum and she ended up using a glass ornament to smash a window in her flat as she thought there were gunmen trying to kill her.
She was again admitted to hospital. She is there now but she is medically fit and they want her discharged. The manager of her flats quite rightly has said she cant return to her flat as carers cannot deal with mum. We cannot get in touch with her social worker. We cannot see her and each day we speak to her she is worse. Today the nurses had to put the sides up on her bed as she was trying to leave the ward a number of times.
I totally understand the problems hospitals etc are having now.
What can I do now. Its heartbreaking we are as a family broken and do not know what to do next. Will we ever get our precious mum back at least to her happy confused.
Thank you.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,503
N Ireland
That’s a terrible situation and I feel for you.

Things are quite abnormal at the moment so I wonder if a chat with the experts on the helpline would point you in the right direction. The details are

Dementia Connect support line
0333 150 3456
Our dementia advisers are here for you.
Or, if you speak Welsh, call our Welsh-speaking support line on 03300 947 400.
Our dementia advisers will listen and give you the support and advice you need, including coronavirus advice, connecting you to help you need.
Phone support is available seven days a week:
Support line opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday10am – 4pm
*Calls charged at standard local rate.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,578
South coast
There should be a Social Worker attached to the hospital - could you try and speak to him/her? Make it plain that she has nowhere to return to, so the onus is on the hospital to find somewhere. Normally I would suggest that you go round and look at care homes, but unfortunately, at the moment they are all in lock-down.
 

Lesley Carol

New member
Apr 1, 2020
2
Hi
My mum is 83 years young a mother of 8 nan to 19 and great nan to 23.
She is living in sheltered accommodation.
Jan this year she was admitted to hospital with pneumonia stayed in the 2 weeks discharged and 3 days later was admitted again with hospital pneumonia and stayed in another 12 days.
She has diterated ever since. Monday of this week she was happy confused on tuesday she was a mess fallen twice no idea where she was etc. Gp tested for uti that was clear. Mum was so bad by Thursday she had left her flat in middle of night and was found wondering by a member of public. Gp was so concerned she admitted her to hospital. Test were done and she was discharged medically fit. I Spoke to dementia crisis team who arranged for a assessment to be done on Sunday.
Saturday was even worse for mum and she ended up using a glass ornament to smash a window in her flat as she thought there were gunmen trying to kill her.
She was again admitted to hospital. She is there now but she is medically fit and they want her discharged. The manager of her flats quite rightly has said she cant return to her flat as carers cannot deal with mum. We cannot get in touch with her social worker. We cannot see her and each day we speak to her she is worse. Today the nurses had to put the sides up on her bed as she was trying to leave the ward a number of times.
I totally understand the problems hospitals etc are having now.
What can I do now. Its heartbreaking we are as a family broken and do not know what to do next. Will we ever get our precious mum back at least to her happy confused.
Thank you.
At this time with C-19.. all hospitals are moving patients with no C-19 to other places e.g. private hospitals; finding a care home that specializes in dementia is the only solution. They can then administer drugs that can calm her and keep her safe. Try ringing care homes to see they would take her on a temporary basis.... with the view she would be there permanently!
Not sure if homes are taking new residents, but it worth a try!
 

Lizzyw

New member
Apr 1, 2020
3
At this time with C-19.. all hospitals are moving patients with no C-19 to other places e.g. private hospitals; finding a care home that specializes in dementia is the only solution. They can then administer drugs that can calm her and keep her safe. Try ringing care homes to see they would take her on a temporary basis.... with the view she would be there permanently!
Not sure if homes are taking new residents, but it worth a try!
Thank you will give it a go.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,130
Yorkshire
hello @Lizzyw
a warm welcome from me too

such a worrying time for you

there should be a dementia matron /manager (or some similar title ) at the hospital, ask to speak with them and email as back up if possible ... check the hospital website

the hospital PALS may be able to help

contact Admiral Nurses as they are there to support carers ... make it clear this is an emergency situation as you fear another discharge

there should also be a disharge manager/Social worker .... when you speak with anyone mention 'failed discharges' as this is what is happening ... that your mum is a vulnerable adult at risk of harm due to neglect (no reflection on you, words to get attention) and the Local Authoritiy has the duty of care to ensure her identified care needs are met

this site lists dementia care homes

if your mum is self funding, you can make arrangements yourself if you find a home with a space
this will help explain funding
 

Lizzyw

New member
Apr 1, 2020
3
At this time with C-19.. all hospitals are moving patients with no C-19 to other places e.g. private hospitals; finding a care home that specializes in dementia is the only solution. They can then administer drugs that can calm her and keep her safe. Try ringing care homes to see they would take her on a temporary basis.... with the view she would be there permanently!
Not sure if homes are taking new residents, but it worth a try!
Thank you all
Had a call from hospital this morning they are moving her to a care home. So for now she will be safe.