One step forward two steps back.
I have been off the air for a while due to computer problems, and I really missed not being able to talk (type) to members.
Well, I have mentioned in the past about my husband who has Vascular (dementia!!) but the doctor at the memory clinic told me my husband did not have dementia. So, can anyone define what dementia is and please tell me, I would love to know.
The very last time I spoke about my husband and his driving, lots of you advised me to speak to my doctor, which I plucked up courage and did. I told her all about his trances that he was having, approx every 5 weeks, (although I must say he hasn't had one since May '08 which is very good) and I had to beg the doctor to see if she could do something to get him to stop driving,she told me that he shouldn't be driving because of these trances,(he has had 2 car crashes within 5 months of each other, with the cars written off) which I had told you all. Anyway cut a long story short, she said she will see what she could do. The DVLA rang my husband to say that they were looking into his medical history. The doctor rang my husband to ask him to call and see her which he did. I was thinking horray she will be getting the ball rolling so he won't be able to drive anymore.My husband has been to see a Neurologist,and my husband told me that he was pleased with him and would be sending a report to his doctor. (My husband wouldn't let me go with him to the hospital, in case I stitched him up).
Just a few weeks ago the DVLA sent a letter to my husband saying that he can still carry on driving, words to that affect.
I am now back to square one,we had a terrible row,he said that I should have been estatic that the DVLA have found nothing wrong with him. He seems to believe that there is nothing wrong with him and I'm the only one that thinks there is.
As my husband is 76 yrs old he has had a form from the DVLA to renew his licence, but he is not going to tell them about his medical condition, only because he doesn't believe he has one.
So what do I do now I ask myself. I have been doing the driving,but that was because we had a big row and I told him I will not be a passenger with him driving, but now since the DVLA letter, he got very agitated when I said I still wasn't going to be a passenger with him,then he went on to say life is finished for him if I wouldn't let him drive, so I gave in, now I have to let him drive and I really really hate it, I get so stressed up inside of me. It is all making me feel so ill, I want to run away, but I know I won't do that, as deep down I know he is ill. I feel that I am in a prison and can't escape, every day I wake up I have this black cloud hanging over me. I am only 61yrs old but I feel 81.
I just don't think life is going to get better anymore. I know there are plenty of you out there having a far worse time then me and I really sympathise with you all, so I do feel bad just moaning, but I have got no one else to talk to.Is there anyone who can show me how I can cope better.
Juliebabs.