1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Juliebabs

    Juliebabs Registered User

    Jul 30, 2007
    12
    Buckinghamshire
    :(:My husband who was diagnosed with Vascular last year. (I was told at the time it is not dementia). His short term memory is getting worse. The thing I want to ask is, he goes into what I call a trance, where he just stares, his lips go blue, and he looks like he is eating a sweet. I can shout at him but he doesn't hear. When he comes round after a few minutes he talks to me but keeps repeating the same thing over and over again. Then he seems to be really tired and sleeps for quite a few hours.

    Does anyone know of anyone suffering this condition, and also is it anything to do with having a mini stroke, or is it TIA.

    I would be grateful if there is anyone out there that could give me some information on this, as I haven't read anything that sounds like the symptoms that my husband is suffering.

    Juliebabs.
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Juliebabs,
    My husband Peter had quite a few mini strokes and he would show the same symptoms as you are explaining. I always took Peter to the Doctor to have it checked out.
    To put your mind at rest and in my personal opinion going to the Doctor to have check up would be advisable as they are so unpredictable.
    Good luck
    Christine
     
  3. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Dear Juliebabs

    I haven't experienced this with my husband but it does certainly sound like something that warrants getting your GP involved.

    Best wishes

    Helen
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,721
    Kent
    It does sound like a TIA Juliebabs and I would definitely get your husband to the GP as soon as possible.

    I have just realized it is Friday. :eek: If you cannot get through to your GP`s surgery before it closes for the weekend, I`d phone NHS Direct for advice. 0845 46 47
     
  5. Juliebabs

    Juliebabs Registered User

    Jul 30, 2007
    12
    Buckinghamshire
    In Response

    Thank you for your comments.

    You have all advised me to go with my husband to our GP which is very sensible advise, so a few weeks ago my husband had about 2 or 3 of these (what I call trances) in the day. I was very concerned about it, so I rang our GP and told him how worried I was, and our GP said there is nothing that can be done and all you can do for him is try to re-assure him and get him to have a sleep. When I questioned our GP as to whether my husband was having mini strokes, he said no they are not strokes.

    So you can see I am very confused.

    I now have extra worries on top about his driving, which I have mentioned in the past. Well, he has had his 2nd accident within 5 months of each other, fortunately, no one was injured, but my car that he was driving has been written off, and his car in the 1st accident was written off. Of course he has said he wasn't to blame.

    The next installment is that he has now had a letter from the DVLA wanting permission from him to give them his medical details. My husband and I have had lots of arguments about his driving, he said he might as well stop living and throw himself under a train if he is stopped from driving. He has filled in the forms and has written a letter to say he is not aware of any medical condition. He couldn't get in to see his favourite doctor for a while,so he has handed them in to her to look at and she has sent them back to say he can now pass them on to DVLA.

    The thing is he is not driving illegally, as I read the fact sheet on driving and it does say if someone has been diagnosed with dementia then it should be reported, but my husband was only diagnosed with Vascular, and the Consultant said it isn't dementia. I have got to say that sometimes he drives ok, but other times I feel very nervous as a passenger.I am alwlays looking at him and wondering if he is going to have one of his trances.

    So, can someone please advise me as to what I should do. Do I do a terrible thing and go behind his back and talk to our GP.or should I let things take their course, and wait until the DVLA have looked into his medical record. In the meantime of course, he will carry on driving as I am unable to stop him.

    Juliebabs.
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,721
    Kent
    Julie,

    I`m afraid to say you must go behind your husband`s back, tell his GP he refuses to disclose his condition to the DVLA, and as for it to be done for him.

    He has already had accidents in a short space of time. he has written off 2 cars. He might have written off 2 people. Please don`t take that chance.

    I can only think of a couple of TP members who have volunteered to give up their licences. The rest have fought tooth and nail. It`s something that has to be faced.

    You are confused by your husband`s diagnosis, but you are not confused by his failing ability to be a safe driver.

    Sorry to be so blunt, but if your husband has these lapses/episodes/trances there is no way he is fit to drive.
     
  7. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Hello Julie

    First of all I'm not a GP but I would like to question how any GP can say what those trance like states are without appropriate scans or referral to the specialist stroke unit. I think some things are too important to be left to someone's opinion. One of my friends (now dead) went to the doctor with a lump above her breast. She was told it was a cyst and not to worry. These days things like this are not left to anyone's opinion, they are tested.

    My husband's condition FTD was diagnosed from various scans and tests. When it was at the opinion stage I was told it could have been all sorts of things!!!

    Anyway I suppose I am saying that you wouldn't be out of place insisting that your husband is checked out by the stroke unit so that your worried can be alleviated and your loved one properly checked out.

    Regarding driving, I had the same problem with Alan and in the end I knew the responsibility would come down to me because of the dementia. I went to the doctor and told her my worries and she immediately wrote to him asking him to stop driving and inform the DVLA immediately. There was no choice then because driving after that would have been illegal. Maybe you should ask yourself what would happen if anyone were to get seriously injured or killed and it came to court. Would your husband be help responsible or would you? I knew I just didn't want to ever be in that position so I took steps to look after myself, my husband and the general public. Alan did get used to it of course but he wasn't a happy bunny for quite a while. If an accident had occurred there would have been a lot more stress to deal with!!

    Sorry if I've gone on too long.

    Love Helen
     
  8. pinkjandt

    pinkjandt Registered User

    Apr 11, 2008
    25
    hampshire
    Hello Julie

    Just to let you know that the trances you mention are something
    that terry has suffered from for the last two years.

    he has had 5 in the last 6 monthes,he has almost the same symptons although terry is bent over to the right and has trouble standing upright for several hours.

    he too sleeps for hours afterwards,i have found that making him eat something light helps put him back on an even keel

    the hospital has confirmed that terry has AD.and that these episodes are probably mini strokes.

    i hope this helps
    Jan
     
  9. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Julie,

    It sounds very much as though your husband is having TIAs..

    Vascular Dementia is Dementia..and if the consultant is saying it's not then I would ask for a second opinion! It sounds to me as though your husband should have a proper reassessment of his condition.

    As for the driving..Eric went through hell when they told him not to drive..he too was going to kill himself. But I'd reached the same stage as you..being very nervous about being a passenger with him. he too had had a couple of accidents..not his fault. It's so important to stop him driving when it reaches this point..and I know how difficult it will be for you having to live with him..but he'll get over it eventually.
    It sounds as though things are moving to the point when you are going to have take the matter out of his hands..

    Sorry to be so blunt..i have your best interest at heart..I want you alive and well and on TP!![​IMG]

    Love gigi xx
     
  10. Juliebabs

    Juliebabs Registered User

    Jul 30, 2007
    12
    Buckinghamshire
    In Response

    I have read your comments which I must say has helped me to decide what needs to be done.

    I will heed your advice and go to visit our GP a.s.a.p. Will let you know the outcome.

    Juliebabs.
     
  11. Juliebabs

    Juliebabs Registered User

    Jul 30, 2007
    12
    Buckinghamshire
    One step forward two steps back.

    I have been off the air for a while due to computer problems, and I really missed not being able to talk (type) to members.

    Well, I have mentioned in the past about my husband who has Vascular (dementia!!) but the doctor at the memory clinic told me my husband did not have dementia. So, can anyone define what dementia is and please tell me, I would love to know.

    The very last time I spoke about my husband and his driving, lots of you advised me to speak to my doctor, which I plucked up courage and did. I told her all about his trances that he was having, approx every 5 weeks, (although I must say he hasn't had one since May '08 which is very good) and I had to beg the doctor to see if she could do something to get him to stop driving,she told me that he shouldn't be driving because of these trances,(he has had 2 car crashes within 5 months of each other, with the cars written off) which I had told you all. Anyway cut a long story short, she said she will see what she could do. The DVLA rang my husband to say that they were looking into his medical history. The doctor rang my husband to ask him to call and see her which he did. I was thinking horray she will be getting the ball rolling so he won't be able to drive anymore.My husband has been to see a Neurologist,and my husband told me that he was pleased with him and would be sending a report to his doctor. (My husband wouldn't let me go with him to the hospital, in case I stitched him up).

    Just a few weeks ago the DVLA sent a letter to my husband saying that he can still carry on driving, words to that affect.

    I am now back to square one,we had a terrible row,he said that I should have been estatic that the DVLA have found nothing wrong with him. He seems to believe that there is nothing wrong with him and I'm the only one that thinks there is.

    As my husband is 76 yrs old he has had a form from the DVLA to renew his licence, but he is not going to tell them about his medical condition, only because he doesn't believe he has one.

    So what do I do now I ask myself. I have been doing the driving,but that was because we had a big row and I told him I will not be a passenger with him driving, but now since the DVLA letter, he got very agitated when I said I still wasn't going to be a passenger with him,then he went on to say life is finished for him if I wouldn't let him drive, so I gave in, now I have to let him drive and I really really hate it, I get so stressed up inside of me. It is all making me feel so ill, I want to run away, but I know I won't do that, as deep down I know he is ill. I feel that I am in a prison and can't escape, every day I wake up I have this black cloud hanging over me. I am only 61yrs old but I feel 81.

    I just don't think life is going to get better anymore. I know there are plenty of you out there having a far worse time then me and I really sympathise with you all, so I do feel bad just moaning, but I have got no one else to talk to.Is there anyone who can show me how I can cope better.



    Juliebabs.
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Juliebabs

    There is a disease called Vascular Disease, which may affect different organs, including the brain. This may be what the doctor thinks your husband has.

    http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/vasculardiseases.htm

    You should also read the AS factsheet on Vascular Dementia, and compare the symptoms. If you are not satisfied with the diagnosis, you should go back to your GP and insist on further tests.

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/402

    Regarding the driving, I really think you should stand firm on this, whatever the threats. Your and your husband's lives are at risk, as are other road users. Add to that, if he doesn't disclose his illness on the form, his insurance will be invalid.

    It's hard to cope, and especially hard when the medics are not helping. Have to contacted your local branch of Alzheimer's Society, and Princess Royal Trust for carers? Both of those will be able to offer you support.

    Sorry I can't be more help, it's a hard road.

    Love,
     

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