help with toilet problems and cleanliness

[Sandy47]

My husband who has Alzheimers has been able to carry out his own personal hygiene and manage the toilet with no help until now.
He's begun to urinate on the bathroom floor, usually at night, and is reluctant to have a shower or wash, or change his clothes.
I can use a motion sensor at night to alert me when he is up and get to him quickly but, after a while I have to turn it off because I am unable to get any sleep myself. That's when the accidents happen.
I cannot get to the reason why he no longer wants to wash or shower.

I am going to try a red, raised toilet seat to see if that helps but don't know what else to do.

There must be so many people out there with the same problem. I would appreciate any advise. I am his sole carer so wondered if it was time to get someone else in who might have more success, particularly with personal hygiene?

 

[Cat27]

I think getting carers in to help with showering etc is a good idea @Sandy47

 

[Pusskins]

@Sandy47 I am in exactly the same position and have recently started with care assistants coming in. It is often something that has to be taken slowly. So far the care worker has managed to shave MH, comb his hair and wash his face, but I think it will take a while before MH agrees to letting her help him shower. I don't think it's that they don't want to wash; they are either afraid of the water or can't remember that it's normal to wash and shower or they feel vulnerable without their clothes on. I am going to suggest putting a large towel around MH's waist next time I try to get him to undress to change his clothes. I can usually get him to remove trousers etc, but he balks when it comes to underpants. Good luck, I know how stressful this is.

 

[TNJJ]

My husband who has Alzheimers has been able to carry out his own personal hygiene and manage the toilet with no help until now.
He's begun to urinate on the bathroom floor, usually at night, and is reluctant to have a shower or wash, or change his clothes.
I can use a motion sensor at night to alert me when he is up and get to him quickly but, after a while I have to turn it off because I am unable to get any sleep myself. That's when the accidents happen.
I cannot get to the reason why he no longer wants to wash or shower.

I am going to try a red, raised toilet seat to see if that helps but don't know what else to do.

There must be so many people out there with the same problem. I would appreciate any advise. I am his sole carer so wondered if it was time to get someone else in who might have more success, particularly with personal hygiene?

It is a good idea to have someone else come in to shower him etc. Very often PWD will take helpful advice from someone else other than their OH.

 

[Bunpoots]

I’ve seen it suggested that if someone with dementia wants to keep their underwear on while bathing/showering it’s best to let them as they won’t want to keep them on once they’re wet... it might have been a Teepa Snow video. She’s very good at getting PWD to co-operate.

 

[Sandy47]

It is a good idea to have someone else come in to shower him etc. Very often PWD will take helpful advice from someone else other than their OH.

Thank you for the reply. I'll give it a try.

 

[Sandy47]

I’ve seen it suggested that if someone with dementia wants to keep their underwear on while bathing/showering it’s best to let them as they won’t want to keep them on once they’re wet... it might have been a Teepa Snow video. She’s very good at getting PWD to co-operate.

Thank you for the reply. You're right about not wanting to keep wet underwear on so may be the solution.

 

[Sandy47]

@Sandy47 I am in exactly the same position and have recently started with care assistants coming in. It is often something that has to be taken slowly. So far the care worker has managed to shave MH, comb his hair and wash his face, but I think it will take a while before MH agrees to letting her help him shower. I don't think it's that they don't want to wash; they are either afraid of the water or can't remember that it's normal to wash and shower or they feel vulnerable without their clothes on. I am going to suggest putting a large towel around MH's waist next time I try to get him to undress to change his clothes. I can usually get him to remove trousers etc, but he balks when it comes to underpants. Good luck, I know how stressful this is.

Thank you for the reply. It helped a lot. I have tried to find out his adversity to showering and I think its each of the things you pointed out, but at different times. Last time I did offer a towel to protect his modesty, but in the end left him to have a wash. Taking things slowly is the key, but whenever I think I've solved the problem, it doesn't work next time. You're comments are very encouraging , thank you.

 

[Woo2]

I hold a towel up while mum removes her underwear , the shower I just put it on and say mum shower is running ,once she is in the shower I slowly turn the shower head round and let her know , it seems to shock her each time otherwise . She has become almost afraid of the water until she is in there . Toilet well I’m not having so much luck on that one so have no useful advice sorry.