Help with showering

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Vic10, Jul 5, 2019.

  1. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,322
    East of England
    Makes me feel very bad because I cannot get him to shower that often, I am lucky if I can get him to shower once a week but it’s not quite so hot and steamy here.
     
  2. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    57
    Unfortunately OH not sufficiently mobile to get in or out of a bath nowadays. I certainly see the advantages. Thanks for your reply
     
  3. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    57
    Once a week is my aim....sadly I’m failing!
     
  4. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    655
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
     
  5. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    655
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    I have two tiny suggestions to add.
    When I suggest the shower I usually suggest some special reason Eg ‘you are getting your hair cut today- it will be nice to smell lovely for the barber” -?etc
    And if I get a negative I say “ well I guess you will be happy to have one tomorrow “
    Trying to get in early !
     
  6. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,322
    East of England
    Funny this should come up today because today was shower day, with not too much resistance. I weighed him and another 2.5 kgs down but it’s very difficult getting him to eat. I sometimes wonder if it’s the body’s way of saying that he has had enough. I know that people in extremis won’t eat from my nursing days, which certainly happened to my mother when she was dying. His skin is very fragile and flaky and I put some lanolin cream on liberally before his shower and some will remain. He needed a change of clothes because he got food stains on them when I didn’t make sure he had his serviette. It’s a slow but steady decline.
     
  7. rhubarbtree

    rhubarbtree Registered User

    Jan 7, 2015
    462
    North West
    Hi Grahamstown,

    Strange isn't it when you gird yourself up ready for resistance and it doesn't happen. I have tried to analyse if it is what I say or tone of voice but cannot work it out.
     
  8. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    398
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    I don't know if it's what I say or tone of voice either, but it works with taking tablets and it works with showering. But that's all. With anything else all I get is "stop nagging woman".
     
  9. Justmary

    Justmary Registered User

    Jul 12, 2018
    47
    Female
    West Midlands
    Oh that's made me laugh. Whenever I get called "woman" I know he's beginning to get annoyed
     
  10. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    70
    Hi.. We have a shower which is small and has a step into it.. I have to help my OH to shower which is difficult to say the least.. Have to have the door open and I get soaked.. OHhas difficulty turning.. Rand social services to see if they could help with the cost of replacing it.. Was told they didn't see it as a priority as I could wash him in other ways.. (tin bath in front of the fire?).. and in any case it could be up to 9 months before they could assess it.. Going to finance it ourselves.. I am lucky to have attendance allowance... So as usual on our own xxxx
     
  11. Roseleigh

    Roseleigh Registered User

    Dec 26, 2016
    149
     
  12. Roseleigh

    Roseleigh Registered User

    Dec 26, 2016
    149
    As your husband has managed himself up till now I imagine all he will need is for you to stand outside and give him directions. No need to get wet at all! I get my husband to shampoo his hair as well.
     
  13. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    337
    Hi.My dad cannot get in his shower and hasn’t been able to for years.The carers do a strip wash every day.Once a month he goes to daycare and has meals at the care home,plus a bath.He travels in a wheelchair by taxi.But there are centres that provide meals and washing facilities for people with difficulties.Maybe worth looking into when the time comes.
     
  14. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    70
     
  15. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    70
    Hi.. I'm afraid my husband is not able to follow any instructions.. Could in the past but the condition has progressed in the last few months.. Even the simplest task is beyond me explaining to him.. No way could he shower himself and wash his hair.. So I'm afraid I will have to continue to do the best I can....
     
  16. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    337
    Hi.I have just had a thought.If your husband was in the forces,the British Legion can help with the bathroom..They can help with doorways,wet rooms etc.
     
  17. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    70
    Hi.. Thanks for your interest.. Unfortunately he hasn't been in the forces..and I have now strained my back and have codine pills from the doctor.. Which is making things more difficult..
     
  18. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    70
    Thanks to everyone who has posted on this issue.. So reassuring to know others have the same issues.. And good suggestions.. Xxx
     
  19. Roseleigh

    Roseleigh Registered User

    Dec 26, 2016
    149
    Oh fair enough. I did mean very simple instructions as in : put the gel on the sponge, wash your armpit, now the other one...
     
  20. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    641
    I rang SS & GP ( repetitively I actually got bored of doing it myself it was a long drawn out process!) as neglecting personal hygiene is part of the care package criteria.
    No the hyper sexual stage is awkward enough - my Dad propositioned me. Totally out of character & awkward to laugh off & diffuse !!! Meanwhile my mother is man mad & has her neighbours running for cover!!
    I have been told that daycare centres offer bath facilities, also if you can get your PWD to respite care then that’s another way to start a routine.
    I hasten to add my mother is resistant to all of this & only since a long stay in hospital after another crisis have we got care package in her own home in place; & it’s a total relief to not have that hygiene battle on top of everything else.
     

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