Help with showering

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
91
Any chance of using a bath? So far my OH still loves a bath. He was always a shower man, but I found he was not getting himself clean enough. Now after my bath I say..".yeah le'ts save water why don't you use my bath too!" As he is physically still fit at 66 to get in and out of the bath....I get a better result from the effort. I help him to get those areas I worry about smelling and cleanliness. He is still very willing and I am so grateful. But we do have a nice walk in shower on the first floor when the time comes. The nylon things sound like a very good tip @Lawson58. That is what I love about talking point...suggestion for everything.
Unfortunately OH not sufficiently mobile to get in or out of a bath nowadays. I certainly see the advantages. Thanks for your reply
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
91
Makes me feel very bad because I cannot get him to shower that often, I am lucky if I can get him to shower once a week but it’s not quite so hot and steamy here.
Once a week is my aim....sadly I’m failing!
 

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
665
New South Wales Australia
I have two tiny suggestions to add.
When I suggest the shower I usually suggest some special reason Eg ‘you are getting your hair cut today- it will be nice to smell lovely for the barber” -?etc
And if I get a negative I say “ well I guess you will be happy to have one tomorrow “
Trying to get in early !
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,583
East of England
Funny this should come up today because today was shower day, with not too much resistance. I weighed him and another 2.5 kgs down but it’s very difficult getting him to eat. I sometimes wonder if it’s the body’s way of saying that he has had enough. I know that people in extremis won’t eat from my nursing days, which certainly happened to my mother when she was dying. His skin is very fragile and flaky and I put some lanolin cream on liberally before his shower and some will remain. He needed a change of clothes because he got food stains on them when I didn’t make sure he had his serviette. It’s a slow but steady decline.
 

rhubarbtree

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
478
North West
Hi Grahamstown,

Strange isn't it when you gird yourself up ready for resistance and it doesn't happen. I have tried to analyse if it is what I say or tone of voice but cannot work it out.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
653
Basingstoke, Hampshire
I don't know if it's what I say or tone of voice either, but it works with taking tablets and it works with showering. But that's all. With anything else all I get is "stop nagging woman".
 

Justmary

Registered User
Jul 12, 2018
79
West Midlands
I don't know if it's what I say or tone of voice either, but it works with taking tablets and it works with showering. But that's all. With anything else all I get is "stop nagging woman".
Oh that's made me laugh. Whenever I get called "woman" I know he's beginning to get annoyed
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
141
Hi.. We have a shower which is small and has a step into it.. I have to help my OH to shower which is difficult to say the least.. Have to have the door open and I get soaked.. OHhas difficulty turning.. Rand social services to see if they could help with the cost of replacing it.. Was told they didn't see it as a priority as I could wash him in other ways.. (tin bath in front of the fire?).. and in any case it could be up to 9 months before they could assess it.. Going to finance it ourselves.. I am lucky to have attendance allowance... So as usual on our own xxxx
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
291
As your husband has managed himself up till now I imagine all he will need is for you to stand outside and give him directions. No need to get wet at all! I get my husband to shampoo his hair as well.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,042
cornwall
Hi.My dad cannot get in his shower and hasn’t been able to for years.The carers do a strip wash every day.Once a month he goes to daycare and has meals at the care home,plus a bath.He travels in a wheelchair by taxi.But there are centres that provide meals and washing facilities for people with difficulties.Maybe worth looking into when the time comes.
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
141
Hi.. I'm afraid my husband is not able to follow any instructions.. Could in the past but the condition has progressed in the last few months.. Even the simplest task is beyond me explaining to him.. No way could he shower himself and wash his hair.. So I'm afraid I will have to continue to do the best I can....
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,042
cornwall
Hi.. I'm afraid my husband is not able to follow any instructions.. Could in the past but the condition has progressed in the last few months.. Even the simplest task is beyond me explaining to him.. No way could he shower himself and wash his hair.. So I'm afraid I will have to continue to do the best I can....
Hi.I have just had a thought.If your husband was in the forces,the British Legion can help with the bathroom..They can help with doorways,wet rooms etc.
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
141
Hi.I have just had a thought.If your husband was in the forces,the British Legion can help with the bathroom..They can help with doorways,wet rooms etc.
Hi.. Thanks for your interest.. Unfortunately he hasn't been in the forces..and I have now strained my back and have codine pills from the doctor.. Which is making things more difficult..
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
141
Amazing that this thread is in action because this morning I seized my chance when he came down wearing his night clothes. I have stopped trying to keep him acting normal so he had his breakfast and then I said shower now. He is compliant now whereas before he was very resistant and complaining but it’s still an ordeal for both of us. So he has had a shower using olive oil soap for his skin, a pedicure and foot oil for his feet and is back in bed exhausted. Is he happy with all this spa stuff? No he is not and I guess I can’t blame him because his skin and feet are very sensitive and he squeals as if I am doing an operation. Clean clothes today as well which is also tricky. Physical weakness means that he is a semi-nursing case now.
Thanks to everyone who has posted on this issue.. So reassuring to know others have the same issues.. And good suggestions.. Xxx
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
291
Hi.. I'm afraid my husband is not able to follow any instructions.. Could in the past but the condition has progressed in the last few months.. Even the simplest task is beyond me explaining to him.. No way could he shower himself and wash his hair.. So I'm afraid I will have to continue to do the best I can....
Oh fair enough. I did mean very simple instructions as in : put the gel on the sponge, wash your armpit, now the other one...
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,410
It is becoming increasingly difficult to get my OH to shower, I know this is a regular problem.
So far he refuses help but I do feel he is reaching a stage, or soon will where he needs it.
Sorry if this is a really stupid question but how exactly do you help someone to shower without getting soaked?
I have no intention of joining him in the shower as we have been through the ‘hypersexual’ stage and I do not want to go there again! (Sorry if that is a bit insensitive)
Any advise would be appreciated
I rang SS & GP ( repetitively I actually got bored of doing it myself it was a long drawn out process!) as neglecting personal hygiene is part of the care package criteria.
No the hyper sexual stage is awkward enough - my Dad propositioned me. Totally out of character & awkward to laugh off & diffuse !!! Meanwhile my mother is man mad & has her neighbours running for cover!!
I have been told that daycare centres offer bath facilities, also if you can get your PWD to respite care then that’s another way to start a routine.
I hasten to add my mother is resistant to all of this & only since a long stay in hospital after another crisis have we got care package in her own home in place; & it’s a total relief to not have that hygiene battle on top of everything else.