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help with getting LA funding


Registered User
Apr 26, 2015

My dad has vascular dementia and it has got to a point where my Mum cannot look after him (for both of their sakes). Have just been allocated a SW and they are making me jump through hoops to get him into a care home saying that they prefer to keep the care at home (obviously to cut costs). Any advice from people who have gone through this would be great. Thanks you


Registered User
Dec 29, 2012
Hi Mariagm

I am in the same position as you, at the same stage. There are loads of posts about the problems of getting the LA to agree to residential care. You can check out mine here


It's a long thread, you might want to scan it quickly, but there is some excellent advice in it from other TP'ers about what to do.

My LA are still talking about keeping Dad in his home even if I refuse to care for him anymore due to my own stress, ill health, full time job and burnout (he is alone, my mum died last year) - good luck to them. The LA is millions of pounds in debt so they want as few people in care homes as possible because it costs £1000+ just for minimum care in a care home (people with more demanding needs have to pay much more).

As one TP'er said to me, you might just have to let them take the strain by refusing to care for him anymore. Basically I think both you and your Mum will have to refuse before they will carry out an assessment of his needs with a view to placement. If he is judged incapable after an assessment they will then put a care package in place, which may involve a move to a care home or care in his own home provided by outsiders.
It is absolutely heartbreaking to refuse to care. I don't want to do it but I have to for the sake of my health. If your Mum wasn't around, what then? They would have to care for him. You have a right to your own life, you are not legally responsible for your Dad.
Good luck - sending you hugs and lots of virtual support:)
Jane xx


Registered User
May 21, 2014
Remember one thing: no person can be forced to look after another. The duty of care lies with the state, not with the family. If your mum refuses to care for him, SS will have to step in, and whether they'd prefer to keep him at home is irrelevant. Of course they would, it saves them money.

Saying that you refuse care and actually doing it are two different things, and SS bank on the fact that you wouldn't go through with any threats. But threaten you must. Say your mum suffers from carers breakdown, she can't be forced to look after him and if a care home is not found within the week, you will take him to A & E and leave him there. Get charities like Alzheimer's Society, the Carers Centre or Age UK involved. They can act as advocates and provide practical and emotional support.

Best of luck.