help where to begin

sarahturner

New member
Oct 15, 2021
1
0
please help havent got clue where to start my parents are 80 yrs old dad just been told he has alzheimers,how or what can i do to make this alittle easier for them both my dad always been head strong man and worry so much for what is ahead .????
 

Travelling_wilbury

New member
Oct 15, 2021
1
0
please help havent got clue where to start my parents are 80 yrs old dad just been told he has alzheimers,how or what can i do to make this alittle easier for them both my dad always been head strong man and worry so much for what is ahead .????
If this is just your dad that is affected , in my experience, I would look at contacting the local dementia care team (if your local authority have one) and checking if they can provide guidance, maybe some local social clubs and activities that your dad may enjoy. Also investigate if a carer per day could be provided or employed by yourself as this will make it easier on you and your dad. I have found that being a carer and family is a tricky situation and can lead to confrontations and resentment - they see it as a loss of their independence. Also maybe look at obtaining an assessment by Occupational Therapy to provide eqpt etc for the house to maintain your dads independence and safety. There is so much assistance and guidance out there that maybe isn't made easily available - please don't be afraid to ask, the sooner the better and possibly the easier it will be in the long run.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,958
0
Welcome, please keep using this forum, your situation is far from unique.
Get help in as soon as you can, be it just house cleaning, gardener, the idea is to get both parents used to care coming into the house.
Get Lasting Power of Attorney arranged, for both of them, finance and health.
Get them both used to you accompanying them to GP and hospital appointments.

Bod
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hi @sarahturner and welcome to Talking Point.

Its always overwhelming when someone close to you gets a diagnosis of dementia and your head is in a whirl trying to come to terms with it.

At this stage its best to get practical things like getting your dad to make a will and arranging POA, if he hasnt already. You probably wont need either of them just yet, but best to get done well beforehand - if you leave it until they are needed its too late! Your dad should be eligible for Attendance Allowance if he gets his state pension, or PIP if hes still of working age. Neither of them are means tested, but the forms are complicated and I would recommend you get Age UK or Citizens advice to help you. Once your dad has that he will be eligible for Council Tax disregard (not reduction, disregard) which is also not means tested.

Other than that, it depends how far along he is. I really would agree with @Bod in getting in help as soon as possible, I started with someone to help with housework from Age UKs Home Help scheme. It gives me a bit more time and she has become like a friend. It also introduced OH to the idea of other people coming into the house. I made the classic mistake of not wanting carers in to help OH when he needed help with washing and dressing, thinking I needed to do it all myself. There is so much to do when someone has dementia, though, that I simply didnt have time to get it all done and ended up at burnout. My son insisted that OH should have carers and I found that although OH wasnt keen, he took to them pretty quickly and Im sure this is because he was used to someone coming in to help me clean.

The main thing though, is to remember that your dad is still there, even though he is having difficulties. Try and make good memories. Your dad probably wont remember, but you will and in years to come you will treasure them
 

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