Help - what happens now?

helen johnson

Registered User
Jun 14, 2006

My partners father has just been diagnosed and obviously we and the family are shocked but know very little about the future.
The websites are very useful but they don't mention the timescale of the progression of the illness? Does it vary by person?
Are there any things apart from medication that can help?

Thank you


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
Help what happens now

Hi Helen
I am quite new to tp its my husband that has dementia
and i know and am still asking my self time scales etc it is not that we want to know how long the eventual out come is just that we are so devestated by what is happening and i understand compleatly where you are at
I would of liked to of been more help
but i am not as experienced as others on tp
keep posting there a lot of people with a lot more info and understandig on tp than us
DO not stop posting
love Bel x


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Last edited:


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Helen,
I think they don't mention it, cos they don't know. Partly it depends on the type of dementia. My mum showed early signs 15 years ago, is now in advanced stages, but still no-one can give us an idea of time. How is your partner and his mum? Is his dad aware of his condition?
Are there any things apart from medication that can help?
Depends what stage you are at, but easy routines, labels on cupboards, clothes without too many fastenings, , family support for the sufferer and the main carer.
Welcome to TP, post any questions you have - someone will come up with an answer, Though you may all be feeling bleak now, the future will have highs as well as lows, follow Norman's sign off, Day by Day.
Love Helen.


Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
hiya helen

welcome to TP, time scale does vary, my mum was diagnosed in february with a very progressive form of dementia, and the doctors said her time was only a year, i know lots of other people can have it for years, so as amy has suggested finding out which type of dementia would be the next step, i havent personnally known of anything other than medication that would help, but patience, love and understanding does help,
take care


Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
We were never given a proper diagnosis for my mother, but if you count prescription of Aricept as a diagnosis, it was 17 days!


Margarita said:
One stage can last for years as in every Person it is different so you can't really say , but from being diagnose to death I have read its 20 years .


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
I believe it is almost impossible to predict the duration of the dementia until the person is late in the final stages, and even then it is a gamble.
Margarita said:
from being diagnose to death I have read its 20 years .
I'd suggest it is best to date anything from the first signs of the dementia as diagnosis can take many years, particularly for younger people with dementia, when doctors have less experience.

My wife showed first symptoms in 1991, I diagnosed her a few years later, and the doctors finally caught up to make an official diagnosis 7 years later. She is now at an advanced stage, but there is no sign of her final deterioration - that could be 5, 10, 15 years more, yet.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
You know what I have learn from reading being on TP yes with a love one who has any type of dementia is take one ay at a time with them don’t look in to there future , it do your head in :rolleyes: , love them look after them get all the out side help you can read up on it try to understand what is happening to the brain of a person with dementia , as for me it help me in my reaction to my mother in dealing with it all .

It’s been 3 years now I have look after my mum & it’s only past few mouths since being on TP that the realisation of the reality of what is happening to my mum brain is sinking in to me.

I wish I had, had this information 3 years back , but to tell you the truth I don’t think I would of really believed it , all that change a lot with my mother is that she does forget what I tell her & her balance is going .

All the best its always lovely to meet someone new to TP


Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
Hi Helen,

Welcome to Talking Point, although we all have a sad reason for meeting here.

Once you & your partner are over the shock, I think you'll find it easier to deal with if you find out a bit about Alzheimer's Disease by accessing some of the very good factsheets which the Alzheimer's Society produce.
Just click on the "i Factsheets" icon at the top left hand corner of the screen, and there's a weath of information at your fingertips.

My own Mum (87 years old) started showing early signs about 3 years ago but, as it coincided with the death of her sister from cancer, I thought at first that it was grief and/or depression. She was only 'officially' diagnosed last month, and is now taking Aricept. Hopefully this will slow now the decline in her memory, and also reduce the (uncharacteristic) anxiety state she gets into sometimes. Even in a person of her advanced years, there is no 'timescale' by which one can be guided. We shall just have to take things day by day, at HER pace, and make adjustments where possible. At present she is fine to stay in her own house by herself during the day, can still use the phone, simple microwave, kettle, washing machine and so on. However, her short term memory is awful, and I have to remember her daily pills, etc.

Best wishes