Thanks for the suggestion Katie - but we have already been down the social worker route and gave up on it as it was getting us nowhere. We are still trying to contact the dementia nurse (no joy today either). We have found that perseverance is the only thing that gets results. It's almost as though everyone is trying to make things difficult for us as a way of making us give up so that they don't have to spend any more time on us! I think that they think that mum and dad are getting good quality care from the two of us, so that relinquishes them of the responsibility of having to care for them. However, a friend on mine, who's dad has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia is getting a really good service from his GP, Consultant and Social Worker - he lives in the catchment area for UCL in London. There is definitely a post code lottery happening in our case.
There will be an emergency out of hours adult social care team number if things get to crisis point. However I think you should keep calling adult social care, or go round to their office and demand to see whoever is on charge and say that you have rung X number of times and wish to report that you are dis satisfied with their service. Sometimes its those that shout loudest that get noticed.....it shouldn't be like that but unfortunately it is.You say your calls and details are recorded, so let them know this when you go to see them and ask them to 'find' you on their system and that you are prepared to wait whilst they do so!
Contact Age UK they can be very helpful, ask if their local agent can call and talk through the difficulties and give any advice.
The GP could do more!
Has your Dad seen a consultant/specialist that made the diagnosis? Like the Mental Health Team/Department? they may be able to advise on more effective medications. It might be a good idea to ask for an urgent appointment to see them for a medication review.
We went through a very similar story with my Dad ....getting up several times a night, getting dressed, putting clothes on over his pyjamas, insisting it was time for breakfast, trying to unlock doors in the pitch dark, not noticing or caring that it was 2 a.m......yes we too were exhausted, so I empathise.
Be careful with self administering any drugs.....medications are designed to act on a normal brain not one that is deteriorating therefore a GP or Consultants guidance is required for safety reasons and regular medication reviews are necessary. However, some of these behaviours are traits of the condition and medications are not effective in some cases!
Would it help if your Dad was able to attend a day centre? he might be more mentally stimulated be cared for, give you a much needed break (or a sleep!) he could have lunch, socialise with others, stay all day or part of a day and some day centres even have a mini bus and can collect and return clients to their home. Not sure if it would help him sleep but its worth a try.
Could he have a carer a couple of sessions a week? (this is where a social worker could/should help!) however if he is receiving Attendance Allowance or any other benefits it could cover the cost of this from a good private company if social services are being slow to help! A carer could mean that you and your sister could take turns with the carer?
Good Luck