Dear Roann
I am so sorry to hear about your husband, and offer my sincere sympathy as one who has just gone through much the same with my wife who passed away a week ago, after being placed in a home two months ago. I had looked after her myself for a long while, but when I could no longer cope, admittance to a home was the only option.
I too was with my wife when she slipped away. We had been married 62 years, but any long term relationship will bear heavily on one's emotions under these circumstances. You must expect to feel distressed and exhausted, for it is only when it's all over that you begin to realise just how much you have given of yourself in the process.
The awful pain of loss, the heartache, the big hole in your life - where do I go from here - are all to be expected. Much as you did before, take one day a time, at least for a while, to allow yourself to recover physically and emotionally. The pain does ease after a while, but never entirely goes away. I wouldn't want it to.
TP was (still is) a great help to me before and after Elsie's passing, and like me, you must have family, friends, neighbours all there wanting to help if you need it. Just talking, telling how it really was, I found helped me enormously.
I left an earlier TP thread about letting go and moving on, easier to say than to do, but yes, we do need to move on, but only at the pace that is right for you. Don't rush anything - it will all slowly fall into place.
My condolences to your family, they too must be feeling the strain.
Take care Roann,
Love and best wishes
Bill