Help someone please

Fluffy pom pom

New member
Jul 21, 2019
5
My mom in law has vascular dementia and progressing fast! Adult services are concerned and so is the Dr! She's ok one minute aggressive and violent the next! She's been offered to go on holiday to Scotland 6 hours up the motorway! We don't think its a good idea, due to her aggression from one extreme to another, not safe in a car 80mph, she went on a day trip 60mins away and refused to go in her home saying she don't live there, any thoughts?
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,340
My mom in law has vascular dementia and progressing fast! Adult services are concerned and so is the Dr! She's ok one minute aggressive and violent the next! She's been offered to go on holiday to Scotland 6 hours up the motorway! We don't think its a good idea, due to her aggression from one extreme to another, not safe in a car 80mph, she went on a day trip 60mins away and refused to go in her home saying she don't live there, any thoughts?
This sounds very difficult. If the doctor and adult social services are concerned, then it might be the time to think about alternatives to home care. This could be an issue of safeguarding, keeping her safe. The holiday sounds too challenging to me. warmest, Kindred
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,498
Yorkshire
hi @Fluffy pom pom
that long a journey is tough on anyone, never mind someone with advancing dementia .... passengers will have to get out for food and loo stops, which may be tricky ... personally, I'd be finding reasons for it not to happen
might whoever is offering the holiday come to her area instead, so they do the travelling ... and will get to see how your mil behaves, so understand the reason for the change
if your mil doesn't know about the holiday, don't discuss it with her ... if she does, again don't discuss it or say it's planned for next year
if it's a holiday your fil wants, might he go and your mil have a holiday in a nice hotel close to home (respite in a care home)
if it seems the holiday might go ahead, do contact Adult Services
given your mil's aggression, it does sound as though, rather than a holiday, it's time to look into residential care
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,342
South coast
I dont know where this idea of a holiday has come from, but it doesnt sound like a good idea at all to me - in fact it sounds like the journey would be downright dangerous :eek: She would also need a lot of looking after during the holiday itself