Help please

nov14

Registered User
May 27, 2014
20
Goostrey, Cheshire
Is there a number you can ring for advice / to let off steam? My local carers centre has a helpline but it only operates Monday to Friday.

I've had enough. I can't cope with my Mum anymore and I'm on the verge of walking out of my home and leaving her alone.

I've got respite in 2 weeks but I have no idea if I can last that long. I've had enough now and just want to disappear.


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Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,480
Dundee
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.

The National Dementia Helpline closed at 4 today but is open from 10 to 4 tomorrow.

0300 222 1122

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200365&_ga=1.142294196.789743645.1408462546

The Samaratins has an emotional listening service. If you want to speak to someone now you should ring and talk to them.

This is their number -

08457 90 90 90

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us


Please try to ring. It sounds as if talking would help.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
You could try The Samaritans, in my darkest times with my mum I have telephoned them and I just let it all go.
 

Tears Falling

Registered User
Jul 8, 2013
637
Hope you get a chance to call one of the numbers. Or friends, family or neighbours you could talk with.

Samaritans would be helpful for tonight and the dementia helpline again in the morning.

So sorry to read you are feeling so low.
 

rafferty

Registered User
Dec 27, 2011
85
cardiff
you should ring social services and tell them you are unable to cope and ask them for emergency respite. my heart goes out to you .
 

theunknown

Registered User
Apr 17, 2015
396
Let off all the steam you want on here. I know it's not the same as talking to somebody, but everybody here will understand how you're feeling, ie that longing to walk away from it all and have someone else take on the burden. It doesn't matter what the relationship was in the past; we're now dealing with a different reality. You probably will cope, but that doesn't make it all right x
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,774
Salford
It's good to talk and we're all here to listen nov, rant away. Sometime putting it all in writing help clear your head.
K
 

nov14

Registered User
May 27, 2014
20
Goostrey, Cheshire
Thanks everyone. I'm still here but it's been a very long day. I'm an only child so no immediate family to talk to and extended family aren't interested. Fortunately I have two very good friends who listen to all my problems and calm me down.

Such a lot going on as Mum is deteriorating quite rapidly at the moment and I'm so tired I can't think straight. I work full time and then care for Mum, who lives with me, when I'm not at work. The last time I had an uninterrupted nights sleep was early May when she was in hospital.

Finally managed to get her settled in bed and actually managed to persuade her to get undressed and put a nightie on for the first time this week. We have carers twice a day Mon-Fri morning and lunch but I think I'll have to ask if we can have another call to get her ready for bed.


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AlsoConfused

Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
1,953
Very good idea to get carers in to put your Mum to bed. You're much more likely to be able to sleep at night if someone else frees you of what often becomes the pre-bedtime ratcheting up of tension on both sides, due to the demented person's inability to take into account tomorrow's demands and the carer's inability to deal with their tiredness and irritation.
 

Dimelza

Registered User
May 28, 2013
130
Oh you poor thing :(
My dad sleeps well but my friend's father has sleeping medication for this reason. Would that be an option for your mum?
 

nov14

Registered User
May 27, 2014
20
Goostrey, Cheshire
The GP says he won't give Mum even a very mild sedative because this would make her wobbly and potentially cause he to fall.


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Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,491
Yorkshire
Hi Nov14
when you are asking for a bedtime call (and I agree that I found they took a lot of the stress away when dad had them) ask about something for her during the day - some day care or sitter - and some respite - you sound as though more support would help YOU as well as your mum - and there's no harm in asking - tell them exactly why (show them your post?) don't hold back!
 

nov14

Registered User
May 27, 2014
20
Goostrey, Cheshire
She does go to daycare once a week on a Tuesday and I work from home that day so I can take her and pick her up again afterwards. There's not much else round here apparently and if there was we'd struggle with transport. She needs someone to come in the house put her shoes and cost on, put the dogs in their cages and lock up. None of the local transport options will do that

I've got a weeks respite in two weeks time.


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