• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

help please


Registered User
Sep 6, 2015
10 days ago we were called in by the home as dad was refusing food, drink and meds. He had been tempremental about this for the week previous but now they considered this to be his choice to leave us. We spent the next 5 days at his bedside slowly watching him leave us to the point where they said it would be within hours. We stepped out for a couple of hours to eat and prepare ourselves and when we came back he was sat up in bed smiling. He knew me instantly, something he hadn't done for a year now and we spent the day chatting and laughing. It was great but they said this was the clarity moment and he was still end of life for any day. He did again go down and we again prepared but he has done the same again. They are now saying he may have changed his mind or he could suddenly die. To say mum and I have gone through every emotion and feeling is an understatement. I have to now return to work. Someone said this may bring on the initial desire to die again. Has anyone else had this and how long can this go on.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I`m really sorry to read this Shazz but I`m afraid no one will be able to answer your question.

You have to return to work and live your life as normally as possible. It has been known for people with dementia to rally time and time again and there is no explanation.


Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
North East England
It is hard this waiting game. You feel as if you are holding your breath and waiting for the phone to ring 24/7. All I can say is try to live as normal a life as possible, make plans, laugh, go out, enjoy yourself. What you are waiting for, will come in it's own sweet time and you can't make it happen it any quicker.

We said our final farewells. ...or so we thought:confused:..(including last rites once and a commendation by the vicar,:rolleyes:) probably 5 or 6 times before my Mum finally left this world. Her poor GP would visit on a Thursday, be convinced she'd not last the weekend and by the next Thursday she'd be sitting up in bed. I'd speak with my aunt and cousin, I'd Skype my sister 7000 miles away,( luckily she didn't buy a plane ticket each time.:rolleyes:)

She was a creaking gate who finally creaked her last in February this year, just shy of her 88th birthday. I can add that everything was well planned for her funeral....we'd had plenty of practice.
Bye Mum, miss you. x

Thinking of you going through this, I remember it well.x.x


Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
When FIL died we were going through this for about 7 months before he finally died. With my father, about 3weeks. With OH, not at all.
Where's that string?


Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
West Hertfordshire
My father was very poorly, and had quite a few nieces who were very fond of him. They rang me almost daily, and he slowly slipped away.

On the sunday they decided it was last chance saloon and up they came to see him.

he had a marvellous day, was better than he'd been for days and days, I swear if you'd had a pack of cards he could have beaten us all,

I swear they thought I was over exaggerating - I wasn't- It totally baffled me.
The Monday he was back to his V poorly self

He died 4 days later