Help please


Registered User
Nov 18, 2006
All the fact sheets refer to encouraging someone to go to the GP, and that treatment is volountary.
What do you do if the person is completely refusing to do that ?

I really can't cope with this, I also look after my brother who has mental problems, and my dad's weird actions are affecting him. All this talk of "get support", but I just CAN NOT DEAL WITH MY DAD, I don't want him in the house, I feel so guilty saying that.

I feel like i've got a stone in my chest, I have contant headaches, and feel fear almost all day.


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Kenny
could you try and get your dad to go to the GP under false pretences......say you both need a medical check?Blood pressure check? Flu jab etc etc .....and go together? then send a letter beforehand to the GP so they know the score.......
It sounds as if you have an awful lot on your sound stressed out so if i were you i'd make myself an can discuss your dad as well then.....

I don't want him in the house, I feel so guilty saying that.
don't feel guilty.....its normal to feel like that.....I often do!!!

I feel like i've got a stone in my chest, I have contant headaches, and feel fear almost all day.
My brother used to feel like that all the time when he was caring for did I!! Its very stressful for the carer......the disease can bring out very unpredictable behaviour and you don't quite know whats coming next......

Take care
love xx


Registered User
Nov 18, 2006
There's absolutely no chance he will go to the GP. Can the doctor take action againist his will ? He can not be reasoned with.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Kenny,
I would suggest that you get yourself to the GP, a.s.a.p., and discuss the whole situation with him. Do not hold back - tell him what is happening at home, and your fears. The GP hopefully will be able to come up with suggestions of a way forward. It maybe that he will call at the house on the pretext of visiting you. But you need to get yourself some support in this situation.
Love Helen

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi Kenny, I agree with Helen. If you can`t get your dad to the GP, then you go and explain the situation. He may agree to a home visit, but I have to warn you, he can`t make your dad do anything against his will, unless he`s considered unfit to act responsibly on his own behalf.
The most important thing just now, is for your GP to be made aware of the stress you are under, and for you to see if there is any help available for you.
Good luck, Sylvia

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Hi Kenny

Yup, GPs seem to the key to much support - but not the only ones .. completely back up what's already been said here - are yours and dad's GPs one and the same? I've actually found it helpful that mum and I are under different GPs who have in their own different ways provided support to both of us......

Social services may be another route ..... (and if you're already a carer for your brother what, if any, professional support networks are in place for you there?).

Your brother, your dad, and clearly you as their carer are in need of the 'holistic approach' - fragmented attention by different professionals to each of your individual needs may not be appropriate ....... an appropriate 'professional' would be suggesting now a 'multi-agency approach' .. from my experience it's Social Services, rather than a GP who can instigate that ..... what's MOST important is that then YOUR role - not to mention well-being - is considered alongside those you are supporting...

Just a thought,

Love, Karen, x


Registered User
Nov 18, 2006
Well I went to the doctor and explaned the situation. His answer did not give me much hope.

Basicly he said there were two options, I could try and persuade dad to let the doctor come to see him, or we wait until dad gets worse and action can be taken againist his will.

So that's that, there's no chance in hell that dad would ever see the doctor, so i'm now faced with simply waiting for a time until dad gets so bad he's a danger to himself or others.

Perhaps by that time we will both be round the bend, and they can take both of us away.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Yes I would say from looking back at my own past with my mother not diagnosed with AD and my brother with his mental illness , I wish I had know that there was a carer group like the

They can offer so much advice in how to look after yourself, while you are under so much stress, who is the main carer for your brother?

Sadly yes it got to the stage that my mother was so bad that I made an appointment and just took her to the doctor , told her it was due to her diabetic . doctor who took one look at her , listen to what I was saying in front of my mother , by that point I did not care how upset mum got in what I was saying to doctor .

doctor dismiss mum , when she got angry, but I think she understood what was happening to her , even thought I never and referred her to the elderly consultant and got the roll rolling from there .

My mother keep saying why did I not cover up for her, now I understand that her perceptions of thinking was not working right due to the AZ .

Because if she was thinking right, she would of seen what I was doing was wanting to help her

So the more you tell your dad that he not well, criticise him when he does something wrong the angrier his going to get with you and not listen and not listen anyway , because that side of perception in his brain is being affective with the disease that is going on in his brain .

That’s why it is important that you get help , with your own stress in handling all this, my theory and 4 years of caring for my brother and mother is that if you recognise your own stress , your be able to help your dad and brother , it you want to that is , don't forget you do have a choice.

Yes I did find it all confusing with social service and 'multi-agency approach’ like tender face said.

The link above well deal with your needs, if you’re a career anyway, but more so if you’re a career for someone with mental illness, and do offer counseling and then there MIND.

Does your brother have a CPN ? as I found Him very helpfull with advice for my mother and my brother

For AZ information it seem that left to the AZ society , who do not offer so much therapeutic therapy to the career to help with the stress , because of un funding ( in my area anyway ) but can offer day center , when the time come.
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