My husband is 83 and I am 77. He has had an Alzheimer's diagnosis for roughly 9 years and I|am his sole carer. He goes to daycare on one day a week beween 10 and 3pm and I have a volunteer who comes to sit with him on one evening a week. He is not physically aggressive so I am very lucky there. However, what I am finding terrible to deal with is his inability to deal with toileting although he is not entirely incontinent. He wears pull-ups but I invariably have to clean him up and am also finding wrapped unpleasant items in many places. I'm sorry but this is making me heave! It has been getting worse over the past year. I am just keeping my head above water but have already visited carehomes as I think I am reaching a point where I just can't cope with this and with his undecipherable language. I change my mind a dozen times a day as to whether the time has come to take this ghastly decision. He has 3 lots of respite stays since July and I have another booked for the week after next without which I simply couldn't cope. I know this has to be my decision, although my two sons who do not live near are extremely supportive. I just need to hear how others have coped in these circumstances. Thanks so much.