help please - new to this site....


Registered User
Jan 16, 2007
West Midlands, UK
I have been reading all the messages for a few days and already feel that there is alot of support going on amongst everyone here - which is really lovely!!
My situation is that my mother has been gradually becoming confused over the last 4 years, and last week was unable to walk and was admitted to hospital. She was under assessment from our local clinic but so far we have not had a 'diagnosis', although we are pretty sure it is dementia/alzheimers - particularly as there is history of it in her family and she has the same traits as them, she has been really confused etc and seems to have lost sense of many things although she does still have memory of lots of other things ( often confusing).
The hospital have arranged for OT's to assess her etc, and the local memory clinic are already involved with her. The hospital have said that she can come home if the bedroom is moved downstairs and she has 24hr care at home. My father is finding all this really difficult as he doesnt think he can cope with her care, especially personal care etc.. but as a family we are going to help him.
Have you got any advice on how best to help my mum, what sort of things should we have in place in her bedroom etc, she is really unsteady on her feet. She has really good days and really bad day in terms of her memory etc... What sort of things can we do to stimulate her at home. The hospital have said that she has started to walk a little bit again and we feel that she still can with encouragement. Both my parents are in their 70's.


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hi Mia, just wanted to extend a warm welcome to TP. So glad that you have found us.

I am sure you will soon have some answers to your questions. Regards,


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Mia, and welcome to TP. You've found the right place for support and answers!
on his own
I look after my husband, who has AD, and our ages are similar to your parents. It's hard going, so it's really good that you're all going to help.

I can't help you with solutions to the mobility problem, John is still fully mobile, but I'm sure you'll get lots of replies.

Have you been assessed by Social Services?. Even though you're all helping, your dad could do with help from them, just to give him a rest, or to get out on his own now and again. Take all the help you are offered, it's not easy caring 24/7.

It's lovely that you are such a caring family, and I'm sure you'll all do your best for your mum.



Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
hello mia welcome to the family

my mum is in a dementia hospital but she is allowed home on a regular basis but i know before that happened we had the social services out to assess the house they were the ones who decided what we needed for her, we had a stairlift put in as her bathroom is upstairs, we had a commode for downstairs, we had blocks to put under the chair legs to higher the chair for her and now they are going to fit hand rails in the bathroom we also had a bath lift that enabled my dad to lower mum into the bath (when she'd let him) im sure you'l get the same sort of services, my aunt when she was ill (not dementia) also had a lift to get her in and out of bed but i think that was more for the carers to use.
im sure your dad will get help with washing and dressing too the help is there, you just have to shout loud to get it.
good luck x


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Mia
welcome to TP.
The first thing that you need to do is contact Social services for a community assesment.
When the needs are known and agreed funding should be available,for personal care.
From this you need an OT to advise on how to provide the best aids,at home.
I care for my wife and once you can get the ball rolling the help should be there.
Been there ,done it