Help please: moving parents to home during pandemic

[Trekker]

Is there any way your dad's phone could develop a fault? All those phone calls whether you answer them or not seem impossible to deal with. I hope the GP comes up with something to take the edge of his anger/distress/worry.
How's your mum doing?

I’m thinking about moving the phone to his room, where it could be plugged but wouldn’t work, but then we couldn’t phone them. I wish I could hug my mum andmake her smile, this must be so confusing and upsetting for her. Feels like there is nothing I can do to reach my dad but my mum, after years of being like my dad is now is back to being sweet, even though v v confused.

 

[Pete1]

but then we couldn’t phone them.

Hi @Trekker, you can speak to the Care Home and ask how they would manage this e.g. if the phone was 'removed' or not working, is there a cordless phone that they can take to Mum and Dad when you call for that call only. That is fairly common practice.

 

[Helly68]

Or, could you block his number on your phone? My Mum (now late stage, mixed dementia) used to phone numerous times a day before she went into a care home.
This only stopped when, much to her disappointment, I refused to buy her a mobile phone once she was in the CH. By that time she would have been unlikely to be able to use it anyway.
I visit regularly (once restrictions are lifted) and the staff have brought a phone to Mummy so she can talk to me, but she is getting beyond that now.
I agree with above, talk to the CH staff, who are probably aware of this problem.

 

[canary]

Unfortunately, its often the sight of the phone that triggers the desire to phone. So they see the phone, phone up, forget that they have phoned, see the phone in their hands, phone up, forget they have phoned...........

Sometimes removing the phone stops this as not seeing the phone means that they dont think about phoning and do not miss it.

I can see why you dont want to remove it, though, as during this time of lockdown its often the only way to contact them.

 

[Trekker]

Or, could you block his number on your phone? My Mum (now late stage, mixed dementia) used to phone numerous times a day before she went into a care home.
This only stopped when, much to her disappointment, I refused to buy her a mobile phone once she was in the CH. By that time she would have been unlikely to be able to use it anyway.
I visit regularly (once restrictions are lifted) and the staff have brought a phone to Mummy so she can talk to me, but she is getting beyond that now.
I agree with above, talk to the CH staff, who are probably aware of this problem.

Thank you for your advice.

 

[Trekker]

Unfortunately, its often the sight of the phone that triggers the desire to phone. So they see the phone, phone up, forget that they have phoned, see the phone in their hands, phone up, forget they have phoned...........

Sometimes removing the phone stops this as not seeing the phone means that they dont think about phoning and do not miss it.

I can see why you dont want to remove it, though, as during this time of lockdown its often the only way to contact them.

Have stuck with the phone but only answer it the first time and block number 9pm to 9am. Am eating and drinking far too much as a way of dealing with the sadness of it all. Loving someone with dementia should be on the list of risk factors for obesity and liver disease. Joked to my husband today that I can only hope there’s enough time between my parents’ dementia ending and mine/ours starting for me to get physically and mentally fit again. Dark humour for dark times.