My Mum (87) who is very frail and with middle stage A/D, has this summer spent 4 months in hospital from June to October due to malnutrition, and recurrent UTI, followed by just 4 weeks at home recently with 4 care calls a day during which she continually and vocally refused all personal hygiene/laundry assistance from her carers, she would not let them near her - and spent most of the time in bed..hardly drinking, maybe 2/3 coffees a day. The only help she would accept from the carers was food/drink preparation and meds. Mostly after that she told them to 'clear off'! She did not want them there.
Mum has been incontinent with her bowels now for a while and because of her lack of hygeine, (she is frail and cannot keep herself clean down below due to her A/D, seeming to have forgotten how to clean her bottom she just wipes everything from the back to the front) and also she was wearing the same soiled clothes for a month and sleeping in a soiled bed despite the carers repeatedly offering their help) and on 6th November she ended up back in hospital due to dehydration,urine retention, constipation, very severe delirium, and another infection.
I went to visit her in hospital on Monday and Tuesday this week. She had completed a course of IV antibiotics, was on painkillers, she'd had a bladder scan which was fine now and had been successfully treated for her constipation. She had removed her own catheter herself 'because it was full of wee'!! Ouch! She was back on her feet and in improved mood on Tuesday after being unable to walk due to a swollen knee. Yesterday we were told that she had once more been referred to the hospital social workers about going home again. She lives alone and isolated in a second floor flat and relies on a walking frame to mobilise.
Late this afternoon, after office hours, I rang to see how Mum was and found out to my utter surprise that she had been moved onto a different ward and arrangements already made by a social worker to transport her home by 11.30 on Monday morning with the same care package as she had previously. (They would have sent her today but the carers could not do it!)
I have had no contact at all from the social workers and am very concerned that they can just send my Mum home without making contact with me as Next of kin and POA, I am concerned that she will continue the same as how she was prior to this latest hospitalstay and probably end up back in hospital for a third time. The Sister on the new ward said she would note my concerns but I must speak to the social worker on Monday morning. She confirmed that Mum was bowel incontinent as at today.
Mum has, as far as I can find out, had no referral to a Continence Nurse which is surely immediately essential as she has no comprehension whatsoever of how to cope with her incontinence herself (and in any case will not allow carers' help with it ????) - and also no consideration has been given to ensuring that things are OK for her to return home - stuff like getting food in for her return, as her fridge is virtually empty, or to making arrangements for someone to go in to put heating on, etc. etc. I can get these arranged but that's not the point!! I really feel I should have been informed.
I guess what I need to know is has the proper procedure been followed here for her discharge especially re. continence management especially when Mum has a history of refusal of personal care and self-neglect? It has only been 5 weeks since her previous discharge and the lengthy and detailed social workers' care plan simply has not worked as Mum refused to co-operate with it from the start.
Also does anyone know how I can get a continence referral sorted out fast if I need to do it myself? I heard from Mum's GP whe she was in before that sometimes these can take months.
Tried to keep this short but I'm sorry, it's a long story...I can't visit often as I live 70 miles away and must rely on my husband who is 73 to drive me there, I am 63 myself. The continual worry of all this it's badly affecting our own health and we and our son and his wife as well as Mum's Geriatrician are all of the opinion that Mum needs 24hr. care although she scraped through capacity tests in September by the skin of her teeth and wanted to go home. I have POA and am Mum's only close relative.
Any advice would really appreciated and I will look for replies tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
Mum has been incontinent with her bowels now for a while and because of her lack of hygeine, (she is frail and cannot keep herself clean down below due to her A/D, seeming to have forgotten how to clean her bottom she just wipes everything from the back to the front) and also she was wearing the same soiled clothes for a month and sleeping in a soiled bed despite the carers repeatedly offering their help) and on 6th November she ended up back in hospital due to dehydration,urine retention, constipation, very severe delirium, and another infection.
I went to visit her in hospital on Monday and Tuesday this week. She had completed a course of IV antibiotics, was on painkillers, she'd had a bladder scan which was fine now and had been successfully treated for her constipation. She had removed her own catheter herself 'because it was full of wee'!! Ouch! She was back on her feet and in improved mood on Tuesday after being unable to walk due to a swollen knee. Yesterday we were told that she had once more been referred to the hospital social workers about going home again. She lives alone and isolated in a second floor flat and relies on a walking frame to mobilise.
Late this afternoon, after office hours, I rang to see how Mum was and found out to my utter surprise that she had been moved onto a different ward and arrangements already made by a social worker to transport her home by 11.30 on Monday morning with the same care package as she had previously. (They would have sent her today but the carers could not do it!)
I have had no contact at all from the social workers and am very concerned that they can just send my Mum home without making contact with me as Next of kin and POA, I am concerned that she will continue the same as how she was prior to this latest hospitalstay and probably end up back in hospital for a third time. The Sister on the new ward said she would note my concerns but I must speak to the social worker on Monday morning. She confirmed that Mum was bowel incontinent as at today.
Mum has, as far as I can find out, had no referral to a Continence Nurse which is surely immediately essential as she has no comprehension whatsoever of how to cope with her incontinence herself (and in any case will not allow carers' help with it ????) - and also no consideration has been given to ensuring that things are OK for her to return home - stuff like getting food in for her return, as her fridge is virtually empty, or to making arrangements for someone to go in to put heating on, etc. etc. I can get these arranged but that's not the point!! I really feel I should have been informed.
I guess what I need to know is has the proper procedure been followed here for her discharge especially re. continence management especially when Mum has a history of refusal of personal care and self-neglect? It has only been 5 weeks since her previous discharge and the lengthy and detailed social workers' care plan simply has not worked as Mum refused to co-operate with it from the start.
Also does anyone know how I can get a continence referral sorted out fast if I need to do it myself? I heard from Mum's GP whe she was in before that sometimes these can take months.
Tried to keep this short but I'm sorry, it's a long story...I can't visit often as I live 70 miles away and must rely on my husband who is 73 to drive me there, I am 63 myself. The continual worry of all this it's badly affecting our own health and we and our son and his wife as well as Mum's Geriatrician are all of the opinion that Mum needs 24hr. care although she scraped through capacity tests in September by the skin of her teeth and wanted to go home. I have POA and am Mum's only close relative.
Any advice would really appreciated and I will look for replies tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
Last edited:
