Help please I'm in Australia but my Da with Dementia (just diagnosed) is in the UK

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Hilary in Oz, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. Hilary in Oz

    Hilary in Oz Registered User

    Oct 23, 2008
    Cooma NSW
    Hi there
    My dad was diagnosed this week with vascular Dimentia. having just spent the last couple of hours surfing the net it seems likely that his condition went un diagnosed for a long time despite frequent visits from the GP and to hospital as an emergency in the last 9 months. :mad: Mum has been coping with him during this time, with some help via social services, but now he's in hospital for 3 weeks of assesment and then hopefully some sort of long term care plan. :)
    He's 84, blind and been pretty much house & wheel chair bound for the last 2 years. That was as a result of him breaking his hip and only getting a very poor repair rather than replacement.
    He's now unable to walk or even get out of a chair without the help of at least 2 nurses and to top it all has a UTI which is very bad too. He did weigh about 13 stone but is now down to 9 stone, Dad now only recognises Mum on every other day when she visits and frequently seems to be no more than 4 years old, asking about his Mum and dad and siblings, except those that would be younger than him, which is very sad for Mum as he doesn't remeber her or my sister who died 4 years ago.
    What I'd like to know is what help is Mum likely to get from the NHS etc as I think it would be imposible for dad to ever go home? I'd like to help her as much as I can from here by finding out and pointing her in the right direction as i'm sure she is finding all of this very overwhelming too.
    Mum and dad are in Barnsley so anyone who knows about care in that area please would be useful.
    Email responses also welcome if allowed via this forum. Mum's on email so i can pass on advice etc.
  2. Marianne

    Marianne Registered User

    Jul 5, 2008
    NW England
    Hi Hilary
    My father had Vascular Dementia and other problems including a badly repaired hip.

    What should happen after your dad is assessed he should qualify for NHS Continuing Healthcare which would result in him receiving care paid for in a Nursing Home. This is assuming your mum and dad have money in excess of the amount that requires them to pay which is around £21,000.

    If not Social Services should step in and offer a package of care in a care home if your mum cannot manage.

    It will then require your mum to visit care homes and decide which would be best for your dad.

    None of this happened with my dad, he was assessed and I was asked by Social Services if he had more than £21,000 which I confirmed he had, I was told he would have to pay for himself, until his money came down to £21.000.

    When she visits care homes advise her to just drop in. If she can take someone with her, 4 eyes are better than 2 and talk to anyone she sees visiting other people residents.

    I hope this helps a little.
    Best wishes
  3. mica123

    mica123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2008
    Hi Hilary,Marianne has given excellent advice,may i add to it by suggesting that your family also speak to carers when they visit a home.a lot can be gained from doing this,they are caught unaware and will be truthful because they should not have been prept on you maybe asking questionsThey may be having a bad day,as it happens so often in carers lives,look for the most stressed looking member of staff(i do hope there are none),and ask them about the home.i guarantee that they will be honest,but will back the home.Also look at inspection reports which should be on display in the home,they can be a bit hard to folllow at times,but will give the satisfaction of what you need to know about the home.
    good luck
  4. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    Hi Hilary

    welcome to TP
    just a thought you say your mum is on email so she has a computer would she be able to register on tp herself as I is so helpful and surportive, plus there is a good site to look up care homes in your area I am looking at it as we are looking for a good home for my step mum,

    hope this helps
  5. Hilary in Oz

    Hilary in Oz Registered User

    Oct 23, 2008
    Cooma NSW
    Dad's been sectioned... So quickly...


    Thank you all for your support and suggestions. It seems hard to believe that now Dad has been sectioned so soon after going for multidisciplinary assessment :confused:. Mum is now getting broadband so will be able to join TP. At the moment she's been on dial up and had to connect to the phone line in Dad's bedroom to go online. She's also worried about viruses etc. Not bad for 70 though. Dad is not eating, won't take his meds, and is being very uncooperative and violent. For a blind man confined to a wheel chair he's still very strong, even though he's now just over 9 stone. he was 6 ft and 13 stone! It's looking like Dad will be placed into a nursing home but because he's sectioned it will be on the NHS.:)
  6. olden

    olden Registered User

    Jul 16, 2008
    try checking out the homes that are suitable for you dad try .uk this way you can find a home that is best for your dad & for your mum to visit.
    good luck

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