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help not sure what to do

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by SKP, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. SKP

    SKP Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    #1 SKP, Sep 5, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2015
    Hi I have have been caring for my dad who is in his 80's, my mother died about 3 years ago & his dementia seems to be worsening, I visit him every morning to make sure he has breakfast & is ok, but twice in the last week or so he has injured himself once with a fall where he had a small mark on top of his head that bled quite a bit & yesterday where he cut his finger none of which were very bad, but the worrying thing is he cant remember how he has done these injury's so i am now getting very worried at what i should do for the best, i have tried all sort's to get him to come to my home & have a meal with me & my wife but he just refuses to come, any advice on what I should do would be most appreciated as I am starting feeling a little helpless & confused at what I should do next.
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    As a starting point, I would be talking to his GP.

  3. SKP

    SKP Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    I wasn't sure if his GP would actually speak to me, what with the seemingly endless ways people/organisations tend to use the data protection act nowadays but I will definitely try that thank you for taking the time to reply.
  4. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    do you not have POA for health and welfare if not they will not talk to . and if you have not I feel it is too late to get it now . think you may have to make him to come and stay with you .
  5. Pegsdaughter

    Pegsdaughter Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    My mothers doctor spoke to me before I had poa so is worth a go. I expressed concerns and he asked questions

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  6. dora

    dora Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    Talk to his GP

    You can certainly talk to his GP - the GP may not talk back to you, but should take on board that his patient is vulnerable.

    You can also ask SS for an assessment of your father's needs. It sounds as if he needs supervision.
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    #7 Beate, Sep 5, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2015
    You do not usually need POA to speak to his doctor. You should ask them to acknowledge you're his carer and write that in his care notes. Our GP surgery has never had a problem talking to me once I identified myself.
  8. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    Agree with Beate, if you're identified as carer, the gp should talk. This is what happened to me. I was talking to gp long before any POAs were registered.
  9. VonVee

    VonVee Registered User

    Dec 15, 2014
    Poole Dorset
    Dear SKP, I feel for you, I wish I could offer you some advice and insight if my head wasn't fried, I am going through the same, as you, and it's so hard isn't it, I've just posted too actually, so we are both in the same boat.
    All my thoughts and love
    VonVee x
  10. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi SKP, welcome to TP
    Phone social services and report him as a "vulnerable at risk adult" and ask for an assessment urgently. This can be done on line on the link below, but it does say "none urgent" can be done on line there is a phone number for urgent. I'd suggest you speak to them and set up a meeting where you can be there, tell him it's someone from the council want's to talk to him so it's better if you're there to help him.
    The people from Social Services are pretty switched on, they've seen it all before and no matter how well he performs they'll see what the situation is and advise what can be done.
    Once he stops looking after himself and keeps having potentially dangerous "accidents" then he is becoming a danger to himself you need to look at the options Social Services can suggest.

  11. SKP

    SKP Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    thank you for all your reply's & advice I will read through them as soon as possible its been a hectic time so not had much chance to get back on here.

  12. SKP

    SKP Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    I don't have POA as i didn't & tbh still don't think things had gotten bad enough yet, I am afraid that he would see that as me trying to control him in some way or even worse as an attempt by me to steal his money. I would hate for him to fallout with me as my sister lives quite a long way from us, so I am the only one who see's him on a regular basis, Im sure most of you have been through similar experiences & know exactly how confused I feel at this time again thank you all so very much for your help.


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