Well, Happy New Year to every one
I have previously posted back in November, but its the start of a new year, and hey here goes all the problems again.
When I [reviously posted, I was saying about my brother and now at my wits end. My brother and his partner live in my mums flat, he is down as her main carer, but has now decided "he wants a life" and has gone back to work leaving his partner to look after my mum, I work full time and can't pack up work as I have recently got divorced and in major debt, I go to my mums every night from 7 and stay there till she goes to bed, which is normally around 10. Christmas has been a nightmare, as he has not had to go to work, but the pub is open, and god has he been there, yesterday he was drinking all day, I had arranged to go out last night, and he obviously came home very drunk and very abusive, his partner range my mobile, and recorded the conversation on my mobile answerphone, where I could hear him swearing, my mum crying, his partner saying she was leaving, a terrible situation, he stayed out all night, my mum says she does not want to go into a home, and he his the main carer so social workers won't talk to me without his permission, and I am so worried, god knows what my mum is going through, I feel I have completely let her down, and can't help her, and she keeps saying to me, please help me, don't let me be like this, I want to die, etc
Last point, I read the comments from Martin, and yes I believe that my brother should have help, but when help is offered, he flares into a rage, and goes to the pub, causing all sorts of mayhem in his path. An example I can think of about his drinking is:- on christmas day he went to the pub lunch time, came home for dinner, had about 10 tins of beer and a whole bottle of gin (in the afternoon) and went back out at 8 - till gone midnight, and then we just don't say anything to him - just in case he starts, I have tried having a family meeting, and got my mums social worker, health visitor and a Alzheimers case worker in the meeting, and said openly about I thought my mum was getting too much for the pair of them to look after her properly, and they both said - it was not a problem looking after her, they don't want her to go into care and they are willing "whatever it takes" to care for her.
Any suggestions