Well, it's a rant really! OH ( Alzheimer's and vas dem, diagnosed 7 years ago, but had it 4 years before that) has got to e stage where he only recognises me, can't do anything for himself ( ie make coffee, switch on radio / TV ). I help him wash and dress/undress. Recently he has delusions, as he did in 2013. Adopting a baby boy was one, complicated by the fact that he actually has 2 adopted sons, now in their 40's. He has 'divorced' me so many times I have lost count, but it was every day over Christmas / new year. Joy! Over the last 2/3 months he thinks I have no right to be here, as I have been divorced ( note, I do have POA). It is quite frightening to see how his face changes as he stands on the top step of the bus and sees me. It is frightening. I spent today going to the care home to get him some respite. They promised to phone back, but haven't. I will try and phone them tomorrow when OH is not around. He was particularly obnoxious this evening. As he went to bed earlier (can sleep up to 17 hrs a night) I got up to go and sort the bedroom and he said you don't have to do anything for me. So I didn't. Childish, I know, but soooo satisfying! So, a cold bed, no pjs laid out, no radio on, no water in glass! Am now nearly at end of first glass of wine!! So, what do I do? Will two wks respite be enough, if they'll have him? Is this the start of full time care? He did hit me the other day, not hard, but with malice aforethought. Violence is one of my tipping points ( experience with my father). It can/will only get worse. He is also getting careless about smoking (pipe). Carpet burns, tries lighting up in the living room ( I suffer from chronic sinusitis ), has definitely smoked in shower room, tried to smoke in bedroom. This looks like an accident waiting to happen to me. Apart from respite, what do/ can I do? Any suggestions? Gold star for the person who says get drunk!!! Sorry for muddled post.