1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. very_scared

    very_scared Registered User

    Mar 12, 2013

    My lovely Mum, aged 59 was diagnosed with early onset in February. Now that someone has said the words "Mum has Alzheimer's" lots of little things that she has done over the years finally make sense. Mum's memory isn't too bad at the moment, she goes through phases of forgetting small things, nothing major. Where the disease is winning the battle is her speech and her awareness of what things are. For example, she knows that I drive a car, and she knows what one is - Alzheimer's has removed her ability to know how to get in it and she will often just open the car door and get out, leaving the door open as she has lost the ability to know that she should close it.

    Mum's speech is bad, she forgets the word she wants to say and get's all jumbled up. She also struggles to write without great concentration - it took her an hour to write her Mum's mothers day card.

    What breaks my heart though is that she is so scared of new things now and doesn't want to leave the house. She is petrified of being lost and will not do anything new by herself. I don't want her to feel like this so I have now reduced my hours at work so that I can see her once a week for a full day and take her to the places that she needs to go.

    I just feel so very sad and constantly worry about her. Mum lives by herself and I live 45 miles away. She has her parents close by and they keep an eye on her but I'm just very scared - can anyone offer help, advice or information on what might happen next?

  2. rjm

    rjm Registered User

    Jun 19, 2012
    Ontario, Canada
    Hi very_scared,

    Welcome to TP, although I am sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis and your need to be here. No one can really predict the time scale of the changes that will come next, or exactly what they will be or their order. There is much good information to be found in the factsheets on this site. It is easy to become overwhelmed by reading too much about the future, so tread lightly, not everything that you read about will necessarily happen to each person.

    I would hope that whoever did the diagnosis has helped to point the family to local supports. If not you can contact her local branch of the Alzheimer's society for help. It is always a good idea to get legal and financial affairs (PoA's, wills, etc) in order as soon as possible if they are not already dealt with. None of this can be done once the person is deemed incompetent, and unfortunately that point can come fairly soon.

    Best wishes to you and your family,
  3. very_scared

    very_scared Registered User

    Mar 12, 2013
    Thank you Richard, appreciate your advice. The factsheets are very good but as you say, a little overwhelming. Take care and best wishes to you and your family. V x
  4. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    hello very scared

    I was veryscared too but I have found such help, support and friendship on Talking Point that my scares have got less

    Much support

  5. mickeyblueeyes

    mickeyblueeyes Registered User

    Feb 19, 2013

    My mum was diagnosed last April aged 66 years and I know how painful this is to watch. My mum is scared of her diagnoses as she has very lucid moments whereby she knows full well what the future holds. She wants us (my sisters and I ) with her all the time and due to work committments this is not possible. SHe too lives alone and is so very scared. My heart goes out to you as it is just too young.
    I have no answers really but much understanding.


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