HELP! My dad has been whisked off to hospital-was it the right thing at this stage??

overwhelmed1

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
74
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Chester
My dad is in late stage alzheimers I believe (to be honest I think he has lewy bodies). Over the past few weeks he has really struggled to walk and has got aggressive with us due to his confusion etc. Speech has been going etc. A few days ago he ended up in bed and then stayed there and seemed to be delirious. The doctor couldn't find any evidence of any infection. Today, a different doctor has been out to assess him. He was lying in bed, staring into space, trying to talk and talking randomly (still delirious) not able to get hardly anything past his lips. The doctor said he must go to hospital to have a drip etc as is very dehydrated.

My issue is...why couldn't hospital at home do that? Now I feel utterly desperate because I feel that is it now...he is in the hands of a hospital that he has been to before with pancreatic issues and he was so distressed. The care was appalling.

I feel he was at end of life and should be let go if this is the end in his home surrounded by his family.

This disease is absolutely heart breaking, absolutely horrendous.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,075
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Bury
"The doctor said he must go to hospital to have a drip etc as is very dehydrated.

My issue is...why couldn't hospital at home do that? "


Rehydrating by an intravenous (IV) drip can make a big improvement. All IV intervention requires a doctor to be available.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,725
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actually our home first does IV drips - but my Ma was also refused the service by a consultant. I suggest that you talk to the hospital doctor tomorrow and ask them to arrange Hospital at home - tell them that he wants to be at home and that he is more comfortable and less stressed in his own environment and see if they will arrange it - they may agree that they will after a 24 hour spell in hospital xxxx I do understand how you feel xxx
 

overwhelmed1

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
74
0
Chester
actually our home first does IV drips - but my Ma was also refused the service by a consultant. I suggest that you talk to the hospital doctor tomorrow and ask them to arrange Hospital at home - tell them that he wants to be at home and that he is more comfortable and less stressed in his own environment and see if they will arrange it - they may agree that they will after a 24 hour spell in hospital xxxx I do understand how you feel xxx

Yes, I will. Thank you for that advice. When I asked the doctors etc about hospital at home, they said if he is at risk of ripping the drip out, then hospital at home no good as they only come twice a day etc.

I just want it to all end for him x
 

overwhelmed1

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
74
0
Chester
My dad has been in hospital overnight on a drip...this morning...no change in his condition.

If his state is due to mental deterioration not a virus etc, will he be allowed home? If he won't accept fluids/food, will he be able to come home?

:( so sad, I cried all night. I can't bear to see him in hospital. I will just cry constantly, it will be ridiculous.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
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SW London
I would ask the medics whether they think drips are going to do any good in the long run - after he goes home, will he soon be back in the same state again, and be taken back to hospital, only to repeat the cycle?

I say this because we were asked concerning an aunt with late stage dementia who had begun to refuse food and drink. I asked the GP what he would do if it were his much loved aunt, and he said that if she went to hospital for drips, it would only be an interim measure - the same thing would happen again quite soon. He said he would leave her where she was, in the familiar surroundings of her lovely care home - he felt that hospital would only be unnecessarily distressing for her.

The thing is, I think a lot of hospital medics are terrified of being accused of neglect, or 'callously allowing someone to die', and the fact is that some relatives do want absolutely everything possible done to keep someone going, no matter how pitiful the state they are in, and become very upset and indignant if anyone suggests it might be kinder to let Nature take its course.
 

Ellaroo

Registered User
Nov 16, 2015
161
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Liverpool
Hospital will give him a thorough check up, blood tests etc and hopefully will be home for xmas. He may improve , so they are giving him a chance.
Thinking of you
 

overwhelmed1

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
74
0
Chester
Hospital will give him a thorough check up, blood tests etc and hopefully will be home for xmas. He may improve , so they are giving him a chance.
Thinking of you

Thank you for your reply.
He's not improved so far. Like the above post, I fear that if he comes home, how is he going to be kept hydrated etc?
If it were my choice, I would stop forcing him to eat and drink and let him go. I would put a stop to all this suffering. He has suffered enough. I think the hospital should recognise this. I hope they do and let him come home.

I can't bear to see him in that hospital. I am finding all this harder than anything I have ever experienced.
 

overwhelmed1

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
74
0
Chester
If this is the end for my dad, is it not too soon? He has had alzheimers we think about 5 years now. I actually think it is lewy bodies. He is now 72. I thought alzheimers went on for a lot longer usually than 5 years?
 

mumsgone

Registered User
Dec 23, 2015
924
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end of life care

you have to be strong and insist on what you believe to be the best place for your dad to be. My mum became like your dad with no ability to swallow. I insisted she stay in the nursing home and was not to be taken to hospital to be put on a drip. I believed she was in pain so made sure she had painkilling patches. It is really hard to watch someone you love dissapearing before your eyes. If you feel he should be home go for it and get doctor to put palliative care in place. much love
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
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North East England
I have just come across this thread - too late to be of any help but just wanted to offer my sincere condolences, overwhelmed1. I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength to get through the days to come. xx
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,616
0
USA
Overwhelmed, please accept my condolences on the death of your father. I will be thinking of you and your family at this very difficult time.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Regards,

Amy
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
I'm so sorry to read of your dad's passing. Sending my condolences and wishing you strength. c


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